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Mothering › Groups › July 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › anyone certain this will be their last baby?

anyone certain this will be their last baby?

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 

and how are you feeling about that?

 

we hadn't planned on a third, so this will for sure be our last.  will definitely be savoring this pregnancy.  not to say i didn't the first two -- i really enjoyed being pregnant.  i just hate that as time goes on it's harder and harder to remember what it was like and what it felt like, which is odd because when you're in it, it is all consuming.    

post #2 of 26

I cannot say for sure because we thought we were done after one (DH's choice)...but here we are on round 2.  My husband is not a fan of the V and I am not a fan of birth control.  We got pregnant using the pull out method and we are pretty good at it (or 7 years of sheer chance) .  So, long story short, we don't expect to have more children after this one, but I am not sure how we will prevent it.

 

That being said, I am definitely savoring this pregnancy as well.  I didn't think I would get to do it again, so I feel blessed...and at the same time I am sick with anxiety about losing this baby because we probably wouldn't try again.  I feel the same way about wanting to hold on to the feelings and sensations of pregnancy.  I am thinking that maybe it is a good time to start journaling. I kept a journal with my 1st pregnancy, but I had such a tumultuous pregnancy that it is such an emotional roller-coaster to go back and read through it.  I would like to do it again and hopefully capture the feelings and emotions of a more normal pregnancy.  Thanks for the reminder to savor it!

post #3 of 26

Yes, we are not planning any more. We weren't sure we would go for a third. I am so glad that we are, but don't think we will be able to have any more. We are already going to be pushing the limits of our house, time and money. I totally agree with everything you said, @samstress about savoring this pregnancy. 

post #4 of 26

We are so done. We thought we were done at three, but surprise! :)

 

I will be soaking in every little kick! And when this baby comes earthside, watch out! I will be cuddling that little squish 24/7. :)

post #5 of 26
This is my 2nd marriage..I was content with the 3 I had. When I started dating dh, he told me he wanted 2 kids and asked me then if I was open to it. I thought it was so strange! We were brand new. So yes this2nd baby with him will definitely be my last. He's getting a V, we made a deal.
post #6 of 26

This will probably be our last one.  My husband is a bit older and while we would be fine if it happened, I don't think we will actively try again.  I always wanted three, but I didn't think I was going to be well into my thirties before I had my first.  Like you've said, I am trying to savor every moment :)

post #7 of 26

I didn't even think a second was a possibility, and, given my age, my DP and I have agreed that this is probably going to be our last (first bio for him).

 

My memory is not good, which makes me sad, because I know how much I forget.  But, I never seem to find energy for journaling, and by the time I sit down to write, I have forgotten most of what I would have wanted to say.

 

This baby is such a blessing, though, and I am so glad to be giving a sibling to my DS.

post #8 of 26

This is my last. I was very content with my three, but I wasn't opposed when my fiancé wanted us to have one together. He loves my kids but he really wanted his own as well. I actually don't like being pregnant because I am so sick the first four months. I was hoping it would be easier since I am so much healthier than when I had my others, but alas, no. I am looking forward to holding my new little one, but I do not want another one. It is actually strange for me since I was supposed to have a hysterectomy for adenomyosis in June 2012 before I met my fiancé. There was so much red tape trying to get insurance and the hospital to work together that I gave up and cancelled the surgery. At that time my GYN told me my only other option was to go on birth control to halt the progression of the disease to try and salvage what fertility I may have left. I am ethically opposed to birth control so I declined, and controlled my symptoms with my diet. I guess my fertility was better than she expected because it only took 5 months of not-trying-but-not-trying-not-to to get pregnant.

post #9 of 26
If everything goes well, this is it for us. We had gone back and forth about 3 or 4, but I can't imagine getting through a set of twins with a toddler and deciding to go for another one. Especially since our house is tiny--there's already no place to put three kids, so four would be nuts. I also really like the idea of not having middle kids or a youngest. Everyone we've talked to about being the third kid seemed to be kind of negative about being the baby, so maybe having two of them will lessen that feeling somewhat.
post #10 of 26
If all goes well with this pregnancy, this will be my last baby, too. After this, we will use birth control, which we've never done. I have trouble getting pregnant, so we've never really seen the need, but we want to avoid any surprises.
post #11 of 26
Yes this would be my last as well. I am a bit sad because I wish I was younger and we would have more. I would love a housefull....kids are the best. They can drive you completely bonkers, but like anything in life- the trials and hardships just make you appreciate all that you have invested. Plus when I hear my children giggling or having fun, my heart smiles. Or when DD makes a good grade and is proud of herself, my heart bursts. They are such blessings....the good with the bad.

