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November Chat Thread - Page 2

post #21 of 130

I'm sorry kellybeth. That must feel crappy :(. My guess is that she also knows you're parenting styles are different and is maybe distancing from you because of that. Also did you take that test ;)

post #22 of 130
Kellybeth, maybe she's intimidated by what an amazing, beautiful, rock star mom
You are. Really.
post #23 of 130
Hi mamas! I know I haven't posted in FOREVER and I finally have a minute and thought I'd take advantage. I do lurk a lot and love to hear/see all the development with all the little ones. I can' t believe we are getting so close to first birthdays already!

How old is your little one?

Autumn is 9 months old today:-)

How is feeding going?

We are exclusively breast feeding right now. We introduced foods a couple months back but ended up with Major constipation issues (urgent care and enemas were involved- it was awful) so I decided to hit reset for a while and try again in a couple weeks. I. Nervous about it though snide I really really really don't want a repeat of that experience. I visited our naturopath today and he gave us a new homeopathic prescription so I'm hoping that does the trick.

How is sleep going?

It was nice reading everyone's responses on this subject because now I don't feel so alone in this department. She wakes every 1-2 hours to nurse but goes right back to sleep. I am a very light sleeper so I'm awake while she nurses and sometimes wish she would night wean so I can get some real sleep. OTOH I'm also thankful she nursing so often because it keeps my supply up since I'm gone 32 hours/week. Her care providers are frustrated that she doesn't like to nap on her own since I usually wear her or hold her if I'm home during the day for naps and don't mind at all. I guess their frustration will continue because I'm not about to give up my cuddle time!

How about teeth?

She is working on her sixth. She has two in bottom and four on top. I think she's been doing more night nursing because of this and definitely wants to put everything in her mouth but she has been ok otherwise. We use teething tabs and they work well for us.

How about walking?
She stood unassisted for the very first time today. I'm not sure about walking but I think it will be a little earlier than DD1 who started at 12 months. Maybe 11 months? But I'm in no rush. This year has already gone too fast for my taste and I want to keep my baby a little while longer.

How are you?
I'm ok. She finally popped on her own today and now I'm much less anxious. I seem to go into hyperdrive when something is wrong with one of the kiddos and I obsess about it until it works itself out. And I definitely don't hold it together well when I'm stressed so it's been a hard couple weeks for everyone. I am also about to finish medical school and move out of state. And while these are very happy things they bring stress too. But in a couple weeks I get my first real break in 3 years so I'm really looking forward to that. And we are getting a puppy soon too ( I must be certifiably insane!). I lost my dog of 14 years in April and this has been the first time in my life is haven't had a pet. I'm finally feeling ready to add a new dog so I'm getting one as a graduation present to myself. I also really want the girls to grow up with pets. So overall, I'm really good.

Community with other mamas?
I don't get a chance to socialize much with other moms since I am in school. The most I get is lurking on here and usually that is good for me but I do miss the sense of belonging. I have a few mom friends in a nearby town so I see them every other month or so but usually keep my crunchiness to myself and that can be hard. I'm hoping to make some good connections once we move to Oregon and I'm hopeful about the community there.
post #24 of 130
Kellybeth I wish I was there so I could tell that mom to go suck it! I'm so sorry she is being such a b to you. And have to agree with everyone else that she's probably intimidated by your awesomeness.
post #25 of 130

How old is your baby now?

8.5 months

 

How is feeding going? Are you introducing solids or EBF?

We are still mostly breastfeeding after trying solids multiple times and having constipation issues.  Just finished a two week break and am trying again, this time with prunes added and extra fluids.  Hopefully that will keep things moving.  We did some oatmeal with prunes this morning and she wolfed it down.  Hubby was feeding her and she was banging her table and yelling at him in between spoon fulls because he wasn't going fast enough  lol.  Hopefully she doesn't have issues this time because she really does love to eat it seems!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gillmoro View Post

How is feeding going?

