We recently found out my husband as a baby was fed karo and evaporated milk! That was suppose to make him less colicky.
What were you fed?
I was born in the 60s. I was breastfed for about 6 weeks and then, supposedly, "some doctor told me my milk was water, so I quit." (My mother never owns her own decisions.) I found out later "that doctor" never saw me, never weighed me, (I was gaining well on breast milk and dropped in the percentiles when put on Similac and even more when put on cow milk, then developed a severe case of Milk Anemia.) and never asked my mother any questions about her breastfeeding.
By 2 weeks old I was eating: egg yolk, orange and/or tomato juice and cereal. I was then put on Similac at 6 weeks and then cow's milk at around 4 months, because "that formula was really expensive." More and more solids were added weekly. I was on meat shortly after the egg yolk, then every kind of jarred baby food known. My parents moved out of my grandmother's house when I was 16 weeks old and I was immediately put on a rigid CIO regiment. My mother claims, "You didn't sleep through the night at four months because your grandmother would come and pick you up whenever you cried." The horror.
And she wonders why my GI, immune and nervous systems are so messed up. *sigh*
My mother's excuse: "Doctors were gods. You did what they told you without questioning." I don't believe this as she lived IN THE TOWN where many of the first La Leche League meetings were being given and my grandmother and great grandmother and aunt all breastfed their kids until toddlerhood and she had the support to continue breastfeeding IF she wanted it. Yes, I'm still a little pissed off that my body was defiled by this stuff at such a young age due to "convenience" and my mother refusing to own her own decisions.
My MIL never breastfed after she was given a dry up shot in the delivery room without her consent and had no milk the first few days for my brother in law. She didn't try with my husband. They were given home made formula made with honey and evaporated milk. They were born in the 50s.
Edited by MaggieLC - 11/28/13 at 9:08am
I was breastfed for two years(early eighties). I enjoy great health and a great immune system and I feel grateful to my mom.
My fiance was born in 77 & also was exclusively breastfeed for the first half year and not really sure about his weaning schedule after that, but regardless, he was a fat, healthy, breastfed infant who grew off the charts as a baby, so I'm happy to see those baby pics and know his body got such a great start in life. Whatever weaning process happened as he began to toddle pales in comparison with the importance of infants getting breastfed on demand. I am hysterically passionate about a new baby's right to nurse and be near mother as much as baby wants, but much more lassie faire (spelling?) about a 9 month old or 1 year old getting switched to a mix of formula & solids. I personally do extended breastfeeding, but don't get tears in my eyes (or upset even) at the thought of kids closer to a year and older not getting breastmilk. They're not my kids and I can shrug it off.
But newborns and infants not getting to thrive on mommy milk? Criminal neglect in my mind and makes me want to weep.
OMG. Thanksgiving. Somehow the subject of babies came up. My mother gleefully told the story about how she "had no choice" (dear Lord I hate that expression, there are few situations where people "have no choice") but to let me scream myself to sleep when they moved out of my grandmother's house when I was 16 weeks old. She blamed my dear, sweet grandmother and my dear sweet great grandmother and my aunts for picking me up when I cried when my parents lived with them. (My dad was 2nd Generation Italian and it wasn't uncommon for 3 or more generations to all live in the same house. Like a village.) She again laughed when she told how she told the neighbors she was "teaching the baby to sleep, so if you hear screaming all night, I'm not beating her. I'm just NOT going to pick that baby up every time she makes a noise." I guess there was a risk of DCFS being called because I cried so hard, so long, so loud and so desperately.
I was fuming. How could anyone not only DO that to an innocent infant, but brag about it and tell the story like it was amusing to anyone. WTF? Decades later she's still defending her choice as not even being a choice. "You could stay awake for 24 hours." Yeah, so? I had my first two babies 26 months apart, they were both colicky for 14 weeks and never let them cry. I didn't get enough sleep. SO? You do for your babies and you survive. It didn't make me neglect my tiny innocent babies, who only cried because it was the only way they could communicate, and the ONLY thing they wanted was my presence and my arms and my milk. I don't think they were asking too much or unusual at all. That's what babies do. They sleep erratically. Parenting isn't for the weak, or the excuse makers or for those who want a convenient life.
