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Mothering › Groups › September 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Sleep: or the lack thereof.

Sleep: or the lack thereof.

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Mamas: I'm pulling out my hair over here and need to get some fresh perspectives, suggestions, experience. Who better to ask then you lovely ladies!

How are you all coping with so little sleep? I find myself parking DD in front of the TV or Netflix (sad to say) just to get in a few minutes while baby is sleeping.

My DH tried to go to bed early almost every day this week and wasn't able to because my DD1 insists on being rocked to sleep. I tried my best to get her on his schedule so he can do that but sometimes she doesn't fall asleep. She wants mama. This makes me so sad because a lot of the time I can't put her to sleep. She's having lots of trouble laying down to sleep but we are working on it.

I've pleaded with DH to get a nap at his lunch hour but he's not been able to do so. He also isn't getting one at home though I try and get him to. He's very exhausted. I'm worried he's going to fall asleep at the wheel or something ugh! He's getting about 5 hours solid at night.

I am getting much less-- this baby doesn't sleep well at all at night and loves to snooze it up during the day. I sleep with her in another bedroom so she doesn't disturb my husband and DD1. A few times now she's slept almost 5 hours but it's usually close to 3.

Would love to discuss what y'all are doing and how it's going.
post #2 of 24
I'm sorry! Sleep deprivation is so crushing.
post #3 of 24

The lack of consistent sleep is driving me batty. I am SO glad Astrid decided to pass out this afternoon so I could sleep with her. I was giving her her supplement formula this morning and her bottle kept falling out of her mouth because I'd fall asleep.

post #4 of 24
I'm doing ok, but I also worry about my DP and how little he gets. It's similar to yours, Tilly- about 4-5 hrs per night. I can tell he's frazzled and moody because of it, and I worry about him. A lot of it is scheduling unrelated to the baby, but I can't get him to make changes...
post #5 of 24
Thread Starter 
Oh good to hear I'm not the only one. My DH is saying things about CIO (ugh!) and I hear him talk to DD1 in a nasty way and tonight I think he's spanked her! I asked him and he denies it. I'm not really sure what to do.

I tell him to take a nap and he doesn't, he'd rather drink caffeinated drinks and push through! Then he ends up staying up super late when I plead with him to just go to sleep and that I'll wake him. It's all very choatic. We are in a bad place with the lack of sleep clearly. I just wish the baby was more predictable and I didn't require his help. I feel like DD1 would be sleeping better without nursing or rocking to sleep if I'd had the chance to do it on my own. But with a fussy baby at night I just need the help. DD1 is like me and very sensitive to babies' cries. It's so sad. So whether I like it or not, daddy has to help. Ugh.

I started a thread about parenting a baby and toddler and almost everyone talks about their DHs helping. Mine does so reluctantly, with complaints and is unwilling to make changes. He's currently rocking her to sleep with music in a mei tei and she's 32 pounds! I guess that's small for some 4 year olds but we've got to phase out this out. I feel like we are the only ones in the world who do this still!

post #6 of 24
Can y'all switch places, him taking dd2 and you dealing with dd1?

(Sorry so brief. Dinners gonna burn...)
post #7 of 24

no idea how ANYONE does it with more than one kid. FTM here and i would actually describe myself now as chronically sleep-deprived. i find it hard to nap during the day. baby has gone into sleep regression at 3 months and i haven't had more than 2hrs in a row in 3-4 weeks. i need more energy, find myself just trying to get through the days and that's not how i want to live.


hugs to everyone going through the same thing!

post #8 of 24
Hugs to everyone going through this. I don't have a lot of advice since we're managing okay in the sleep area. I never really slept through the night myself, so as long as it's just switching sides and nursing to sleep a few times during the night, I can deal.
Going to bed is a whole other issue we're starting to navigate. Right now it takes me an hour to nurse him to sleep so that he won't wake up when I slip away. It's doable because we don't have other children, but that's all I got
post #9 of 24

not quite related, but not sure if it warrants its own thread..


how well are your babies doing on the nap front? ours kind of only naps on people. gotta admit we don't have a designated nap place, only hang out areas that serve as entertainment stations all too often.


tell me about your naptime routine! how do you put your babies down? do you swaddle them for naps? put them in a dark room? we must get better at this, baby needs more sleep, also we need to finally get the dishes and the laundry done.

