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How long do you give a new place?

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Before you decide you hate it?

I've been burned on this before. I wasn't "in love" with the last place I lived yet when it was time to decide to stay put or pick a new place. So, I picked a new place. But then after another couple years there, I grew to love it and was heartbroken to leave. And I hate it where I am now. I'm trying to stay positive. I've only been here a couple months. But I never hated where we just moved from, in the first year there, I just missed living overseas (we had to move back to the US) and didn't know anyone. I know some people already in our new home, and they are the only redeeming quality besides the weather.

So how long do you give it before really giving up on it?
post #2 of 8

I think it depends on why you moved in the first place.... Job?  Family?  Commute?  

 

We have moved every couple of years and each time was for a different reason.  Where we are now, is not ideal, but we have family here and the COL is pretty low for california.  DH has a remote job, so he can work just about anywhere.  We gave up a ton to live here, but having both sets of grandparents close is what is keeping us here.  There are tons of negatives and i by no means LOVE it... but it works for now.  If we didn't have family holding us here, I would have given it one year, I think.  Enough time to get into the swing of things and find friends and the types of things that interest you. 

 

Good luck and sorry you are not happy where you are.  

post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 
It's for a job. We are no where near our families. We are actually in CA too, the Bay Area.

There are other places we could live around here. We picked this place because we could get it from across the country, we tried to get a place in the city, where DH works , but it was impossible without being here. So he commutes. And I drive a lot to get to the stores and places I need to go, because our tiny town doesn't have much. We are definitely moving when our lease is up to someplace else in the area. Where I am now has the obnoxious parts of the city and the obnoxious parts of suburbs, without any of the perks of either. But it's more than just the place my home is, I haven't been thrilled with rest of the area either. People here are polite enough, but there isn't much warmth. And I'm already tired of being a curiosity (4 kids), which I seem to be EVERYWHERE I go.
post #4 of 8

Hi @Banana731 (wow, so many users with "banana + number" in their usernames around here... :P) 

 

Sorry to hear this. I live in the Bay Area too... may I ask where in the Bay Area you live? I moved here 10 years ago from another country. It took me a while to consider it home too, but I can't really compare it to other places in the US, since I've never lived anywhere else in this country. I now love it because of the abundance in outdoors possibilities and the great variety of good produce and food in general. Among other things, of course. The weather and nature are also so unique around here. 

 

Have you tried meeting other mamas from the Bay Area in our dedicated sub-forum: http://www.mothering.com/community/f/92/california-nevada 

 

Maybe you can find other like-minded people in your area who are also on Mothering? 

 

Also, Red Tricycle (http://redtri.com/) has a really neat newsletter of things you can do in the Bay that are family friendly. I ended up going to some of the events they recommended there, even if I don't have kids yet. 

post #5 of 8
It takes me on average two years to really feel like a place is mine and about four to make it feel like home. However since I moved out on my own I've moved every 2-4 years or less and it impacts me. I wish I was one that could just set up and feel comfortable right away.

I think I need that time to figure out how the house works for us and change out the furniture for stuff that works for the new layout and figure out what color paint is going on the walls.

We've been in our current place for 1.5 years and it has still not fully grown on me. I'm hoping by next summer (2 years) that I will have been able to make some changes and feel more settled.

I hope you can find a place you feel settled in.
post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 
@Monica S I live in the southern part of East Bay
post #7 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Banana731 View Post

Before you decide you hate it?

I've been burned on this before. I wasn't "in love" with the last place I lived yet when it was time to decide to stay put or pick a new place. So, I picked a new place. But then after another couple years there, I grew to love it and was heartbroken to leave. And I hate it where I am now. I'm trying to stay positive. I've only been here a couple months. But I never hated where we just moved from, in the first year there, I just missed living overseas (we had to move back to the US) and didn't know anyone. I know some people already in our new home, and they are the only redeeming quality besides the weather.

So how long do you give it before really giving up on it?

I moved from NYC to SoCal about 12 years ago. Last year I allowed myself to say I don't like many things here, and have decided to treat it like a vacation home we "winter" in for the whole year. ;) I would love to live in your area-want to trade?

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mata View Post

I moved from NYC to SoCal about 12 years ago. Last year I allowed myself to say I don't like many things here, and have decided to treat it like a vacation home we "winter" in for the whole year. wink1.gif I would love to live in your area-want to trade?

Ha! No.
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