DS, 14, has significant depression and anxiety issues, plus ADD. All of this shows up much more at school than at home. He really dislikes school and is very anxious about it. Which I understand. He's not doing at all well this year, which I also understand. He missed almost a month in October due to hospitalization/partial hospitalization program for rage episodes/depression. He's been sitting in the VP's office all day begging to come home because of being stressed. But if I bring him home today, I'm very afraid that he wont' be able to get through tomorrow and so forth. Plus every day he is out of class he falls further behind, making this a very vicious cycle. He had a test today and an oral presentation, both of which I don't think he was ready for and I'm sure that is making this worse AND making him want to leave school more. It's emotionally draining to sit here and respond to texts every few minutes with encouragement and reassurance that he is stronger than he thinks and he can manage this.
I can't homeschool because he's not safe at home alone and I need to work FT. Besides, he won't do his homework for his teachers and any time I try to coach him on anything it ends up with his exploding or melting down and I simply cannot face that each day without melting down myself. The district does not have any charter schools. Private schools trap us in the "too much money for financial aid / too little to afford tuition", and I'm not even sure there are any that would suit him anyway.
I feel trapped, emotionally and physically exhausted, guilty that I can't deal with this better, angry at him for making me feel this way and then guilty about that...
So thank you for listening and I guess I'd better at least try to get something done at the office today.