i can't get a date....

[fyrflymommy]

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[SingleDad]

Hi fyrfly,
I can relate very well to what you're going through, and I assure you, it's not just men that will run when you say you have children. I've waited for more than one response myself from people that I finally told about the boys. All I can say is hang in there and believe me, if they freak out because you have a child, they're not the type of person you want to date in the first place. The right one will be worth waiting for. Maybe you could join a group online that all have children or something, or make sure and post on there that you do have a child, then if they email you, they already know that you do. Just some suggestions, I know it's lonely and it's hard to go through but things will get better, promise.

[fyrflymommy]

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[Dar]

I've found that the online date thing goes in spurts - one month I have 3 nice guys emailing me, and the next month nothing. I do put that I have a kid right in my profile, figuring that I'll spot a perv long before I ever leave him alone with my kid - but then, I have a big kid. I have noticed, though, that I get a lot of guys emailing me who have kids too...

Right now I'm dating a really really nice guy (and cute, too) with three kids, two boys who are older than Rain and a little girl who is younger, which I think will work out nicely. We're going for sushi tomorrow...

Dar

[mocha09]

For me, like Dar (although I've never done internet dating, or even IRL dating.....) I'd put that I have a kid up front. At least that weeds out the ones who don't want to deal wtih that. You'd have to weed out the pervs either way, kids or no kids, right?

[girlzmommy00]

All I can say is hang in there and believe me, if they freak out because you have a child, they're not the type of person you want to date in the first place.

I must agree, anyone who isn't okay with dating a mom, isn't worth the time anyway. I also agree that it's hard to meet someone. I definately find that mentioning that I have 3 children is a real conversation ender. I have to remind myself that anyone with that reaction isn't worth the effort anyway.

For those of you who have met people online, where do you go online?

[wemoon]

Ok, I know I posted here...but I think something wonky happened with MDC and it got lost in cyberspace!

I have in my personals ad that I have kids and they are most important to me. If a person can't accept that I won't even chat with them. Most of the people that have contacted me are single dads or they want kids and family life.

I also had posted that one thing that can happen on the yahoo personals is that as new people put in their profiles yours keeps getting pushed down, until it ends up on page 20 or something, yk? So one way you can get your profile back on top is to make your profile private and then open up to the public again. I don't know if it has to be private for a certain amount of time or what, but I had my profile private for 3 weeks and then made it public and it was on top of the list (you can check where your profile is by pretending you are a male seeking a female in your area).

Good luck hon! There are LOTS of people on the personals, and lots that are good men.

[magnoliablue]

I met my bf on a site for parents. It was great because you knew right up front that the person you were talking to either had kids themselves, or figured you did. I was only there for a couple days when I met him. I have a gf who also met a great guy on that site. Try going to a site like that. You can write an in depth profile that spells out exactly what you are looking for..as well as what you are NOT looking for. Good luck,mama and hang in there!

[boomingranny]

I'd like to start this online dating thing. Which site do you like?

[magnoliablue]

OK, I cannot vouch for every guy there being a winner, I am sure there are plenty of wingnuts, but the site I met my bf at was
singleparentmeet.com

He read my profile and emailed me, I read his and was equally blown away, we talked on IM for a week or two and then met at a restaurant. We have been together ever since.

My gf met her bf on the same site..so far they are very happy.

When you do your profile, be as honest as you feel comfortable, and say exactly what you are looking for, and accept no less. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want and not settling. Too many people settle and that explains the divorce rate being what it is.

Take your time and do not let a few unsuccessful shots at this make you jaded..I believe there are great men out there..I found one. Peace!

[Patchy Dragon]

Originally Posted by mocha09

For me, like Dar (although I've never done internet dating, or even IRL dating.....) I'd put that I have a kid up front. At least that weeds out the ones who don't want to deal wtih that. You'd have to weed out the pervs either way, kids or no kids, right?

This is how I met my boyfriend and he appreciated the fact I did not try to hide the fact I was happy being a mother.

You get pervs either way so why not be upfront and honest to begin with. Put what you want and don't want in your profile. I know mine was rather BLUNT and I was overwhelmed with responses.

[Holland73]

I agree with everyone. Be honest and write in your profile that you do have children, there are men that would rather not "bother" with a single mommy, which they have every right, but weed them out in the beginning!

Also, as Wemoon says, keep your profile at the top of the pile.

All the men that have contacted me, or vice versa, have all been wonderful about my single mommy status. Most of them are single men and are wanted a family.

I tried, a few years ago, www.match.com It was pretty good. Now, since I live in Holland, I have to stick with Dutch websites, which makes my pickings even slimmer as they HAVE to speak English with me! But, I have a first date on Saturday with a guy that is very accepting of single mommy status and doesn't mind speaking and writing in English!

Good luck and be safe!!!

[isleta]

I have not tried internet dating yet either, but i can't get a date IRL!!! So, I understand your frustration! I agree that the right one will come along, and if it takes awhile it's a great time to get to know yourself and try yoga! One element of yoga is abstience(sex) -I am soooo there:LOL