I was reading somewhere else about moms who have to work and someone wrote that they knew someone who wished their mom hadn't been so lazy and had worked...they had to wear hand-me-downs and not get all the things other kids did.
I remember hating that we never "had the money" to do this or that, but my parents went on vacation once or twice a year and had weekly dates. I wore stupid ugly clothes but I wasn't allowed to pick out my own clothes from the thrift shops. There was more to it than just not having the money, I learned once I was grown and looked back at my childhood.
I feel being home is important, and yes it does involve sacrificing, but it sure as hell isn't being lazy. I feel like I am on the go-cleaning this and cleaning that and cooking and chasing a toddler and driving three kids places and taking care of our finances and medical stuff and family stuff, it just never ends. My one time of day I can sit down is when my toddler is napping, and usually I do the laundry then bc it won't be knocked over or "helped" lol. I am on my feet until time to rock her to bed at night, then I go to bed myself! I feel bad for women who are seen as lazy just bc they don't have a paying job.
Now that I have a child in college(I have 4 kids, from 2-18 yrs old) I have been looking back and wondering if I shouldn't have gone to work also, would life have been better for the kids had I put them in school and gone to work. Is everything I've done for nothing, and they will talk about me years from now, saying they wished I had worked and gave them more and not been so lazy? I DID work when my oldest was 6 weeks old until my maternity leave with baby2 when baby1 was about 16 months old. I had to, as I was a single mom and was trying to prevent more gov assistance than I already got (medicaid and wic...but I was starving myself bc I couldn't afford food along with rent/bills/diapers/gas and food for the baby) It was a horrible time and I missed so much time with my daughter. I cried every single morning on the way to daycare, all the way to work, I finally stopped after a few minutes at work but started back towards the end of the shift and cried all the way to pick her up from daycare. I really couldn't handle it. Plus there were weeks every bit of money I made was paid into daycare and I STILL owed them. My mom ended up watching her the last few weeks until I had baby#2 and then I just did not go back to work. I regret all that time I missed and dh and I did whatever we could to make it so that I never had to do that again. And I felt/feel strongly about homeschooling the first few years, at least.
My kids haven't been able to have all the latest electronics and name-brand clothes. They do pick out their own clothes at thrift stores and request to go shopping at them bc they are more affordable.The oldest two do have cell phones but not the latest popular ones.
And one last thing...do any of you have any resources for dealing with empty nest syndrome while still raising younger children? My mom thinks my second-guessing my choices is related and I should read up on it.