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Keeping the Motivation Flame Bright through November - Page 11

post #201 of 305
Thread Starter 
Nic - bow.gif I hope you take a moment to hear this: I think you are amazing! Every day I marvel at what you accomplish in the face of what I know is real anguish, anxiety, and lack of emotional support. I admire you so much. The fact that you are out in the cold and dark running even though you feel crummy in so many ways, and that you perform at such a high level at work, and stand up to forcibly for your kids, every day. You are awesome hug.gif

Geo - interesting about the auditory processing. I can imagine the parents who want their child tested (an eyeroll issue, but I get it). I need visual cues, have a harder time with auditory (less as an adult, and b/c I am aware of it), and I see this in DD1, who frequently glazes over when I start giving her instructions or information. It can be very frustrating
post #202 of 305
Man Sparkle, you sound so desolate, I wish I could somehow help. Just please turn to us for at least some understanding ears, if nothing else, ok?

Geo, thanks, I will ask about that! I'm not sure how much of a Mack truck is in my little yugo boy (love the analogy) but any understanding will help me to help him navigate school with self-esteem intact.

Nick - great idea!!!! I love it, so simple! I am sure that would help her! Next stop, Target!
post #203 of 305
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geofizz View Post
 

Well. clearly you said something interesting that I was going to comment on, but mdc has decided to delete it in this box. :rotflmao

Oh yeah.  Little dd was being super sloppy and bored at school.  Come to find out, she just couldn't see and so thought it was boring.  Glasses + an excellent teacher have solved that.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry View Post
Mel, on the Common App. -- as a teacher of seniors this year, the general atmosphere these days is :dizzy and faint.gif and help.gif. And this is my AP class. They are flummoxed by the bugs in the system, by the due dates, by the volume of seemingly absurd and inane essay topics, etc. etc. It might help to sit down with her (if you haven't already) with a large desk calendar (the kind with the tear off sheets and the big pad, large squares for each day) and mark in different colors (by school) what is due when -- not the final due date, but the 'submit by' date (in order for it to get where it needs to go on time). This helps the kids organize visually, which gives them more a feeling of control. Somehow the techy calendar functions don't give that needed executive functioning input. I do this with most of my students for a variety of long term projects. (And for myself)

Yes. You pretty much just described how I plan my classes.
I have my very own set of crayola markers devoted to the cause.

post #204 of 305
Thread Starter 
truedat.gif Um, I have such a thing on the wall in the kitchen. I call it my brain. Have started one on DD1's wall. Cant do the daily reminder/book thing that I would actually have to remember to look at, or the apps....
post #205 of 305
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparkletruck View Post

Nic - bow.gif I hope you take a moment to hear this: I think you are amazing! Every day I marvel at what you accomplish in the face of what I know is real anguish, anxiety, and lack of emotional support. I admire you so much. The fact that you are out in the cold and dark running even though you feel crummy in so many ways, and that you perform at such a high level at work, and stand up to forcibly for your kids, every day. You are awesome hug.gif
 

Thank you Sparkle. I hardly feel amazing. The running is a lifeline to feeling in control, and sanity. It's the one thing I have control over my body in, insomuch as I ever do -- and the fact that I am not a lot heavier than I would otherwise be plays a role too (when I hear my mother's voice in my head about how 'fattening' something is.)

 

As for work, well, thanks. :shy At the moment I really want to take a nap. My AP Euro students are working on a project and I am finishing up some grading and dreading having to come back later for 3 straight hours of parent teacher conferences. That is, I'm driving 45 mins. home so I can pick up the kids and get them settled (otherwise I wouldn't see them until after they were asleep and they would be freaked by that), then coming back here (another 45 mins. drive) then having conferences 5:30-8:50 (new parent every 10 minutes, no breaks), then driving home. After teaching all day. Yes. Tired. Need nap. :zzz  but will settle for :coffee

post #206 of 305
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickarolaberry View Post
 

As for work, well, thanks. :shy At the moment I really want to take a nap. My AP Euro students are working on a project and I am finishing up some grading and dreading having to come back later for 3 straight hours of parent teacher conferences. That is, I'm driving 45 mins. home so I can pick up the kids and get them settled (otherwise I wouldn't see them until after they were asleep and they would be freaked by that), then coming back here (another 45 mins. drive) then having conferences 5:30-8:50 (new parent every 10 minutes, no breaks), then driving home.

This is the AP of school aged kids: making that round trip to get the kids settled in. I seriously see a difference when I am home vs. when I am not home right after school. I mean once upon a time we gave up going out for beer with friends because baby needed us to be home to nurse to sleep. But this too mama, this too will pass. And I hope you have a nice podcast to listen to on the drive. Or a book on tape. 

