I have such an ironic story to tell you all! Last week a few parents and I got together as a new group for parents to address issues facing pre-teens. At this very party the kids played truth or dare. I knew about some of it first hand from my DC and it sounded innocent enough to me so I didn't think too much about it.
Fast forward to today...
I ran into another parent (not at the party) who told me that her daughter received some texts that night from the phone belonging to a boy at the party. Her story is that the my daughter and another girl at the party texted a message to her daughter from the boy's phone asking if this girl would be this boy's girlfriend. The mom feels as though this was done as a joke and the child was hurt.
This is as much information as I have right now because I can't reach the mother of the boy whose phone was supposedly used my my daughter. I also can't yet talk to my child because she's at school. So, you're hearing an unfolding story.
Here's where we are in terms of what sort of advice we've given DC that relates to this issue:
1. I have advised DC that it is not her business to be involved in encouraging any sort of romantic relationships. She knows that she would not want that done to her. Unfortunately, that conversation has not come up in a while so my DC may need a refresher.
2. DC does not yet have a phone where she can text freely so we are a bit behind, (obviously!) with advising her about texting. I'm very disappointed to hear that she may have texted pretending to be someone else. That is the worst thing about this as far as I'm concerned. I don't know how accurate this is but it's my biggest concern for now. Fortunately it is an easy enough fix - avoid texting from other people's phones and if you ever need to be sure to sign your name. Does that sound about right? Any other things to consider?
3. The issue of whether this was a joke. This I just don't understand. I don't think it's funny and I don't think my DC would think it was funny. I have a feeling that for this part of the picture my DC may be being dragged into another kid or family's issue. I wonder if maybe the boy wanted to send the texts but was embarrassed and said it was a joke...? I just don't know.
4. DC has had a pretty decent education about sexual bullying. So, at least some of the issues will be easy enough for me to convey to my DC by reframing them in a way that allows her to see the bigger picture.
What do you all think about this? WWYD?