I'm still fuming. That woman still thinks she knows more about parenting than I do. Called me (I'm a Lactation Consultant) in the hospital after my THIRD baby was born and gave me completely irrational "breastfeeding advice." When I, as calmly as I could, told her that what she was suggesting (I had some soreness and she said, "You make those nurses get you a nipple shield!") wasn't recommended for my situation, she got bitchy with me and said, "Then what are they for, then?" I was barely 24 hours post C Section with a preterm baby, in a lot of pain and trying to only get milk into this tiny little baby and I wasn't going to give my mother a crash course on Lactation 101 from my hospital bed at the moment.
Her hubris never fails to amaze me. She not only refuses to admit she made grievous errors but refuses to own any of her choices, claiming she "had no choice" but to make far less than optimal mothering choices, and then, if that is questioned or anyone explains that she did have other choices, blames other people who either "forced" her to do things a certain way or "wouldn't let" her do thing a different way. Cowardly. That's all I can call her mothering.
To laugh and joke about a baby crying lonely and scared in the night, her only worry that a neighbor might call DCFS. WHO does that?
I was FF, my mom said I had jaundice so she had to switch me to formula! Ahhhh!!!! I hate hearing that now that I'm more educated.. However I made mistakes with my first too, I let her CIO desperate for sleep! I didn't know any better. I bought a book about sleep training and the rest is history!
The only weird thing I know of that my parents did to me as an infant was put honey on my pacifier so I would take it.
Our families can't believe how long I nursed my first ( till 22 months) and how we don't introduce solids till at least six months. It's funny to me people can try and tell me my baby is starving when they have fat rolls:)
I also forgot to mention that my mom would put baby food and cereal in a bottle when I was a baby and feed me that ! And I know I was at least 4 months old I'm sure younger! Again though I made the mistake of starting my first on purred foods at 4 months bc she wasn't gaining as much as the dr thought
She wasn't gaining as much as he thought she should! And I shrug put cereal in a bottle with bigger holes!!!! But I never out baby food in a bottle.... That is just laziness on my moms part lol..... Well we live and learn right? Now I'm BLW total opposite of what I did with the first.... And there are done things I'll do differently with my next too that I'm in the process of learning! I think our generation is always trying to grow and learn ( with I help if the internet) which our parents did not have! They just did what the dr's told them.just like I did with my first... (With some things)
Maggie, you are right to be angry! It's not a "funny" story at all, and it's awful that your mother won't admit now that she did some things wrong, even if she really didn't know at the time.
My partner and I both were breastfed until about 1 1/2 years old and offered soft healthy foods at 6 months. My younger brother nursed until he was almost 3, but his intro to solids was screwed up by my paternal grandmother, who claimed she "didn't know" not to feed him strawberry ice cream at 4 months. My mom thinks that may have been the trigger for his dairy allergy, which lasted until he was about 4 years old.
That grandmother fed my dad some kind of homemade baby formula, but I don't know what was in it. She also gave him "soothing syrup" with opium...
On my mom's side of the family, though, it seems like everybody breastfed even through the era when it was unfashionable. I remember my great-aunt telling me that when her kids were babies in the 1940s, she would leave them with their father while she went grocery shopping, but if she heard someone else's baby crying in the store, her milk would let down--she made it sound like she looked like a lawn sprinkler!
I think if she'd had any kind of positive influencers or information besides the OB, she would have gladly breastfed me and my sister.
She's very attached without having a definition of it. She held her babies, fed them lovingly (no bottle propping in our family!) and discipline was gentle, for the most part.
She just, honestly, wasn't given a choice and didn't feel like she had a choice, when it came to breastfeeding.
She also didn't know about circumcision choices either, but had no sons. She didn't even know her own father was intact until she mentioned to my grandparents that my son is intact.
My grandmother nursed my mom for about 3 months. She says that her milk went away at that point and ended up exclusively feeding formula. She never tried to nurse any of her other kids. I don't know to what extent she was supplementing with a bottle before three months.
My sister was breastfeed for about 6 months I think. The crazy story about that is that friends of theirs wanted to "keep the baby overnight", she agreed, and weaned her because of it.
I was breastfed until 11 months, when my parents went on vacation. In those days, "vacation" was excluded to anyone under age 5, because one can't expect an under 5 to sit in a boat hours a day and fish. So at 11 months (and subsequent years following) I was sent off to an aunt who had a similar age child for a week while my mom went on vacation with dad. I can't imagine how hard that was for me, my mother, or the aunt!
My mother was formula fed, although she said her mother breastfed some of the children (there were 9) but not all. I've heard that my father was forumla fed, although that probably means he was fed cow's milk, as they lived on a dairy farm. Stories about her in bed for days make me think she suffered severe post-partum depression.