 

Speaking of being home after school. Must get on the road.....

post #207 of 305

Sparkle, I don't think it's so much an issue of parents going out and looking for evaluations and disorders, but noticing a distinct difference in how their child is able to operate vs the expectations placed on the child.  I think APD is a bit in vogue right now.  It's gotten some popular press, and people are seeking out such diagnoses.  People who don't like the ADHD-> med implication seem to instead seek out the APD (not responsive to medication) diagnosis as somehow easier to swallow.  ADHD is statistically significantly more likely. 

 

The good news on Mack Trucks in Yugo Body kids (at least for my N=1), is that the skills needed are teachable, but recognize that they come on line after the school figures they've taught the skill and since moved on.

 

Things that were most effective:

*Oral directions: Club soccer with pro coaches who have no problems making your kid do pushups for not following directions.  Evidently there was one practice in which she did more than 100 pushups.  (she was tired, a little annoyed, and actually proud she could do that many)  We saw a dramatic increase in the skill of orienting to instructions and following them in about 2 weeks, enough so that 3 different teachers all sent me emails commenting on it, asking if we needed a medication form from the nurse.  (They each figured we'd started stimulant drugs).  This skill came online 5 years after the school thought they were done with this instruction.  Age 10.

*Organization: Daily calendar check on an ipod (advantage: Mom can add stuff/reminders from work) got us a long ways by a daily reminder of what to anticipate.  Age 9.

*Organization: IEP for organization finally, with daily instruction on using her planner for EVERYTHING - assignments, homework planning, personal life schedule.  Color coded, taught 4 years after the school thought they were done with this instruction.  Age 11.

*Self Esteem: Nearly daily, open discussion about how the brain works, what working memory is, and what reduces it (i.e., stress/anxiety affects working memory), as well as how different people develop their skills at different paces, and kids can get out of sync.  We celebrate strengths openly at home, discussed weaknesses openly at home, and frame development as a process, and individual failures are part of the learning process.  Age 7- ...

 

Read Smart But Scattered.  It's a good into on the slow development of many of these skills for a good fraction of kids, and the mismatch in school expectations to normal development.  This helped immensely in both scaffolding things at home that teachers asked us not to (because their expectations were not reasonable) and backing off and reducing our frustration with the kid. 

post #208 of 305

Also to be clear, my reading of ADHD medication is that it's an art to get the medication and dosage correct, and the role of well-managed medication is real and therapeutic when done right.  The role of medication is not as a patch or "to drug the kid into submission," but is to get the brain to pay attention long enough to learn to coping skills that are shown to be effective for ADHD.  Done right, those coping skills are taught throughout childhood and teenager-hood such that medication is not to be expected throughout adolescence.  A child that is really severely affected by ADHD runs a real risk of losing self-esteem because they are unable to trust themselves to respond appropriately in academic and social situations.  If you have enough mis-steps socially when growing up, this leads to things like anxiety and depression. 

 

We looked into in closely as we were going through each kid's diagnosis process.  In the end, DD was diagnosable, but the neuropsych said "doesn't smell like ADHD to me" and told us to come back after a year if we didn't see improvement from the LD and anxiety remediation.  For DS, he isn't diagnosable on the three axes, and yet they said "smells like ADHD."  DH, myself, the principal, and the current teacher all scratch our heads at that diagnosis, so we've go bare bones interventions in place, and a promise to re-evaluate all around if things go south this year.  So far, things are awesome. 

post #209 of 305

Geo, as always I'm impressed by your understanding of all of this. I will hand sell many copies of your book when you publish it. If you ever set up a consulting company to help people navigate these issues, I think there would be a lot of business for you!

 

Sparkle, thinking of you all of the time and how amazing and strong you are to make it through each day. Check in when you can!

 

Kerc, I love the AP for the school-aged kid. We did our connection time on the playground after school today, for which the payoff was letting me get some school work done this evening.

 

Bedtime came too soon! Thinking of you all and reading along even if I'm not posting much.

post #210 of 305

Geo, I'm with Mel. I was chatting with a mom here yesterday about ADHD, sensory stuff, etc. and she told me how she once accidentally took her kid's medicine instead of her thyroid pill, and what a good and productive day it was. Like you said, though, dosing would be an art.

 

We are having rainstorms. A whopping 18mm in 24 hours reported. :rotflmaoOf course, here that's a real thing. Streets flood. Dirty water everywhere. And of course, no roof is actually sealed, so it rains inside and out. Anyway, I canceled our AM tutoring because I didn't want to be in a cab in AM traffic with rain (seriously, tires squealing everywhere). Kids did school work, and I worked on apps, and when it cleared I went out to pick up my medical report for my new visa, and walked the 3 miles home under overcast skies, and even in sprinkles. What a treat! Got home just as the wind whipped up again.

