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Keeping the Motivation Flame Bright through November - Page 2

post #21 of 305

Congrats RM and the-very-speedy-Dr. Jen!!!!

 

I hope Mel and Gaye are having terrific races, I can't wait to hear and see photos!!

 

jo, I think you'll do terrifically. As an amusing aside, my husband applied to grad school programs in the US based on two factors: reputation/faculty and not requiring the GRE. We don't do SATs here and many programs don't require the GRE. We tend to follow the US in some regards, but we're way "behind" on the test-mania.

 

lofty, I'm glad that seeing the counselor is helping in moving forward with things. Sometimes "getting it out there" creates a terrific momentum.

 

RR- 450m at the pool during the birthday party. I was called to supervision duties before getting in more.

 

NRR- We had one friend stay overnight after the birthday party, and the combination of late night movies (but still all kids asleep by 9:30 old time) got us "reset" for wake up around our usual 6:30, with the big girls sleeping even later. I call it a successful time change so far.

 

Big news that I've been keeping to myself for over a week while I mull on it: my husband has been short-listed for a tenure track job and goes in a month to do the interview/public lecture/lead a class. It's at the UBC Okanagan campus, in the same city where I was visiting my grandma last weekend and where my aunt and uncle live. I don't want to live there. It's the opportunity of a lifetime for him, and it's been a few angst-ridden days mulling over the possibilities. This week it was complicated by one of my colleagues suddenly announcing her retirement, which could quite likely mean me *finally* getting a regular position here. I'm sure you'll hear more about this later- it plays into all of the kinds of uncertainties we have both had about our careers and our relationship over the past few years.

post #22 of 305
Checking in for marathon results! I hope you're out celebrating your successes!
post #23 of 305
Just popping in quickly for those not on FB...those of you who are have already seen the results! orngtongue.gif

The super quick down and dirty version...this race is AMAZING. Brooklyn was one huge party. The Queensboro bridge hurt bad (mile 16) but the crowds on First Ave in Manhattan carried me for another three miles before the Bronx (and its stupid bridges) chewed me up and spit me out. I was on pace for 4:30 until mile 19! The last 10k+ was a huge struggle, but thanks to amazing crowds and pure stubbornness, I sucked it up, got 'er done, and still managed a 9 minute PR and to beat my (more realistic) 4:45 goal. Official time: 4:44:59. lol.gif

Mel38 also had a huge PR and beat her 5 hour goal! And now, time for me to hit the hay. I am way tired and sore. I have a three page (single-spaced) race report written up, but I might have to pare that down a bit before I post it here. winky.gif
post #24 of 305

Gaye, it sounds absolutely awesome! And the pics with Mel38, excellent! :joyCongrats, ladies!

 

MelW, what a uhoh3.gif. Of course I trust you will figure out what to do, and how to make life start to really feel right. You have put so much in, I would love love love to hear that you are getting something out.

 

I've decided to apply to MFA programs. For a number of reasons, both head-in-clouds and feet-on-ground. I've talked it over with dh and either I sold it well or he is just behind me. He said go for it, and is willing to finance me (of course I do feel entitled, and considering what we have spent on ILs in two years, I am really OK with it) and be supportive/understanding of my needs to make it happen. Including my relocation (with kids) to US. I am looking at fully-funded programs to begin with, and hoping that I can differentiate in a good way from the youngsters. :p Five programs don't even take GREs, two recommend but don't require, one requires it. I'm not too worried about the verbal, have downloaded a math study app, and que sera, sera. I sent requests to three contacts to beg references: my closest prof died 10 years ago, so I am going to have to work for the references, I think. I got one yes already, I am banking on a second yes, and the third is a stretch but we shall see. I have no idea how many programs to apply for. I see people doing 10-15...and I think, $1000 in application fees?! No way.

 

But now I have to bust a move to get all the writing done. Deadlines are between 15 Dec and 15 Jan. :nut So now, I am off for a walk to clear my head and start writing. I don't know what's more daunting, the sample or the personal statements.

post #25 of 305
MelW-- many, many goodvibes.gif as you navigate the relationship and career waters during the next few weeks.

tjsmama--congrats again! I'm so, so very happy that you PR'd and had an amazing race. I had my phone on just in case you wanted to berate me for sabotaging your last 20-miler. winky.gif

Mel38--congrats on your PR too!

