My older daughter is in middle school now and I don't know what rules they have because very few people there bring lunch - most including my daughter get hot lunch, but the elementary school she was going to had a lot of nut and peanut allergies but didn't ban anything. According to a newsletter, they said they felt that it might make kids with allergies relax thinking that nuts were banned so everything was safe, but because there were too many kids to really trust that everyone was going to be conscious and careful and not bring anything with nuts, it was better to allow them and make sure kids with allergies remained on alert as far as snacks, birthday treats, etc. go. They have nut free tables at the cafeteria and those they do monitor very very carefully. They said they'd rather have only areas actually within their control be called "nut free." They can't control the whole school so they don't claim it is nut free or attempt to make it be nut free.
I don't know what the best method is. I have gone back and forth on this. I'm fine with not bringing anything related to nuts, though my younger one is picky and one of the few healthy/proteiny things I can pack that won't go bad and she'll eat is nuts. But I am managing to not send anything with nuts so it's working OK, and I'd rather have the inconvenience then risk anyone having an allergic reaction due to her lunch.
I don't know if the school that allows nuts is just claiming it's safer to allow them and remain on alert and control those areas they can, or if that was just an excuse to allow nuts. I can see both potentials there.
What do your kids' schools do? What do you think is the best way to handle nuts and peanuts when it's such a common and dangerous allergy?