post #10 of 24
Lately we put her gym in the crib and she plays for a while and then falls asleep, sometimes with a toy in her hand. At other times she still sleeps on me.
post #11 of 24
Liv never just falls asleep, but I look for if she's sleepy or if she's been awake 3-4hours I feed and rock her to sleep. She then goes in her bouncy chair. She normally stays in the living room for naps, we leave the telly on and talk normally, we want her to know the difference between daytime naps and quiet nighttime sleeping. We have 1 or 2 bad days a week where she just will not nap, or only for 10 minutes at a time. Then we have a seriously crazy baby with loads of screaming, crying and clingyness. She has fallen asleep on her own twice, only for DH never for me lol.
post #12 of 24
I just completely lost it. We have been talking and fighting about this for weeks now. DF needs to take the baby in the morning hours. I am not getting enough sleep to be functional during the daytime. Every fucking day I am exhausted because he waits until the last minute, until I'm completely out of energy to take him. Then he slams the door and makes me feel guilty for "making" him get up so early. Or he engages me in discussions for long enough that I eventually do wake up and once that happens, I cannot get back to sleep. We gave a guest bedroom that he never prepares for the morning (heat etc) so every fucking morning there is no plan in place. He claims he wakes up every time I feed him, but he fails to get his ass into gear so that I can get the rest I need. I yelled at him, I threw things, I ripped my shirt. He can get drunk and play guitar and be late and claim to work when he's just chatting to his band mate. I cannot sleep. I cannot nap during the day, I cannot get drunk or take sleeping pills because I have to fucking nurse an infant. If I do it anyway, it only works against me because he will get the bottle and then he won't take my breast again, then I have to get out the nipple shield and nurse in creative positions, while rocking and talking to him for a few days until we are back to normal. I cannot go to bed early. The only time I can sleep is in the early morning hours. And I lost a whole new fucking day again, I have a doctors appointment, I have to drive, I have to do everything I have to do every day, and I didn't get any sleep again.
He is angry because I lost it, I am angry because he doesn't acknowledge his part in it. This is the worst way to start the day.
post #13 of 24
VC, That sucks. Its totally not fair and they have no clue sometimes. That sounds like a really rough night.
My husband and i have had similar fights. It sucks.
Virtual hugs!
post #14 of 24
Vc, I'm sorry, men just don't seem to understand it like us moms. I've fought with my DH about the same thing. We are at just over 4 months and he's only now starting to help with night feeds, but he does complain the whole next day coz he's tired and needs to take a nap!
post #15 of 24
I think my husband only just realized how tired I am since I stole his Fitbit and he's seen the actual graph of how little sleep I've gotten the last two days (3 and 4:30h)
post #16 of 24
Vc, I'm sorry. We have had fights like that, too. And I feel like he's almost competitive about how sleep deprived he is- like yours he tells me he wakes up every time the baby does, etc. I want to choke him when he says that- because if he really was up, why didn't he help? So sorry my nighttime struggles disturbed your perfect sleep, precious!

Ah, but right now we're getting along ok and kids are sleeping ok, so I can't complain- but I can relate. Hope y'all sort it out and he steps in to help some more.
post #17 of 24

thanks ladies. i ended up rescheduling my doc appt to next week, i was in no shape to drive. went back for two 1 hr naps that day. 

i miss the two weeks or so we've had with 4-5hrs of consecutive sleep!!!!! please tell me they will come back soon. lately S wakes up at around 2.30am fussy and won't really go back to sleep. 

last night we handled it very well. this happened and at 4.45am we decided DF should go to the other room to get some sleep, and i took S into bed with me. at 7.30am, i passed him off to him, so we both got 1 1/2hrs of sleep that way. no fighting. and we still managed to have a good, productive day! i just woke up from a 2hr nap and am still tired and also have a headache now; i haven't gone without ibuprofen for about a week now. owowow

post #18 of 24

sleep deprivation + migraine = i just accidentally swallowed a pack of dessicant instead of ibuprofen.


a quick research says that stuff is usually harmless, despite all the warning labels. may cause nausea and vomiting though.


post #19 of 24
Oh no greensad.gif you poor thing. I hope it doesn't make you sick.
post #20 of 24
Thanks jenny. I was ok but talked to an LC about it during a moms group. She said postpartum insomnia is really common and gets worse the less you get to sleep. So I'm more than just tired at this point, I'm unable to sleep even when I have the chance.

She gave me some good tips though. I tried a homeopathic remedy last night, it's called Calms Forte. Worked we'll! I didn't sleep any longer but I think my sleep was deeper. I also got an herbal tea for relaxation and sleeplessness, will be trying that one out tonight.

I'm thinking I want to go to bed between 8-9pm now until I'm caught up on sleep.
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