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Breast obsessed six year old?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

I could use a little perspective from like-minded mamas here in a relatively safe place. :) This background will probably seem disjointed, but I'm just trying to cover the bases!


My six year old has always been a really high needs kid. She was diagnosed with a minor sensory disorder when she was about two and has just generally been what I call a high impact kid. :) Trouble sleeping, very emotionally in touch with what happens around her, needs a lot of attention etc. My ex and I co-parent extremely well, we both see her every day, and we've figured out ways to parent her effectively and peacefully while meeting her needs and ours. I'm really proud of the way we work as a family.


We had trouble nursing when she was first born, and when she was one week old and then again when she was one month old, I was hospitalized (one night each instance) for severe mastitis- temperature of a 107, the whole nine yards. It ended up that the breast that was affected both times just didn't really provide a good milk supply and had some ductal issues, so my dd sort of weaned herself down to my other breast and I let the troublesome one dry up. I'm leaving out a host of other methods and remedies etc, but the key thing here is that she eventually ended up nursing from one breast and we really had a battle to keep breastfeeding for a while there.


She nursed on that one breast exclusively for about eighteen months. She did fine- at one year, the girl who was born at 6lbs 1oz (two weeks overdue, even!) weighed 35 pounds. :lol We tried food (using CLW) here and there, but it was more recreation than anything. Even when she made the leap to mostly solids at around 18 months, she still nursed QUITE a bit. Probably every hour during the day and maybe four or five times per night. I nightweaned her (pretty peacefully, actually) around two years and then we weaned (at my instigation) fully at 2.5 years. She did fine with it and the process really wasn't bad at all. There were very few tears.


So since then, and especially in the last few years, she has been OBSESSED with my right breast- the one that she nursed from after the other one had issues. If I'm naked, she runs up and squeezes it or buries her face in it and reverently calls it her milky. I wake up and she's got her hands down my shirt caressing it. She talks at great length about how that milky is her favorite because it's softer and squishier than the other one.She tries to nurse. You name it, she does it. When she does, I just calmly say, "Please don't touch my milkies, honey"and she usually stops without a fuss.


Since she turned five, I've pretty much stopped showering and bathing with her, and it's not that I parade around naked, but I'm a single mom and I have to take a shower and get dressed occasionally. :) I'm honestly not even that BOTHERED by the whole situation and I don't think it's a sexual thing at all, but I'm just trying to figure out if this is something that kids who were weaned later do, or what exactly is going on. I think I could just use some feedback here about what's "normal" and what's not, if I should be discouraging this behavior more actively even though I'm certainly not encouraging it, and I think I could just use a little perspective. :)

post #2 of 5

Sounds like you're uncomfortable with it, so discourage it as much as it takes. You're allowed to set boundaries whereever you're comfortable. I have boys so the dynamic is different, but by age 3 or 4 they give me personal space and ignore the breasts.

post #3 of 5
Thread Starter 

Thank you so much for the feedback! I think it's more that I feel like I should be uncomfortable, if that makes sense. That and I still, having weaned nearly four years ago now, don't like people touching my breasts. :P

post #4 of 5

Of course you're allowed to set boundaries! Don't feel bad about it. I've set boundaries with things that have made me uncomfortable with 6 month old babies. Mainly I hate "the other one" being touched while I' nursing. I never let my kids "twiddle" the other nipple, it just squicked me out. So, I would gently remove their little hands and say, "Please don't play with the other one." Then hand them a soft toy to play with. I used nursing beads and gentle reminders and it was never a problem. By a year old, all my children (most of whom nursed for years) had no desire to touch the other one for any reason, unless they were just resting their chubby little hand on it.


Only one of mine seemed interested in my breasts after she weaned. My oldest was 26 months when her sister was born, and she had weaned near the beginning of my pregnancy and never gave my breasts a second thought. For a few weeks after her sister was born, she was really interested in breasts and breastfeeding, but I really didn't want to start nursing a happily weaned child again (although my other children all nursed longer than this, my oldest was always my most independent child) so I simply told her that my milk was for the baby and always had yummy snacks and drinks on hand.


It's OK to tell your DD you aren't comfortable with the "milky" obsession. I'd keep them out of sight as much as possible, she doesn't really need to see you naked at 6 if you aren't comfortable with it, and it may be time to talk about "privacy" and how our bodies are are own etc. It could be a good teaching moment for your little DD! I think instinct often tells us when it's time we need more privacy and I always listen to my instinct on these things. Lots of attention for your little girl while doing other things not breast related would be really helpful.

Good luck. :)

post #5 of 5

My not yet weaned 4 year old is very attached to my breasts, and it is a constant battle to set boundaries over acceptable touch when not nursing. So I feel for you. But I think it is within the realm of normal for children who are weaned later, especially very enthusiastic nursers -- my daughter would still nurse 4-5 times a day if I let her, but I restrict it to once in the morning and once at night.

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