We are exclusively breast feeding right now. We introduced foods a couple months back but ended up with Major constipation issues (urgent care and enemas were involved- it was awful) so I decided to hit reset for a while and try again in a couple weeks. I. Nervous about it though snide I really really really don't want a repeat of that experience. I visited our naturopath today and he gave us a new homeopathic prescription so I'm hoping that does the trick.
 

 

We had similar issues!  Minus the hospital/enema but we were getting close to that point.  Went to the doc a few times, and she always ended up pooping the day before our appt.  But she was going 4+ days and having some tummy pain so I was definitely freaking out.  I also took her to a naturopath and things have been moving again so we are trying solids again.  She put her on a low dose of the children's powdered magnesium, and we also did diluted prune juice which seemed to help.  Hope things go better for you this time around!!

 

How is sleep going?

Ok I guess.  It WAS going fantastic with her up only once per night (she's in her own crib now) and then a couple of weeks back she started doing twice a night but sleeping in a bit more.  Then the time change hit and things have been messed up ever since.  I'm not sure if thats the whole reason or if something else is going on, but she's been waking more frequently.  Doesn't seem super hungry but I offer the breast anyways as it calms her down.  Hopefully this will pass soon.

 

Question for anyone whose babies are in their own space - how do you dress them in the winter if you don't use blankets, and what temp do you keep your house at during the night?  I wonder if she's been getting a chill at night and perhaps that's why she is waking up.  She doesn't FEEL cold but I'm having a hard time figuring out how warm to dress her, etc. 

 

How about those teeth? And what's your go-to teething remedy?

 

She still has 6 teeth (four top and two bottom) that she got all within a month between 6-7 months of age.  She MAY be working on another bottom one now, but I'm having a hard time seeing in her mouth so it's hard to tell.  I thought I saw a white spot though yesterday, and she is chewing quite a bit on that side.

 

And how about walking? ... anybody have first steps yet? 

 

Nothing yet.  She is still army crawling like a champ and getting faster and faster.  She can only pull herself up halfway (so her top half is off the floor - hasn't figured out how to get her legs to help her yet) so she's not standing or anything on her own yet.

 

And how are YOU doing? Are you taking good care of yourself? Do the experienced mamas have some tips for first time moms on keeping up with active toddlers?

I am ok... feeling a little bit crappy this past week with the time change/gloomy cold weather/extra darkness and her waking up more often again.  I'm trying to keep on top of my vitamin D especially and hopefully it will pass.  I don't particularly care for this time of year - feeling cranky and blah!

 

Are you finding some community with other moms?

Not a lot.  I've tried a few times to get together with some from a mom and baby group I was in a few months back but it hasn't really gone anywhere.  I had one mom who lived close to me and we would go for walks but she's back to work part time and I'm assuming is pretty busy now.  I'm pretty reserved/introverted so it's hard for me to make friends and I haven't lived here my whole life so all of my family (except my mom who moved here and I'm so thankful for!) and close friends are on the other side of the country.  Two of my cousins had babies this year as well so I really wish I was closer to them.  They both live in the same city and I really would like to move back.  Probably not gonna happen though for a while :(

 

 

post #26 of 130

KB, it's so hard-- you want to say good riddance (I mean, you probably should!), but it still stings!

 

Okay, we definitely have 2 more teeth almost through-- the "matching" ones on the sides of the 2 middle, on the bottom.  So she more or less has 8 teeth now.

 

Jean-- I forgot to say thanks for your input on the baby gates!  I think we are going to go for a suspension gate since it's so much cheaper and we will only be here a couple more months.  Like this:

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006PB2H40/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER

post #27 of 130
Quote:
 Question for anyone whose babies are in their own space - how do you dress them in the winter if you don't use blankets, and what temp do you keep your house at during the night?  I wonder if she's been getting a chill at night and perhaps that's why she is waking up.  She doesn't FEEL cold but I'm having a hard time figuring out how warm to dress her, etc. 

