My ex and I have been separated for 12 years. We have two kids together. Two years ago he moved to Hawaii (best thing that ever happened to us!), the kids and I are in Georgia. Ex didn't move to Hawaii for work or school, he was just tried of the mainland. There is a court order which requires him to pay $560/month in child support, 28% of uncovered medical expenses, and several thousand dollars into the kids college funds. He is over $3500 in arrears, has paid zero of the medical expenses and put nothing into the college accounts. I do not have his address (he refuses to give it to me which is also a violation of our court order) so it is quite difficult to file a contempt. Him being out of state doesn't make a difference with visitation because he never came to see them when he lived only 20 minutes away.
BUT all that isn't what's pissing me off!
My DD turned 16 recently and her dad asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She told him that she wanted a pair of running shoes. So he called me and told me that I had to use the child support money to buy her the running shoes as birthday present from him! He wasn't going to spend any money on her unless he got child support credit for it. He did the same thing to DS, DS wanted a cell phone. When I told EX that child support was for the kids daily living expenses and not to cover gifts from him, he blew up and started calling me a greedy bitch. Of course DD is going to get the shoes, she runs varsity cross country, but they are not going to be a gift from him unless he buys them and gives them to her. When I quit answering his calls and texts he starts harassing the kids. He drags them into everything. They just end up fighting with him (they don't like all the disparaging comments he makes about me) and DS frequently says "something is really wrong with my dad".
Additionally, he is trying to convince DD and DS that they should move to Hawaii to live with him. The kids said they think he is just trying to get out of paying child support and they don't trust for one second that he would actually take care of them because he never has. Last time he was in town and visited with the kids the visit sent DS into a full blown anxiety attack and DS said that he never wanted to see his dad again. Months later he maintains this position. He has even asked me and DH what we have to do to terminate his dad's parental rights and let DH adopt him.
We just found out that EX is coming on town in a few months for his sister's wedding. Just hearing that got DS all worked up.
Thanks for letting me vent. I would be happy to hear comments, suggestions, even just similar stories!