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Surviving with little to no sleep - Page 3

post #41 of 55
There was a stretch when DD was some months old... I can't remember how old, where I did change her diaper when she woke because it was so full. I'd do it just before nursing her back to sleep in case it was over stimulating. That lasted a few months.
post #42 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by delightedbutterfly View Post
 

I agree wholeheartedly Viola and reading through the thread I think CIO was used in places where posters simply meant that their child has a small fussy period before they fall asleep. I think sometimes we use words sometimes that don't mean what we are meaning because they often will mean different things to different people. And with the constraints of online forums we aren't able to read body language or tone or sometimes ask for immediate clarification to get the whole picture. I have ever belief that there was just some miscommunication going on as I read it a different way that others :)

It's been my experience that for *some* babies a few minutes of fussing is their way of self soothing and it's entirely respectful to allow them this time. My first needed a few minutes to fuss or cry before she would sleep. And *I* was interfering with this for some time because I don't believe in CIO and didn't realize that there was a huge difference between actually doing a CIO method and listening to your babies cues and allowing them to self soothe in their own way. For a few months my first would cry and fuss and I could tell she was tired and I'd try and nurse her down to sleep and when she hit the bed she'd stir a bit and start to fuss. It never lasted more than ten minutes and if I was there it was worse, and we'd just keep doing the same pattern over and over. Nurse, put down, fuss, pick up, nurse, put down, fuss, pick up. I was not one who could cosleep and I need sleep to physically do ok. But it took me a while but eventually I realized that her fussing was just her way of self soothing. She wasn't CIO at all but she needed that period for whatever reason. After her fussy period she was a great sleeper. My youngest on the other hand was the exact opposite. She would nurse to sleep and when she was older she would just put herself to sleep, however my youngest also took a soother from about 4 months onward as she had a strong need to suck but refused to pacify at the breast like my oldest and so I think this helped her soother in that way. Responding to your individual child's needs and recognizing them for their individual needs is also a very strong focus of attached parenting. 

 

I have to echo you here: the main tenet of attachment is 'attunement,' reading your child's cues! It is never one size fits all. Each child is unique and solutions that worked for one child may not work for another. 

post #43 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post

I have to echo you here: the main tenet of attachment is 'attunement,' reading your child's cues! It is never one size fits all. Each child is unique and solutions that worked for one child may not work for another. 
It is so refreshing to hear one say that because sometimes I feel that others who practice attachment parenting think it's so set in stone and if you are not following every aspect you must not be a gentle mother!!
post #44 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post
 

 

I have to echo you here: the main tenet of attachment is 'attunement,' reading your child's cues! It is never one size fits all. Each child is unique and solutions that worked for one child may not work for another. 


Where is "attunement" if the child cries for his mama, and she puts the baby down?

post #45 of 55

Mama's needs count too. Parenting doesn't mean that the child will be happy all the time (I have held a child as they cried and cried, because there was nothing I could do (feeding, breastfeeding, changing diapers, playing, singing, snuggling) to stop the crying.). And sometimes what the child wants (to stay up and play all day) isn't what they need (no, it's bedtime. I'll snuggle with you, I'll read to you, but it's time for sleeping, not going to the park). And sometimes a parent needs to take a break/sleep/eat/pee/go to work. And an attuned parent can make these decisions. An attuned parent responds to their child and their child's needs. They are not their child's slave.

post #46 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by rinap View Post

Mama's needs count too. Parenting doesn't mean that the child will be happy all the time (I have held a child as they cried and cried, because there was nothing I could do (feeding, breastfeeding, changing diapers, playing, singing, snuggling) to stop the crying.). And sometimes what the child wants (to stay up and play all day) isn't what they need (no, it's bedtime. I'll snuggle with you, I'll read to you, but it's time for sleeping, not going to the park). And sometimes a parent needs to take a break/sleep/eat/pee/go to work. And an attuned parent can make these decisions. An attuned parent responds to their child and their child's needs. They are not their child's slave.
Well said!! I think we put way too much guilt on ourselves sometimes or others put the guilt in us and I agree that sometimes I feel like my kids servant and that should not always be the case. (With older kids at least)
post #47 of 55
Definitely agree with you PP, as you are talking about children. Not a 4 month old baby who needs help to fall asleep.
post #48 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by transylvania_mom View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post

 

I have to echo you here: the main tenet of attachment is 'attunement,' reading your child's cues! It is never one size fits all. Each child is unique and solutions that worked for one child may not work for another. 


Where is "attunement" if the child cries for his mama, and she puts the baby down?
For me (please read my previous post) my oldest child wasn't crying for me. When I wrongly assumed she was it made things worse.

When I finally realized that she needed a small short cry before sleeping as *her* self soothing method, I was finally listening and being attuned to my baby. Before that I was picking her up when crying at night thinking she needed something (me, food, diaper change, cuddle...) when she didn't.
post #49 of 55

it always seemed that whenever we would start to get used to some kind of consistent sleep schedule a developmental leap or teething or something would throw a wrench in it. hang in there Mama! As you have experienced so far, some things that may have worked a few weeks ago, don't anymore and so on. for us we were always trying new approaches because something would work for a while and then not. I think that is just part of parenting the first few years especially, when there is so much growth and change for our little ones. there's no one trick that will work every time for everyone. but I def feel ya, I remember thinking well if I don't start using the right approach now, will I make them a bad sleeper or make it harder in general later? Just go with your gut and see what works for you and your baby.

post #50 of 55

I don't know if the original poster is still sleeping badly, but I'm sure other people who are reading this thread are. When my first was 4 months old, we weren't even getting 2-3 hour stretches. We were at 45 minutes tops.

 

My strategies for surviving with little to no sleep were/are: venting, cultivating a sense of humor about it, coffee, sci-fi television shows, and cookies. One I wish I would have tried more often is sleeping when my baby was napping, instead of researching baby sleep. What a waste of time! I could have been sleeping . . . or eating more cookies.

post #51 of 55

90 minute baby sleep program  by polly moore phD - get it!

post #52 of 55

Love them cookies! Nom, nom, nom!

post #53 of 55

Seriously, check out my thread on sleep issues, if your infant seems anything remotely like my little one it might be GERD.

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1398726/sleep-issues-you-might-want-to-read-this

post #54 of 55

I appreciate this thread! My partner and I have a 4 month old girl and twin Kindergarteners (yes, full house!). We are just starting to put her down for naps and bed without being swaddled, as it was recommended we might want to stop the swaddling. I find the most luck with putting her on her side and gently having a hand on her to provide some stability and gentle rocking. I then slowly remove myself. However, we are still nursing/holding/bouncing to get her to sleep. I just think she's too young to lay her down and have her fall asleep on her own. I'm going to keep reading through the thread, as the sleep loss is taking a toll in our home as well! She wakes a few times between 7:30p-7:30a and takes 3-4 short little naps during the day….would love to figure out a plan to be consistent so she can become a good sleeper!

post #55 of 55

This gives me hope! Tonight will be day 7 of the Pantley method for my 8 month old.  I'm so exhausted. DD had a 4.5 hour stretch last night, but she's still consistent with 2.5-3 hour stretches for the other intervals for now.

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