 

So, I did get a walk yesterday and again today, but the sandstorm threw me off, and now the wet weather will keep me out of the park.

 

So, I had chickens thawing in the fridge, and I experimented with oven-fried chicken, and it was :yum. Chickpea flour, sesame seeds, flax meal and Arabic masala as the coating. Really tasty, GF but not paleo. We'll see what my intestines say about the gram flour!

 

Practiced some math with ds yesterday. That was good. I need a geometry brush-up next.

 

Thinking of you all, all the time. :blowkiss Trying not to let the melancholy of the season pull me under.

post #211 of 305
Geo - you are a wealth of information on giftedness and other associated issues. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

jooj - stay dry and sand-free! Geometry was not my favorite. I'm worried about when DS starts needing help with proofs. He had to remind me how to divide fractions the other day.

kerc - need to practice some AP with my school aged kids myself. I got a little angry this morning that they are STILL sick. Like they can help it, right.... bag.gif.

NRR - girls are still coughing, snotty, with on-and-off low grade fever. It really is the virus that never ends. So I'm home again today. I'll clean, tackle Mt. Laundry, maybe experiment with some paleo baking, and finish typing up all the inventories for the auction baskets. And pray that all the yuckiness is out of our house by tomorrow morning.

My Dad has been moved from the hospital to the rehab so they can get him walking again. Two weeks in the hospital resulted in so much muscle wasting that he can't walk without a walker. He was going to the gym 3x a week for a mile on the treadmill before all of this happened. I guess when you're 83, it really is use it or lose it. I'm glad he's in the rehab and working on getting his mobility back.

No cat still. I think he's gone greensad.gif.
post #212 of 305
Thread Starter 
JG - I was in the hospital for two weeks and afterward, I couldnt walk from my car to the front door without help. They 'made' me get out of the hospital bed every day for a walk around the floor (with my walker and oxygen tank ...); the floor was shaped in a circle. I had to stop at east 4 times to rest while walking that circle. There was a sign on the wall that read "20 laps = 1 mile". I couldnt do more than one lap, no way. Your dad is very strong. He will come back from this! I dont mean that none of it matters, just that his strength is helping him do well now (even though you cant necessarily see it)
Edited by sparkletruck - 11/21/13 at 8:03am
post #213 of 305
Sparkle - :hug I wish we could help pull you out of this battle you're in.  And that you could feel our hugs holding you in a safe place.
JayGee - I'm sorry about your kitty.  I hear you on this virus thing!  My kids are cycling through low-grade fevers and a cough that never seems to want to go away.  Our final dress rehearsal is tonight and my mom arrives for Opening Night tomorrow.  Right now both kids are still asleep upstairs and I'm sure they should both stay home all day.  Of course I have a long list of things I really need to do for the show and dh wants them to go to school no matter what - UGH.
At least I can use this unexpectedly-at-home (and not at boxing again :irked) time to do laundry and get our guest room ready for my mom.
 
post #214 of 305
Sparkletruck, We studied Ancient Roman and Greek history last year up until the Roman British history. What levels do you want? I have long list of books for both grammar and logic stages. If you don't want my long lists, I'd start with any of the books by Rosemary Sutcliffe. The audiobook versions are white-knuckle gripping. Also, Padraic Colum and Roger Lancelyn Green have written excellent stories based on mythology. For a more recent book, check out the classic, Kon-Tiki. The version with pictures is our favorite. This is the one from my childhood but I recently discovered one with great pictures that we like better.

(Sparkletruck sounds so formal. I edited it from Sparkle to see if you'd get an email that you were mentioned. I've recently started getting emails, facebook-like, if someone mentions me in a post. Which I think is cool b/c I don't want to miss a specifically-directed comment, kwim?)
post #215 of 305

I have also heard about those meds and how great they are. Apparently, many kids buy them in high school and college to help study. I am just concerned about the longer-term effects, side effects, whether it is true (proven in studies) that the children are better off having been on the medication for a period as opposed to working through it (that balance you bring up, Geo) and where on the scale the child would need to be.

 

In any case, I am really glad to hear that this year is going so well for your DS!

 

DD1's calendar is on the wall :)

DS is getting one, too, for tracking his homework focus time and reading time, but DD2 wants to make it so that could be a day or two before it's ready.

 

Thank you Geo. Sincerely, this is on my mind so much, and it both a relief to have this ongoing discussion as well as a constructive way for me to deal with it by learning more. I will look for the book on Amazon.

 

So, I now have an appointment tomorrow morning with a pediatrician who I don't even know. Apparently, the nurse practitioner who we see is not permitted to do the analysis part of this form we filled out. I am really nervous.

 

Crud, I haven't run since Monday.

post #216 of 305
All the talk about IB/AP/Dual is utterly fascinating. Taking notes. notes.gif I think our school falls into the one Geo mentioned that is dual/rural, and less AP/Suburban. Not sure what that will mean for me since we're not there.

