Neither of mine liked their legs in. There is no issue with wearing a healthy newborn legs out as long as they are supported to the knee, knees higher than hips and enough back support that they don't slump. All of those things help mum's back and shoulders as well.
The base of the ergo was way too wide for us and I found the shoulder straps bulky and uncomfortable. I love the Beco Gemini which has an adjustable base. I used it with DD2 from day four.
I personally don't like outward facing because I can't get them close enough to my body to not drag on my shoulders. Overstimulation also concerns me but if you are aware of it and ready to turn your baby if they show signs of distress it's less of an issue I think. I do think some people (not on this thread, IRL mainly) project their own feelings onto the babies a bit. I am part of a large babywearing group and most of the babies are perfectly happy turning their heads to look around. It's what they're used to KWIM. Or their mums do a high back carry instead. So I wouldn't worry too much about forward-facing at this stage. Get both of you comfortable chest-to-chest first and see what happens.