This is my first thread and I hope I'm able to hear some wise words from other mama's out there. Honest opinions are more than welcome
So here's a brief description of my little anxiety for natural birth number 2.
I live in Japan, and here natural birth is not only encouraged, in many ways, it's expected. Epidurals have to be booked 6 months in advance, episiotomy's are mainly used for emergency's only and gas and air is used for the baby if they can't breathe, not for a panicy Mama. So any way, I have always wanted a natural birth as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mama very young (like 12) thank fully I waited a good few years though. Therefore living in Japan was perfect for my plan of natural birth. I originally was booked into a midwife clinic for the birth, but I had to be moved to a hospital when they realised I was RH-. In Japan this is obviously quite a big deal and makes birthing outside of a hospital a no no. Luckily the hospital I went to is great! The Maternity unit is run mainly by midwives, and doctors are only there for the bigger check ups, and to administer globulin etc (And of course if there's an emergency during birth, they're brought in)
So long story short my first birth was, considering being thousands of miles away from home without my mum and closest friend, well it was wonderful. I had my lovely hubby, my best friend in Japan (who was also my Japanese translator), a very good friend who's had two natural births herself and been at two more, and my maternity yoga instructor all there with me. Everyone took to their very natural roles instantly, and it was as smooth as I think bringing a baby into the world can be. I was in labour for a total of 10 hours, 6 of which was in the hospital. My beautiful baby girl, Sirona Misora, was born healthy and my life has never been the same since. Here comes the story of the stem of my anxiety though...
When it came to pushing I had two fears, tearing and pooping! Of which I did a little of both I'm told haha! But neither caused me much discomfort. The problem was, due to this fear, I don't feel like I pushed as effectively as I could have. I pushed for three hours! And for the length of my labour that's a big chunk! I had just got it into my head that if I pushed slowly and consistently I wouldn't tear, I would stretch slowly and it would all be fine. Instead it just drew out the process and caused Sirona to go into slight distress twice. I'd never heard of this being done (and I want to be a midwife so have read up a lot about birthing etc) but the midwife actually pushed Sirona back in twice! She said that I have a narrow birth canal and her head was being too compressed causing her heart rate to drop. So I crowned several times, but wasn't able to get her out effectively so they just pushed her back in!! I know it sounds horrendous, and it did feel pretty awful, but I think it's incredible that they didn't just cut me open and get her out there and then. They knew that I could do it. They knew saw that as soon as she was out of the canal her HR went right back to normal. But it kills me to think that I could have saved her from that stress and potential danger.
This is where my question comes in, does anyway have some really effective pushing techniques that could save me and my next wee boo going through the same thing again? I would really appreciate your advise ladies!