(we're in new england and our entire house is heated w/ a woodstove, so by morning it is cold!)  I put on a long sleeved onesie, socks, and then a sleeper pajama.  i also have a little fleece outer coat that covers hands and feed for when it drops belove 0 degrees outside.  none of my kids stayed under blankets, so i quit on that (and they all belly sleep too, don't tell the pedi.  nah, i totally tell the pedi, i just get the crazy looks).  we keep the house between 62-72 degrees in the winter.  i have many cotton layers and a few fleece and homemade cashmere sweaters (i cut old ones up and made tiny ones for layering at night) and so far it works.  sometimes when it's colder, he does wake more, and usually ends up in our bed if he can't stay down.  but there's usually a BM and a new tooth involved with those nights!
 

KellyBeth- did you take a pregnancy test?  my hormones are INSANE at this stage, and I have been pregnant w/ a 9 month old.  it's not easy, but it wasn't as horrible as it sounds either.  my hormones just plummeted and i had my 2nd cycle, and it was a week of night sweats and then a surprise period.  whoohoo.  :flipped
and also, your neighbor?  egh.  You're amazing and persistent and awesome and if your neighbor is gonna pass up getting to know you and hang w/ you, that's not on you.  i've had a lot of similar heartbreak w/ people who SAID they wanted to be friends, but have no time.  but i'm starting to surround myself w/ single women friends who have time for me.  in fact, anyone who wants to make time and hang w/ me and mine (i never get out alone!) i will build that relationship.  i don't have everything in common w/ any of my mom friends!  but i love how we can dialog and learn from each other.  i had a great interaction w/ a local mom when out getting my baby's social security card.  so i'm hopeful there's friends to be made!  though how i'm gonna find them in the dead of winter in a college town in New England is a bit beyond me.....

WWW- my 4th was a HARD baby.  she's smart, quick, very alert and interactive and is a wonderful 2 1/2 year old now.  she never slept much.  but she wasn't 'bad' - i hated how the mom and MIL threw that designation on her.  she was needy, my only clingy/mommy-only baby, and very intense.  she's still intense!  but sometimes those hard ones just need the most loving them through it. i wouldn't trade my smart, sassy, helpful 2 year old for anything easier!   as for the food allergies- AGH! so sorry!  that's intense.  as a health counselor I've worked w/ many parents facing this, and it is always so intense and overwhelming.  praying for answers for you guys.  

post #28 of 130
Thread Starter 

HouseofPeace, oh good I'm not the only one experiencing the lady crazies. :) I feel like I'm still nursing a lot so everything should be the same... but it's not. Since slowly introducing solids I've been a downright bitch to DH about stuff I'm usually pretty chilled out about and this week I've had two migraines in a row. I had LOTS during my first trimester and then NONE since then. A blissful year of no headaches... Last night's migraine had me shaking and vomiting all night. Does this mean my cycles are going to come back??? Eeeeek! 

post #29 of 130

thank you mamas for the loving feedback. i felt pretty crappy. 

we are going family swimming this morning so i'm pretty excited! not excited about getting into a swimsuit though. more like workout tank with shelf bra and swim bottoms. because my boobs won't even fit into maternity swimsuit. !!!

ridiculous.

and i'll be keeping everyone in suspense for a bit since i can't get a test until tomorrow. i'm sure it's negative, but i feel crazy. and peeing constantly and my energy is diminishing. like first trimester diminishing. and i'm hungry but nothing appeals to me. really annoying. hope it's just hormones though. really. 

<3

post #30 of 130
I'm stoked to hear about it KB! I've already taken one test (last month) that was negative. My cycles haven't returned yet and we don't do barriers/ABC. So I'm freaking out all the time over possibly getting pregnant again. Haha. But another baby also sounds like the best thing. So we'll see smile.gif Blessings to you!
post #31 of 130
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kellybeth View Post
 

buko that's great!

