turning playdate into a visit
We have a similar issue, but the problem int my in laws but my daughter. They come over to watch her and give me time to relax or do other things, but she misses me too much and Icant go far. She's just a baby though
My IL's are notorious for showing up unannounced, or we get the "oh hey, are you doing anything, mind if we stop by...ok we're right around the corner". We live 30mins away so there's really nothing in the area here that they don't have by their house. They do visit with DD, but we have issues with FIL overstepping his boundaries (he watches her during the week 5 hours day) and it's obnoxious because his reaction to my correcting him or telling him how we prefer to do things is to dig his heels in harder. It's taken 2 years and me putting up a few good fights and unfortunately lots of yelling at DH to control his parents and I always come out looking like a bitch. But you know what? It's my house, my kid, my rules. You don't like it, family or not, you don't have to come over. Unbelievably our biggest battles have been around food and DD's restrictions (no dairy, oats, soy or gluten). The oats cause her full body hives, the rest digestive issues, sleep problems, and mild skin rashes - he dared to ask me one day "well what would happen if I gave her bread?".
So while they may become defensive and wig out, that's their problem. They are adults, they need to act like it and not use you and your family/home as a getaway spot.
Sounds like my MIL, who 'invades' our house whenever she wants (is just about to for two weeks around Xmas) - brings three million inappropriate toys for LO...*says* she's mostly coming to visit with her, and spends ****-all time with her. Not only that but when asked to interact....gets bored and basically hands her back.
I work from home, and I always get the line: "Oh, when I come I'll relieve you....entertain her....let you get some work done etc." What actually happens is that we just get another mouth to feed. We have someone noisy and slightly rude in our house who doesn't respect our routine/lifestyle...and zero babysitting.
I always dread it.
Especially annoying for me because my family the exact opposite and wouldn't DREAM of showing up uninvited, and for a lengthy time. I don't hesitate to tell my family how things are....I love that we can be that honest, and my family certainly don't get hurt or offended by that honesty. My partner's family is useless like this - skirting around stuff, never being honest with each other. Letting the old lady get her own way constantly.
Anyway - good for you!! Glad you did something that worked out!