I totally understand this!! Just about 2 months ago i decided to form a routine, for a couple of reasons, but i have felt much happier and in control of my days since then. My main reason for starting a routine was because i felt like my house was out of control, and i couldn't get a handle on it.
I came accross a website called flylady.net, and i started the "babysteps." So now my routine: i wake up when my partner gets ready for work @7:30, if my youngest (6 months) is awake i change him and bring him with me, if he's still asleep, I let him sleep & enjoy the moments to myself. I start some water for tea, start breakfast, and empty the dishwasher (my goal is to go to bed with a clean sink each night so i don't have to play catch up the next morning.)
Then my 2.5 year old is usually up, and we eat breakfast. I then flip the laundry and start a new load, and do a couple other cleaning tasks in the rooms. depending on the day i either meal plan, or start working on dinner if it has a time consuming element (making bread, soaking beans...)
Usually around 10 my 2.5 year old asks to watch a show, which i try to limit to just one a day- my goal is to have only 1 a week.... but i'm not there yet. during that time i take a break and do something I want... search the web or read a magazine for about 15 mins.
If i have an errand to run, I have to do it before lunch, or usually i feel too out of control if i don't have ample time at home before i start dinner.
I have to remind myself to play with my kids. This is sad to me but i'm working on it. I usually set the timer so that I can give them undivided attention for a certain period of time, without thinking about what i have to do next.
lunch around 12:00, then nap time for my oldest around 1:00. he wakes up between 2:00-3:00.
the afternoon goes by quick and then i start dinner at 5:00. we eat around 6:00, when my partner get home. then bedtime for my oldest is around 7:30-8:00 ish. after he is in bed i clean the kitchen and spend some time with my honey.
I totally don't have it under control yet. But i'm a work-in-progess. My words to live by right now are "Be flexible. Unexpected things WILL happen." That way when my son breaks a dish or spills his food all over the floor, or my 6 month old wants to nurse every 20 minutes, and it takes me away from what i am trying to accomplish, I can relax and just adjust to the day.
Routine has helped me more than i thought it could.
Good luck finding your own rhythm!