I really hope some of you who have BTDT can pass some advice along. I am tandem nursing my 26 month old and his 3 week old brother. There are moments when I love it, but they are fleeting. My problems are emotional rather than technical.
I cringe whenever DS1 asks (often whines) to nurse. I try to distract him when I really feel I can't handle it, but it usually leads to him breaking down, especially in the morning and through the night. This leads to me "caving" and feeling like I have no choice but to nurse him. Often I can't even look at him while I nurse, and I have to hold his hands because I can't stand to be touched. Today has been a real struggle for me. Each time he asks to nurse I feel like lashing out physically. I've never felt like that before. Admittedly, I'm pretty tired today so that could be having an effect.
I don't want our nursing relationship to be so negative. Today I am seriously considering weaning him, even though it's obvious he has an intense need to nurse. Other days I think I should just suck it up and wait it out, but my feelings of resent (all around) are becoming hard to handle. Sometimes I regret having another baby before he weaned, and I mourn our time alone together. I want to move past this but I don't know how. I wonder how so many women continue to nurse two, when they admittedly don't like it. How do you keep it positive and loving? Or did you make the decision to wean? How did that go? I can imagine it being a nightmare, as the tactics I'm using now are essentially a part of gradual, mama-led weaning.
I would be so grateful for any advice or shared experience you might be able to offer.
Thanks for reading,