1jooj--I would imagine that the work you've done to support your children's education will be a great asset on the GRE. A review book (or website?) will definitely help matters in terms of knowing what to expect. Your verbal skills are amazing and that also will make a great deal of difference.

geo--Did your kids wake you or did you do that on your own? I wake up before 6 only for races and early flights. Then again, the only time I tend to go to bed early is for the same reasons....

JayGee--glad it was a good hike.

RR: 8 miles here, though not until tjsmama had finished running. I figured I could probably cheer her on virtually through their website, and she was at about mile 15 when I started watching.

NRR: all sorts of thoughts are flying through my head these days, ranging from how to find my mojo to how to fit in everything I want to do, to money and career issues, and last, to my frustration with the current national dialogue regarding college majors and career choices. My girls, thankfully, are still young, but I'm chafing at the idea that I should steer both of them toward a career in math/science/medicine/engineering because that's where the money is. I'm frustrated by a society that consistently devalues the work of all but a few and frustrated even more knowing that people often do make trade-offs between their passion and their salary. And yet I sit here with my degree and lack of income, wondering if a radically different career choice would have been a good idea. (Journalism was my original goal, but that wouldn't have worked out so well either. What I really wanted to do was work for the FBI, but my eyesight wasn't good enough to meet their standards. I considered the CIA instead but it didn't seem worth it 'cause it wasn't nearly as interesting as the FBI.) Anyhow, it's just unfair and probably a pointless exercise to steer children toward any particular area because who knows if we'll be paying anyone decently in another 20 years anyhow.
post #26 of 305

Morning mamas -

Congratulations Gaye and Mel38!  This calls for some dancing produce I believe!    carrot.gifbanana.gif carrot.gifbroc1.gif   carrot.gifbanana.gifbroc1.gif carrot.gif  banana.gifbroc1.gif  ​Those brocs hear their own drummer.

 

Jo - That's exciting news!  Will you give us some hints about which schools you're looking at? (alas I suppose there aren't any attractive options in my neck of the woods).

 

MelW- Exciting and scary news for you. There's the final hurdle for dh still right?  But you feel his connections will make it happen for him?  Sending some :goodvibesfor clarity for you both.

 

RM - Congrats on your marathon finish too!  One marathon down, life picks up right where you left off right?  

 

Real - I hear you.  I could totally see you as a Agent Scully type.  

 

Lofty - I like the sound of your new planning!

 

RR: Not much, I'll be planking briefly some time today and I'm also climbing back on that wagon.  You would certainly not recognize me as a sugar-avoider if you could have seen me for the past three weeks.  It's time to straighten out my diet, my moods and my cough are likely fallout from it coming apart at the seams.

 

NRR: My dad has been here for a couple weeks helping hold things together while I've been off losing my mind.  Now he's heading home tomorrow and I feel more or less back to myself so it's just a matter of getting back on course.

post #27 of 305

So as usual I'll apologize for my self absorption. Sigh.

 

Plady, I'm sorry you've been pulled into the vortex of sadness. I have been spending way too much time there lately myself. I feel like I write here every day, "I've got to make some changes." And I do -- I just feel pulled in so many directions I don't know where to start. But losing your friend had to have been devastating, and mama, I am so very sorry for your loss -- of her in this world, and of yourself for a while. We love you. Hang in there.

 

Jo, can I once again say how absolutely awesome you are?! What a fab idea -- MFA! I'm laughing because I took the GREs in 1992 also, and I totally killed the verbal section/logic sections (perfect scores!) and totally bombed the math. Which is really gaming the test, in all honesty. Luckily it didn't keep me from grad school and I ended up in the exact right program for me (with full tuition remission and a stipend to boot!). It will work out for the best as far as which program and I have no doubt you'll also kill that test. You are so incredibly talented mama -- what a gift you will be to any program you join. And maybe with you stateside a few more months a year we might actually get to...ahem... MEET IN PERSON!

 

GAYE AND MEL38! YOU ROCK. DR JEN! YOU ROCK. RUNNINGMOMMY! YOU ROCK.

 

So proud of our Dingo sisters who put it all out there to race this past few weeks. If I missed anyone, YOU ROCK TOO!

 

So yeah, I'm probably entering the lottery for NYC again. Got. to. do. it. someday. Although my luck, no entry. Sigh.

