Ooooh its hard! I really love pregnancy and newborns. It will be really hard for me to give up being in this stage of life and move on from it. I remember when I had my first and I'd have things like a nice baby carrier, modern cloth diapers, or any other current baby item "fad", and moms of older kids/teens/grown children might make comments like, "wow, isn't that neat. Wish I had something like that when I was having babies" and I felt really glad that i was having my babies right then.. and that I had years and years of baby making ahead of me :) Its hard to imagine being on the other side. In 5 years am I going to look at friends and all their baby items, innovative new car seat designs, etc and think, "I wish I could be having a baby right now with all these new things.." Eh, that makes me sound materialistic, but its not really that! I am, most definitely, a "baby person" A tiny snuggly newborn is my favorite stage. Its so hard to imagine that this could be the last time I'm going to be pregnant, that I only get one more chance to have a wet, squawling newborn placed on my chest. But yet.. when we do fun family activities, sometimes I do feel held back by the younger kids. Like if we're at a water park, one parent will always be stuck in the kiddy section with the toddler while the other gets to have fun on the big slides with the oldest. And I always think, "this will be so much fun with preteens/teens! I can't wait!" and it does make me want to move on from the baby stage. And to be completely honest, I find parenting a 3yo to be a special kind of traumatic. I think my 4yo is toning down a little bit... make no mistake, I still have no idea what to do with him most the time, argh!! But there would be times especially when he was around 3.5 and at the peak of awful, and I'd think "I have to get through this.. and then ds2 hasn't even entered the terrible stage yet but he will and it will suck and I have to get through that.. and then I know I'm going to have another and that baby will go through this stage!" the thought is enough to make me want to curl up in a corner in the fetal position! So really, part of me wants to be done just because the sooner I'm "done" the sooner all my kids will be older than 3! I am dying for another girl though. If this one is a boy, I'll probably be temped to try again. And neither of us are planning anything permanent. I just have a really uncomfortable feeling about it. And I also do not want to use hormonal birth control. And.. I'm only 27! I figure I have at least another 15 years of fertility left during which another one could sneak up on me.
Anyway, I'm really torn about the whole being done thing. It feels like the logical choice. But if neither of us are going to do anything surgical about it, and I'm not willing to do anything hormonal about it, and I have close to two decades during which an "oops" could occur, or I could just willfully succumb to a bout of baby fever.. whew. Kinda scary to think about!