I am trying to savor this pregnancy....deep down wishing for twins or hoping I would maybe get pregnant again when I am 40-41 and have a healthy baby! My DH's family would flip but he is like me...he loves children.
post #12 of 26

Ooooh its hard! I really love pregnancy and newborns. It will be really hard for me to give up being in this stage of life and move on from it. I remember when I had my first and I'd have things like a nice baby carrier, modern cloth diapers, or any other current baby item "fad", and moms of older kids/teens/grown children might make comments like, "wow, isn't that neat. Wish I had something like that when I was having babies" and I felt really glad that i was having my babies right then.. and that I had years and years of baby making ahead of me :) Its hard to imagine being on the other side. In 5 years am I going to look at friends and all their baby items, innovative new car seat designs, etc and think, "I wish I could be having a baby right now with all these new things.." Eh, that makes me sound materialistic, but its not really that! I am, most definitely, a "baby person" A tiny snuggly newborn is my favorite stage. Its so hard to imagine that this could be the last time I'm going to be pregnant, that I only get one more chance to have a wet, squawling newborn placed on my chest. But yet.. when we do fun family activities, sometimes I do feel held back by the younger kids. Like if we're at a water park, one parent will always be stuck in the kiddy section with the toddler while the other gets to have fun on the big slides with the oldest. And I always think, "this will be so much fun with preteens/teens! I can't wait!" and it does make me want to move on from the baby stage. And to be completely honest, I find parenting a 3yo to be a special kind of traumatic. I think my 4yo is toning down a little bit... make no mistake, I still have no idea what to do with him most the time, argh!! But there would be times especially when he was around 3.5 and at the peak of awful, and I'd think "I have to get through this.. and then ds2 hasn't even entered the terrible stage yet but he will and it will suck and I have to get through that.. and then I know I'm going to have another and that baby will go through this stage!" the thought is enough to make me want to curl up in a corner in the fetal position! So really, part of me wants to be done just because the sooner I'm "done" the sooner all my kids will be older than 3! I am dying for another girl though. If this one is a boy, I'll probably be temped to try again. And neither of us are planning anything permanent. I just have a really uncomfortable feeling about it. And I also do not want to use hormonal birth control. And.. I'm only 27! I figure I have at least another 15 years of fertility left during which another one could sneak up on me.

 

Anyway, I'm really torn about the whole being done thing. It feels like the logical choice. But if neither of us are going to do anything surgical about it, and I'm not willing to do anything hormonal about it, and I have close to two decades during which an "oops" could occur, or I could just willfully succumb to a bout of baby fever.. whew. Kinda scary to think about!

post #13 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by turtlemamameg View Post
 

 I didn't think I would get to do it again, so I feel blessed...and at the same time I am sick with anxiety about losing this baby because we probably wouldn't try again.

 

exactly!  

post #14 of 26

I really hope this is our last. but who knows. This will be our sixth child!

post #15 of 26
LilStar- WOW!! I totally see what you mean. But at 27 you have many years ahead of you!!!! That is really cool though. I wish I had my kids younger. If I was 27 there is no way I would survive another 15 or so years of fertility without another bub!!
post #16 of 26

If all goes well, this will be my last. DH didn't want a second, but agreed for my sake. I really want 2 children and the opportunity to give my son a sibling. I'm hoping to enjoy this pregnancy and baby more than the first (postpartum depression) but in case I don't, I am just looking forward to getting this stage of my life over with. I prefer the toddler/preschooler stage to the pregnancy (worries, especially after 2 miscarriages) and infant stage.

post #17 of 26

This is likely our last. Its a pretty hard pill for me to swallow since im only 24 and always wanted a big family. DH already had two children when we married and was content but we agreed for atleast 1 together, maybe 2. Our first together is only 10 months and we werent planning on #2 any time soon. I cant say for sure we wont have anymore but finances sure arent cooperating :(

post #18 of 26

This is likely my last pregnancy.  DH and I always said at least 2, no more than 4.  Here I sit pregnant with #4.  He's already suggested a vasectomy during the pregnancy, which I nixed for now.  This was a surprise pregnancy with DD3 only 13months old, after every other pregnancy was achieved with fertility treatment, so suddenly we're both thinking about prevention in the future.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around actually being pregnant.  I hope I can get to a point of fully recognizing that this is my last go round and trying to focus and savor. 

post #19 of 26

Definitely my last! A third was not in our plans, and pregnancy feels so overwhelming to me! The tiredness, nonstop sickness, and the out of control feeling of not being in possession of my body is really hard on me. DH and I are happy for a third because another sibling for our 2 boys is a wonderful thing, but getting through this pregnancy will be challenging! Every time I deal with some sickness, weakness, or can't seem to get up, I just remind myself that in 7 months I will have a sweet, delicious baby to cuddle!!!

post #20 of 26

Not sure. I thought I was done at 2, swore up and down 2 kids was perfect. They were 19m apart so it seemed like an impossible amount of work. Then DS turned 3. My husband has wanted more all along and he saw my moment of weakness, looking at DS's newborn pictures and made his move ;-) The first two are so close in age, then there will be almost 4yrs in between this one, so we've talked about having a 4th to be close in age to #3, but we've agreed to take it one baby at a time. No more than 4 though!

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