 

Bec posted something on FB about 30 days of gratitude. I saw a post this morning also about seeing the 'flowers, not the weeds' and how the author (of the book coming out, regarding living in the moment essentially) realized she was really damaging her relationships and her family's life through her negativity. That made me feel entirely guilty, and also even more depressed. I don't know how to get out of my own vortex. Seasonal sadness, yes. But also feeling so mired in what should be trivial issues but seem so insurmountable, plus issues that are not trivial (see: ds and school; dh and me), and what feels like endless exhaustion (see: getting up at 4 a.m. to run so I can go to work full time then take care of my house full time with very little help -- see again, dh and me). And now, I am TOTALLY SICK OF MYSELF.

 

Bleh.

 

In any case, RR: 12.07 miles yesterday, speedier than usual because I was with a partner who is a lot faster than I. Next Sunday we have a half marathon race scheduled, which a) starts at noon; and b) is very hilly. Ack. Not hoping for a PR here but the second half of the race is a net downhill, so you never know.

post #28 of 305
Thread Starter 
Real - ding ding ding; yes. I hear you on all of it, except the FBI/CIA part lol.gif And yeah, I totally recognize you in that orngtongue.gif I have considered many times that I should have gone into medicine, mostly b/c I loved bio. and now am surrounded by friends who are doctors and they seem to come close to the goal of doing what you love, service, and quality of life ... although they are all cynical and burnt out by the system of medicine, and Dh says "oh yeah, I get to serve others by writing prescriptions for percocet". But, I am envious nonetheless. I think its part of the mid-life thing, the re-evaluation of past choices and cultivation of new passions, paths, and goals, combined with how this wiser, more experienced perspective can inform your children's lives. I am feeling that acutely lately as I look at middle/high schools for DD1. We have the luxury of choice, which isn't necessarily better, ya know? The 5 options all have pluses and minuses, and would all be 'fine', but it is stressful trying to imagine how each path will affect DD1's drive, sense of self, and interests. Ack! Trying to make up for one's parent's inept parenting is exhausting lol.gifredface.gif

Plady - goodvibes.gif Glad to hear you are on the mend. I have absolutely been where you describe, and it is beyond terrible, like life and those feelings are incompatible. It makes sense that you would go to such a dark place, when something so unexpected and so wrong happens. I imagine that your world view was deeply shaken and altered, and getting back to a new normal would take time and working through some brutal emotions. Screw the planking, how about some deep body-work to release all the stuff you just went through?

MelW - Sigh, that sounds really difficult, but it also sounds like its bringing to a head something that has been building for awhile? I hope this time is productive and optimistic for everyone goodvibes.gif

Geo - joy.gif on the new kitchen orngbiggrin.gif

Lofty - It sounds like you have a lot going on that I didnt know about. Im glad you have found an outlet/support in the counselor and swimming, and many goodvibes.gif transitioning through this time of change on all these fronts

Jo - az, nm, co, ut? Peace.gifwhistling.gif
post #29 of 305

Nic, I am not sick of you.

 

Whoosh. This applying is going to suck, no? Like I needed more self-doubt. Anyway, I got three yes replies for me requests, though one came with a big "are you sure you want me to?" qualification, so I am going to check with a fourth and if she says go, there I go. Working on my personal statement, and digging around in my own work. Yikes.

 

So I think I am going to back out of Arabic lessons while I work on this process. I feel $h!tty about that, but I have to draw a line.

 

sparkle, nm, az. plady, or. lofty, tx. And maybe wi and ia. I know I'm dreaming, but I really should at least try. At least the profs said yes.

post #30 of 305

I'm checking in here for the first time in ages.  Now that I am on Facebook, it seems difficult to come here as well. 

 

Anyway, in the past month, my 9.5 year old, husband and I ran a half marathon.  DD did amazing.  Such grit.  She set a pretty punishing pace.  I was expecting to come in over 3 hours, but she stuck it out and had an official time of 2:51!!  So proud of her.  Dingo in the making for sure!  Then, I went out to Arizona and helped my best friend get married.  This is a second marriage for both of them, and they bring 6 kids into the mix (2 girls of her own, and his 4 boys).  They are a regular Brady Bunch.  The ceremony was so filled with meaning, with every moment of it being about creating this family union (not just the marriage between the adults) that was so special it brought tears to my eyes.  Their whimsy and sense of humor was present throughout.  It was right before Halloween, so all the kids were welcomed to wear costumes.  There was a ghost pinata and cupcakes for them as well.  Everyone had a great time. 