 

i need a little vent. 

my neighbor and i have baby girls just 1 month apart. and i mean, she's my neighbor, so that's great, right?

well, i'm always texting her to go for walks or to moms club or story time or whatever, but she's never answered me or said oh, eva's gone down for a nap so we can't.

she's texted me a few times for walks and i'm THERE. 

anyway, yesterday i asked if she wanted to go for a walk with us and to the park, it was a beautiful day. got a oh eva's napping right now. sorry. 

 

so okay, naomi and i go for a nice walk and play at the park, swing, and get dirty and eat leaves and it's wonderful. 

walking back i hear eva's cry behind us. i turn around and she's walking with another mama and her baby.

i felt slapped.

but i didn't say anything, i just slowed my walk to let them get ahead of us.

 

i told my husband about it later, and i was trying to explain my feelings. 

i just feel like chopped liver, man.

 

i said that we have very different parenting styles. and i know that, she lets eva scream and cry until she falls asleep (i hear it from my condo!) and i've witnessed her tell eva to "stop crying!" once i told her that it sounds like she's in pain, and her big ole open mouth revealed quite a few teeth trying to cut through and i told her this. she said oh, i should be more kind, rubbed eva's head and was kind of dismissive of it.

ahhhh

i mean. it's so nice to have another mom to hang out with, even if we are different. we have babies the same age and that should mean something. but no, apparently it does not.

-chopped liver.

 

This sucks! And I can relate. I had a classic "mean girls"thing happen at our baby play group. I was so taken aback I didn't really clue in to what they were doing till I left. Also I'm starting to really get sick of hearing "I can't, that's nap time." Starting to think it's just code for "I can't be bothered."

post #32 of 130

Although, I've noticed that I've had to legitimately miss activities because things DO tend to fall during my LO's usual napping times. So maybe it's real? Like, there are a couple of playgroups that meet from 9, 9:30 am - 11:30 am and my LO still takes a morning nap. So, I can sometimes make the playgroup closer to my house- I just get there late, at like 10:30. But this really cool sounding one that's at a mom cafe thing a couple of towns over? I can never make it. It's too much to drive thirty minutes there and back during napping time. So I never go :(

 

I've also noticed a lot of stuff like babywearing groups and LLL are meeting at 7 pm... which means I also can't attend. Because Margot's dinner/tub/story/kiss/bed bam bam bam starting at about 6:30 pm. Which means I'm in there with her, because she still needs me to be RIGHT there as she sleeps. :(

 

But KB, typebug... I feel you! The mom world is tricky. So much judgment coming from all sides. And then sometimes the perception of judgment. Like, thinking that because on cloth diapers one judges everyone who doesn't. et al

post #33 of 130

I've also taken a couple of pregnancy tests in the past couple of months since AF hasn't arrived at all PP and I get these waves of panic. In fact, I'm in the middle of a test taking panic right now, though it's the strongest I've had my symptoms are so consistent with my pregnancy with the bloating, tiredness, and headaches, but especially sciatic nerve pain. I had never had nerve pain before or since pregnancy and all of a sudden it's all down my leg. I took a test a couple days back that was negative but I think I'm going to take another one tomorrow. This would have to be a serious fate baby though, to get through my frequent breastfeeding in addition to consistently taking birth control.  My brain says it's not possible but my body begs to differ.

 

With regard to the mama madness: That is some crazypants behavior! Ick. You don't want a passive twat like that as a friend anyway. I'm very sure there have to be more, better options out there for you. What you need to do is move to NS so we can be friends ;)

 

I've managed to find a coupe of people around here but the only one who's genuinely available is moving to a different province in a few months. The rest of them have flaked out or keep giving me that "yeah, I'd definitely be interested in hanging out.... you know, sometime". Sigh.

post #34 of 130
I've been lurking! smile.gif
Will try to post our update tomorrow when Miss Grabby Hands is playing on the floor.
So great to hear all of your updates, despite the difficulties in finding good mama friends.

