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What do you all cope with "baby fever"?

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone. I am using FAM to avoid pregnancy (although breastfeeding and withdraw have been the main methods thus far) and was just curious as to what you all do when you start craving another baby? I have 4 already and we DO plan on having another one, but not any time soon. I just find myself getting anxious and craving pregnancy, even birth, and a bitty newborn. The feelings get pretty intense, often sending tears to eyes when I normally have a hard time releasing them. Is this normal? How do yous cope? 

post #2 of 15
Thread Starter 
BUMP
post #3 of 15

Well do you have a rough idea of when you want to start trying? We're waiting until 2015 so I've made a list of goals I want to accomplish by then, some personal & some family orientated. It helps keep me distracted :)

post #4 of 15
Thread Starter 

Thats a great idea. I want to try in about 5-10 years. In 5 years re-evaluate our situations and see if we should go ahead and make our baby or wait a bit more. Thanks. 

post #5 of 15
Years? Do you mean months?
post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 

No, years. I'm only 23 right now so I have that option without much risks.

post #7 of 15

Ah, yes you do. That makes total sense. 

post #8 of 15
I haven't had much luck, but some things I've tried are going to visit friends who have recently had babies (and get a memory of how hard it can be in the beginning), cuddle my girls and try to feel grateful for the "babies" I already have, clean my house (and remember how hard this is to do with a small baby), and distract myself with other things (such as my schooling). I love the idea of making a list of goals too. For me the number one would be graduating from college because I don't think I could handle it with another babe.
post #9 of 15
Thread Starter 

Thanks lactatinggirl (I love your screen name BTW :)). Friends have been hard to come by these days, for us, but that is a good idea. I do try and appreciate what I do have but then I see a perfectly round pregnant belly, or a sweet newborn and I feel like I just want that for myself again. It just makes that much more tempting when I have family on either side saying "I hope you have more babies" and "You don't need any more, 4 is enough". Sometimes I think none of them actually get it, you know. I want more children because I love the experience but at the same time I know 4 is "enough". The ones telling me enough is enough are also the ones who have very different beliefs and expectations of people than I and the ones telling me they hope we have more kids are the ones with no belief system at all. Maybe we can help each other. I should create a group. LOL 

post #10 of 15

well, writing about it here helps me! I just created a wanting but waiting thread. I have an 8 mo. It is hard, with my toddler and baby at home, but I do want to do it again. I am trying to wait at least two years but I find that it will probably be hard for me. I have an impulsive personality and I can talk myself into doing something I really want to do despite the consequences that may come--meaning, I want another child but not for a few years because having them close together has been tough, so I need to find ways to be happy with waiting and focus on doing things I enjoy while I can. Like a slim body (I finally just lost the weight) and the ability to leave home for two hours without having to think about nursing...

post #11 of 15

jtapc90- I have three boys and feel kinda like I *should* feel done...like there is an expectation that I should feel totally satisfied. And I am, but cannot deny my feeling of wanting to experience one final time. I question my desire and try to think about the benefit of another child to our family, but I am not sure if I can see clearly how another one might affect us. How is it having 4? How are they spaced? Have you found it makes a difference?

post #12 of 15
I think the only reason I'm not pregnant right now is that I have a highly effective form of birth control, an IUD, that takes conscious effort to discontinue. If we were using condoms or withdrawal, or a diaphragm or even the pill, it'd be very easy to throw caution to the wind!
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 

Its busy having 4 but completely awesome in an organized (for the most part) chaotic kind of way. Watching them play together is very amusing. They are all about 2 years apart, thanks to breastfeeding. LOL I don't know any different than the 2 years so I can't say.

 

That is the big thing for me. Everyone says we should be done; That four is a good number, enough. But this is coming from people that only had 1, sometimes 2, kids AND WANTED MORE BUT COULDN'T/DIDN'T. I was an only child. My husband is 1 of 10. My life was boring and lonely when I wasn't around other kids. I want my kids to grow up having those relationships my mother couldn't/didn't give me. My husband has no complaints about his many siblings. Why do I have to "be done" because everyone else wants that for me? Why should I care or even consider what they say? Why do I even care? Because they are family, or because some who say it aren't? IDK. I must sound like mess. LOL I'm trying to see their perspective yet they refuse to see mine. T

 

Thanks for your input. I will be subscribing to that thread! 

post #14 of 15
Seriously fighting baby fever here... I have 3 boys aged almost 5, 3, and 12 mos. My oldest is developmentally disabled and is quite a handful. I keep trying to remind myself that having another will make traveling or even getting out of the house without help difficult. And DH is in the military so deployment is always on my mind.

I already feel stretched thin trying to keep up with these boys but I can't stop thinking of another pregnancy. Another little baby. We've agreed to reevaluate in 18 mos or so, but I want my kiddos fairly close in age and we're not being super careful with birth control.

I have the same problem with my family. I always get "you have to try for a girl! But you need to wait" or "people are starting to ask me if you're Catholic, with all those kids you have, aren't you done yet?!" I'm pretty tired of people thinking they have a say in our family planning.
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 

Thank you tm0sweet! That is very similar to my situation except I don't have a husband in the military. I can only imagine how you must feel. :hug

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