 

Now, I am trying to get back on the straight and narrow food wise.  I want to get my weight down to something a bit more reasonable.  So, I'm trying something new.  I am journaling my food.  I want to get a better sense of how many calories I'm taking in.  That will help me know whether I need to be having more or less (I think I may have inadvertently put my body into a starvation mode with all the 70.3 training I did over the summer, but don't know for sure).  I'm going to try this for a month or two, and if I don't see any positive movement within that time, then I will go to the doctor and see if there is something else going on. 

 

I haven't been keeping up much here, but it looks like there are definitely some hugs and support that needs to go around. 

 

Plady, I hope that you come out of your dark spot.  I know how hard it can be to pull yourself out of that kind of place. 

Lofty - I'm glad to hear that you are seeking counseling.  If that is what releases the pressure, then do it and don't look back! 

Jo - I understand that the School of the Art Institute of Chicago is a good one (also my alma mater). :wink  Just sayin.

Nic - I can also get stuck in a negativity spiral and feel like it is impacting my relationships.  It's why I participate in these kinds of facebook affirmations.  I also am keenly effected by the weather (lack of sun).  And it is more so right now because I did spend a week in Arizona (seriously, it is just sunshine every.single.day).  So, I'm working really hard (fake it till you make it sort of thing) to try to avoid the spiral from starting.  My depression brings everyone down, and then I feel guilty and anxious about it, which only leads to more depression.  Here's the thing, though.  You don't have to dig out of a hole.  You can start from the top.  For me, even if I had a horrid day, if I can think of one positive thing, it puts a different spin on things.  Then, I start a positive spiral (usually takes me till mid-april to figure this out, though, so I'm working on doing that sooner).  And I also know that this is all VERY easy to say, and can be so monumentally hard and agonizing to do.  Just know we are here, behind you, regardless of whether you have a crappy, negative day, or are seeing everything as unicorns and rainbows. 

 

To all that raced, PR'd and generally kicked ass this past weekend, Huzzah!!!!!  You ladies never cease to inspire me!

 

RR: Whenever I finish a big race, I tend to coast after for a while, and it seems like I have to claw myself back to a good base level.  After the 70.3 this summer (and as soon as I was on antibiotics for a while to get rid of the bronchitis), I was immediately in half marathon training.  I don't have another big race until the Indy Mini, so I am having to work on staying focused.  I am happy to say, that, while my biking has slacked, I am still running 3 days a week (about 12-14 miles), swimming twice and doing strength work 1-2 days per week.  While I'm working out for 5-6 days a week, I am to a much more reasonable time.  I don't have any more 2-5 hour workouts!  1 hour is pretty much the tops for me, as I work on base conditioning through the off season.

post #31 of 305
Swim, check. In a not-good place.
post #32 of 305

Lofty. :Hug  :grouphug  :goodvibes  :blowkiss  :meditate

 

We love you mama. Hang in there.

post #33 of 305
Subbing. Way behind, but I just deleted FB from my phone. Hopefully this will serve as a more nourishing replacement.
post #34 of 305
Thread Starter 
Mel38 and Gaye - saw the pics on FB. SO beautiful. I am so proud and happy to know you orngbiggrin.gif

Lofty - grouphug.gif One day at a time
post #35 of 305
Sending tons and tons of goodvibes.gif around to my Dingos. goodvibes.gifgoodvibes.gif

I finally gathered the courage to peek at spring registration and discovered I'm scheduled for precisely 0 classes. ugh. Have emailed chair in hopes that maybe that will change. But pretty much, it looks like I need a new job. Or more likely new line of work. Seriously, who fails at being a part-time adjunct? Me throwing a tantrum about it all ---> hopmad.gif

And now, to suck it up and move on.

goodvibes.gif for us all.
post #36 of 305

Many hugs to all around.  Seems like a really challenging time for a lot of us.  :grouphug

 