Pregnancy tests.... Eeek!!!

Teles, I also *only* get sciatica when pregnant, never before my first one. And now I will occasionally get a twinge of it, like if I've been sitting in a weird position or after a long car drive. Or just for some unknown reason. But much shorter duration and not as painful as during pregnancy.
post #35 of 130
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by waywornwanderer View Post
 

Although, I've noticed that I've had to legitimately miss activities because things DO tend to fall during my LO's usual napping times. So maybe it's real? Like, there are a couple of playgroups that meet from 9, 9:30 am - 11:30 am and my LO still takes a morning nap. So, I can sometimes make the playgroup closer to my house- I just get there late, at like 10:30. But this really cool sounding one that's at a mom cafe thing a couple of towns over? I can never make it. It's too much to drive thirty minutes there and back during napping time. So I never go :(

 

I've also noticed a lot of stuff like babywearing groups and LLL are meeting at 7 pm... which means I also can't attend. Because Margot's dinner/tub/story/kiss/bed bam bam bam starting at about 6:30 pm. Which means I'm in there with her, because she still needs me to be RIGHT there as she sleeps. :(

 

But KB, typebug... I feel you! The mom world is tricky. So much judgment coming from all sides. And then sometimes the perception of judgment. Like, thinking that because on cloth diapers one judges everyone who doesn't. et al

 

Sigh, you're right. The nap excuses are probably legit. After the catty mom stuff I've been through lately I feel like I'm probably reading into this stuff too much. 

post #36 of 130

Good to hear from everyone again!  

 

RE pregnancy tests:

I think the average for fertility to return is 14 months for people who co-sleep and nurse on demand, even after introducing solids.  I found this to be true for DD1, then it was 16 or so months with DD2... I am expecting longer this time.  Not saying it won't happen for any of you (it will most likely happen to at least 1 of us from this group, especially those who are not taking precautions.)  I had lots of strange symptoms when my body was gearing up to ovulate.... I am actually excited about one of you getting a BFP in the next few months!  

 

DS is just moving and climbing and making me crazy!  He is so cute that I want to eat him up.  He is awake so much now.  He takes maybe 3 hours of naps in a day and then only sleeps 9 hours at night (if I am lucky).  He is so wound up all the time too.  My girls slept much more than this, but I guess he has slept so much up to this point (he was taking so many naps and sleeping the 9-10 hours at night).  

 

What is everyone doing for the babies for Christmas (or other winter celebration)?  We have just about everything we need for the kids, so he doesn't really need anything.  I want to get him something though.  Any unique, wooden or felt (or waldorfish) present ideas?

post #37 of 130

I've had 4 periods so far and am expecting another within a few days, most likely.  Maybe they're anovulatory (haven't gotten back into taking my temps consistently yet, we just use other protection), but they have been fairly regular.

 

And I cosleep, nurse on demand/through the night, didn't feed any solids until 6 months (by which time I had already had 2 or 3 periods), no pacifiers, almost no bottles, etc.  shrug.gif

 

Miss L took a step (unassisted) and the fell today, then did it again later, but I'm not quite convinced to count either as a "first step," though she fell after taking them, not during.  She is getting pretty great at standing unassisted for a while, as well standing up from the middle of the room (not pulling up on anything).  Hard to believe she couldn't really get into a SIT (which she does easily now) about a month ago.  I can definitely say she can crawl now, but I feel like I can see her little mind working, saying, "That's not how you're supposed to get around!"  Like, she will sort of regular/bear crawl a couple feet and then stand, then cruise or try to walk unassisted, then crawl a couple more feet and stand again.  Totally not efficient "crawling."  I keep wondering if she will just walk (and then run, probably) or figure out she can get really efficient at crawling instead.