Do you guys get annoyed if I mention a book over and over? Well, I'm almost finished reading The Spark about a mom and her autism kid. But this is not just any mom and any autistic kid. It is one of the most humbling books I've ever read. What this woman has had to deal with, health-wise, in her kids and herself is just mind-boggling. What she discovers about developing every kid's "spark" - not just autistic - is just so inspiring. Can't recommend it enough. Easy read. At your library. Just look at it. A friend of mine, an author, has submitted it for best non-fiction book of the year. And her own non-fiction book was just published this year. Honestly, this will make you grateful for every problem that you have.

JG, so so glad your dad is coming home. I hope he gets his mobility back soon. I have my fingers crossed your cat has been adopted by another loving family. That's what happened to my mine during the time we were out of town so much when my mil was sick. I finally found him happily eating food in a neighbor's yard. Quite by accident. fingersx.gif

Ds2 is enjoying school very much. I miss him but I'm also having an excellent time with my older son. I love having him all to myself and we are getting lots done, curriculum-wise. I, frustratingly, am spending the evenings teach ds2 the things he needs to transition smoothly. There are no other Texans here, right? Okay, can I just say I abhor the curriculum. In case you think it's just me and I'm being snobbish, I took a second diagnostic test to the school, all Geo-like, and approached his math teacher, not sure what kind of reaction I'd get. Good news: she loves the curriculum I've been using and is yet one more person who hates the tests given here. (She said she writes her legislators every time she gives it!) Can I say stupid w/o sounding stupid? Math is not math. It is reading, decoding, nuanced words. I hate it so much. Here's the truly bad part. Kids shut down when they see these tests which leads to thinking they don't like math. This is what I'm worried about with ds2 who, in 3 other diagnostic exams, scored 2 levels above and loves his math. But the test irked.gif I have to remember everything is just a tool in a vast toolbox of educational opportunities.

RR: super hard yoga on Tuesday night that left me shaking and still sore 2 days later. Excellent hard swim yesterday. More hot yoga tonight and both boys have their first basketball practice. I love.gif basketball.

NRR: Counseling with dh, good. Each time it feels like a little bit of tension gets let out of this giant, tension-filled balloon. Counseling solo, good.
Edited by loftmama - 11/21/13 at 10:23am
post #217 of 305
Mel38, good luck with the test and with dd's deadlines. I am following along and thinking my ds1 is like your dd, planning-wise. So I hope I remember in a few years when it's his turn. I wonder if I can give him fake deadlines that are at least a week early for all the applications. yikes.gif
post #218 of 305
Serial posting...

I just discovered there's a 5K IN MY NECK OF THE WOODS! So, Mel38, can you put me down for Milam Settler's Day 5K for this Saturday? No, I haven't run in many, many, many months. Yes, I'm just going to go out there and churn out 3.2 miles. Heck yeah, gotta support any kind of race way out here! smile.gif Fun facts: it's oldest road on the North American continent and yeah, it goes right by my house. Originally created by Native Americans, later by the King of Spain and given the name El Camino Real, it is the site of one of the oldest trading post and the first post office in Texas. It's where lots of people who came to Texas for the first time slept so lots of cool history. Anyway, you learn something new every day. So yeah, I'm going to run a 5K on North America's "first" road. (I just like the way that sounds.)
post #219 of 305
Quote:
Originally Posted by loftmama View Post

Serial posting...

I just discovered there's a 5K IN MY NECK OF THE WOODS! So, Mel38, can you put me down for Milam Settler's Day 5K for this Saturday? No, I haven't run in many, many, many months. Yes, I'm just going to go out there and churn out 3.2 miles. Heck yeah, gotta support any kind of race way out here! smile.gif Fun facts: it's oldest road on the North American continent and yeah, it goes right by my house. Originally created by Native Americans, later by the King of Spain and given the name El Camino Real, it is the site of one of the oldest trading post and the first post office in Texas. It's where lots of people who came to Texas for the first time slept so lots of cool history. Anyway, you learn something new every day. So yeah, I'm going to run a 5K on North America's "first" road. (I just like the way that sounds.)


That's awesome!!! I've got it down (the list is still in the Oct. thread bag.gif)

 

And about the fake deadlines, um, I did that! Well, DD knows those aren't the final deadlines, but they are our deadlines nonetheless. She saw the crazy look in my eye and didn't question it. demon.gif

post #220 of 305
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mel38 View Post

And about the fake deadlines, um, I did that! Well, DD knows those aren't the final deadlines, but they are our deadlines nonetheless. She saw the crazy look in my eye and didn't question it. demon.gif
lol.gif I know that crazy look!
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