RR: Boot camp this morning.  I think I'm getting a cold.  I didn't sleep well last night.  And I wore the wrong shoes today.  I should have worn my running shoes.  They aren't good for most of the boot camp things we do, but there was a lot of running today.  Bottom line is that I was wearing the old shoes that I tend to heel strike in, and because I've been so used to the Newton's and landing midfoot, these were hurting my ankle.  It got better when I consciously ran on my fore foot, but felt awkward in these shoes. 

post #37 of 305
Thread Starter 
Real (and Nic?) - I didnt read this whole thing but I thought of you both. L, maybe it is time to look further afield. You clearly have so much drive, intelligence, and knowledge about other subjects; I'm thinking public policy, sociology, or even politics. Have you looked at what it would require to change paths? Could you find something at the ground level without the academic background and work up? I have a friend with a B.A who randomly got a pt job working at the hospital disseminating diabetes policy research, decided to quit to go to law school, which led to a ft job as the assistant to the top guy, responsible for teaching their model around the world lol.gif (of course, now she's working more than her dh and they are stressed, but on the up side, she's going to Ireland for 10 days with her boss!)

Real - edited to add: this link from the article looks interesting; fellowship in musicology? ...

Lofty - goodvibes.gif
post #38 of 305

Ouch, Bec! That hurts.

 

Real, :Hughang in there mama. You are an awesome professor and mama. You will find the right thing at the right time, inshallah. 

 

Ok, I think I knew what hit me yesterday: Sunday I had my first asthma attack of the season, so I took my emergency albuterol inhaler (which makes me feel overall very yucky even if I need it to breathe), started my Advair again (the steroids of which are really not a good match for me, but again, I guess I need it during the winter), ran 12 miles, had an emotionally draining week at work, and then the time change which in the winter always hits me squarely between the eyes with SAD and anxiety. So, whew, toxic combination.

 

I went to bed last night at 8 pm and woke up at 4 to run, and so far am feeling better. Then of course ds had a terrible morning with me (he wants a DS3 for Hannukkah. I am not really willing to buy another electronic device which will create a conflict of 'when do i get to use it despite the limited schedule we agreed on' issue, plus I think electronic devices are in general bad for his behavior; when I said I have to think about it, he got pissy and then was nasty to his sister -- dd2 -- who is very sensitive and started crying, then he started crying that no one loves him, faint.gif ugh).

 

RR: 6 slow-ish miles. I am happy for my wool socks, definitely need warmer tights, and look like a total goober in my beanie hat but at least was warm there. It was 25* this morning but on the up side, I got to see the sunrise. :meditate

post #39 of 305
Many, many grouphug.gif to go around.

I am drowning in library/auction basket/swim team/DD1's grades hell. But I did manage to run 2 and walk 2 yesterday morning.

Mama needs a run... but it's not going to happy today greensad.gif.

Must go send a million e-mails, buy groceries, and clean up the cat poop my cat left for me on the garage floor last night.
post #40 of 305

RR: does running to the van from the kids' school count?  LOL  I was actually surprised that I could run sans any pain!  Woot! In flip flops no less.  :)  My marathon was a PR of 5 minutes, would have been 9 minute PR if RP didn't  poop her pants and need 2 potty stops because of it.  No joke.  Well, we were laughing about it.  My knees that had been really hurting after the 20 milers had not hurt after this marathon AT ALL.  Weird right?  But heavenly!!  The only pain I had was my thighs like I had done a million squats one day.

 

NRR: In the midst of major clean up of the house due to finding lice.  ARGH!! I can't believe it.  MAJOR EWWWW!!! So EVERYTHING is getting laundered and everything is getting swept and bleached, and replacing of things like pillows etc.  I can't even talk about it and I'm trying to stop thinking about it.

 

RP's MIL passed Monday morning so funeral is this week.  Four ortho appointments between yesterday and today to make the final decision on braces for two kids.  A teacher conference last night where teacher raved about ds2.  :) Shopping for a new vehicle because my van had some major problems on our vacation trip (thankful to have made it home safe!!!) and I'm not sure what to get or where to get it from.  Dh gave my email and phone number to tons of car dealers and they are all bombarding me and I don't know who he said what to so I've now got anxiety about all that (already don't like talking on the phone as I know some of you understand!).  I'm swamped for time that I need to go shop for the cars/vans and test drive and just look at them.  I can't just buy one online.

 

Leading bible study this week due to RP is also the coleader and I'm not done with prep work yet.  I need to grocery shop.

 

After writing all that I need a run.  :)

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