 

We celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas-- Thanksgivukkah this year, woo hoo!  I bought Miss L 8 gifts, all really inexpensive, all Jewish-themed (5 are books) and we will def light the menorah.  For Christmas, I told DH we are each going to get her one gift, $25 limit.  She doesn't "need" anything, and I think my parents are going to go nuts this year, as well as my Jewish grandmother and most of my assorted family on both sides.  DH's family is...  well, I think his brothers and their families will send something thoughtful and/or expensive-ish, but his sister is into her own thing and my parents-in-law, who kind of claim to be crazy about Miss L...  well, it's just an odd family in that way.  Not that they're not gift-givers or that they're poor (they're not), but IDK...  Last month, they sent some hand-me-downs from our niece (whom they helped raise to age 5) and a new doll to us, but that was the first card/gift/anything.  I need this icon again--  shrug.gif  It's not that she needs anything, it's just... the whole thing is all weird and passive-aggressive and self-involved IMHO...  DH agrees, it's just weird.  ETA-- I thought the hand-me-downs were a lovely gesture, don't get me wrong.  Just a tad odd that they didn't send anything when she was born (I'm talking about a card!  Didn't have to spend $$!) and it took a while for them to send ANYTHING and... it's not like they have tons of grandkids or anything-- just 4 total, and Miss L the first in 4.5 years.  Just... blah.

 

If it helps and seems NFL/AP (maybe not Waldorfy)-- my gift to Miss L is going to be a Shutterfly abecedarian (just learned that word in my picture book writing class!) with all photos from her first year, all things she loves, like K for Kitty, M for Mommy, R for Rubber Ducky, etc.  I am afraid she'll tear it up (rather, I'm afraid I'll be anxious about her tearing it up, thus spoiling her fun), but getting board books printed is really expensive and they're not fab quality anyway.  I might deconstruct and laminate it or something... unless anyone has any other ideas?  But the nice thing with Shutterfly is, with coupons, I can probably get a backup book and still come up under $25.  Plus, I can always easily have it reprinted.  So that's my best idea right now.    

post #38 of 130
Thread Starter 
I made another Amazon wish list after I closed my registry that's for ongoing things he needs as well as ideas for developmental toys. I'm hoping it steers family and friends away from plastic stuff at xmas. Anyway, i have some wood pull toys, a wooden walker, blocks (timeless right? I think my brother and I used ours for almost a decade) musical percussion instruments and I'm making a long book list.
post #39 of 130

We bought M some Mega Bloks, a couple of board books and these nesting and stacking blocks, since I'm already finished my Christmas shopping (!) I figure the rest of it will probably be things like toothbrushes and socks. I don't really have contact with my family and most of DH's is in Sweden so we aren't expecting an overflow of gifts, though his mother will be coming again to stay with us for two weeks starting at the end of November.

 

I'm curious to know how every is/has been dealing with various aspects of these Holidays. We're not religious at all so we're trying to find a balance and establish some traditions that we can stick to this time of year now that we have a child to think about. We have agreed that we aren't going to have her believing in things like Santa Claus (or related, like the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc), but that we'll have to let her know that this is something that some people believe so it would be wrong and cruel to tell others that he doesn't exist if that's what they believe. I'm a little curious to know if there are any of you who have dealt with this already (especially if you have little ones in school), or how you plan to deal with it if you're planning something similar.

 

I've also decided that it's important to me that she knows how important charity is, so I'm going to choose an organization to donate to in her name every year. I'm thinking Heifer, but I'm not sure yet. I was thinking it would be nice to keep a folder with all the donation acknowledgement sheets so she can look back on them over the years so we can show her how much she's helped other people and really drive home the message of how important helping others is and how fulfilling it can be.

 

What kind of traditions are you ladies starting or using with their kids this time of year?

post #40 of 130

I really like the charity tradition, Teles.

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