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Mothering › Groups › June 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › Thanksgiving was awful. vent and insight request

Thanksgiving was awful. vent and insight request

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

[longer than intended; apologies and feel free to skip it]

I have calmed down significantly now, and I am glad I didn't write about it earlier, but I gotta just make a quick statement about my Thanksgiving.  It was awful.
I said clearly that it was okay with me so long as it was really low stress and I didn't have to do anything if I didn't feel up to it.  Well, I mostly avoided work, but not completely (since there's always somebody popping in saying, "where is . . . ?"). 
Stress-wise it was a mess, partly because of the above continuous questions, but mostly because I, and my nutritional needs were ignored. 
We didn't officially eat until after 8:30 PM!  That is a heluva long time to keep a pregnant woman waiting, lying to her hour after hour that it's almost ready.  The food was mostly inedible to me because of the way it was seasoned and ingredients used even though we had discussed it earlier.  There was little to no decent snackable food for me because all the space/effort was on the main meal.  I did make a conscious effort to eat and drink, but I was also trying to zone out with TV because my stress reactions were getting worse and I was trying to not have another attack.  Placating and being a "good girl" in these situations just made things worse in the end. 

So weak with nutritional imbalance and blood sugar malfunction (and the absence of any real hunger pangs to compound the confusion) I lost it - tantrum style.  And because it was in part from imbalance and low sugar, it just kept going.  And then again later in the middle of the night, waking me up.

I walked into the room they were eating and just got a little snack for my self and went back to my own room.
Thank goodness for near-hubby, who also stressed wasn't the perfect representation of gentlemanly behavior, but at least kept coming back and trying. 

Has anything like this happened to any of you?  I feel like it keeps happening and I thought I had figured out how to stop/slow it down. 
Is this something you've seen/treated in your kids (despite them all being perfect and adorable)?  When I was younger they would say I would just go into "rages", but I thought I had narrowed down the main triggers to chemicals and malnutrition (which is still some aspect of it). 

The approaches are mostly shut-her-up whether it's pharmaceutical or herbal, but I am positive some basic physiological need is unmet and that the problem will not resolve well until that is done.  This resurgence is certainly pregnancy-related and seemed to get worse after the first weeks of poor eating. 

Thanks guys. 
For the record I used oils and magnesium with some short-term success to calm, but they wear off fairly soon and the problem underneath seems worse. 

After a couple days of really feeling better this was a nasty, ill-timed surprise.  Trying not to get too discouraged about it and hope I can recover more tonight since all systems were disrupted.  Today I've got headaches, body aches, lethargy and digestive confusion.

post #2 of 9

I'm Due Date Club crashing, but I couldn't read and not send a hug your way. :Hug

post #3 of 9

That's really not okay to have you wait that long for dinner. While an hour might be reasonable when there's a turkey involved, I'm assuming your meal time was scheduled for early afternoon. I would have left honestly, because I need food often. Did they not put the turkey in until a few minutes before guests arrived? Because our 23 lb turkey was done in 5 hours.


I've got into a full on rages, and although they freaked me out, I don't know they were that abnormal. It's hard to know the seriousness of yours by just reading your description, but I'm guessing yours are probably more serious than mine. Once the placenta has fully developed you should be a little less ragey, but especially when you're also dealing with starvation, it's not going to go away completely until after you have your baby. As adults we tend to have better filters than children, but that doesn't necessarily mean we don't ever have the same need to throw a tantrum. Perhaps allowing ourselves to have that release of stress would be beneficial?

post #4 of 9

I find it hard when I go home in the summer and I am the only one with kids, they have huge group dinners but my family like to lounge around having drinks at 5pm after the beach exactly when my kids need to eat. They often are sitting down to dinner at 10pm or later. I just do my own thing and prepare an early meal for my kids, I usually eat with them and then have a snack again later with the gang. If you have special nutritional needs its important to take care of that first...just eat what you need at the time you need it and then you can just hang out with them at the dinner later at least you will be calm because you have the meal in you that you need! 

post #5 of 9
Originally Posted by shenanegans View Post

If you have special nutritional needs its important to take care of that first...just eat what you need at the time you need it and then you can just hang out with them at the dinner later at least you will be calm because you have the meal in you that you need! 
This is true -- if you know you need a certain kind of food, or to eat at certain intervals, as a grown up, you need to take charge of that for yourself. Even if you expect food to be ready at a certain time, holidays - and really, any large family gathering - are unpredictable, so bring food, pack snacks etc. Just like you'd take time out to nurse a hungry baby, you need to take time to feed that baby now - by feeding yourself. I almost always have a bottle of water and snacks for my kids & myself either in my car, or in my bag - as the only vegetarians in our families and most of our social circle, sometimes there aren't suitable snacks at events, so we make sure we've got something available that will work.
I'm sorry your thanksgiving was so awful, and hope Christmas will be much more enjoyable.
post #6 of 9

But really, if you're going to thanksgiving dinner, you shouldn't have to bring snacks in case you get hungry!


I have learned to be prepared for my daughter though. She's allergic to eggs and dairy, and I showed up to a couple of family functions where there wasn't a thing I could give her. I had to go to the store and grab some junk.

post #7 of 9
Thread Starter 

It was at my house (sorta) - staging meal at near-hubs next door.  Fridge got filled with Thanksgiving food and the snacks left were sparse.  Had no hunger, but made a conscious effort to eat.  The disruptions helped throw of the timing - a lot.  Promised some food would be edible and thanks to time and variance in cooking styles were not.  It was just a disaster. 
Sorry for the short sentences.  Just didn't want y'all thinking this all happened just cause I wasn't prepared on top of things.  This was a disaster despite my preparation and fail-safes.  I went along with most of it not realizing how bad it was getting for me.  Live and learn. 
Today was a much better day, but have to be brief and can't expand on that thought now.  Need to find a way to calm this sudden reflux of formerly safe food (as of a day ago?!) - homemade crustless pumpkin pie.

post #8 of 9
The sudden onset of reflux in the 2nd trimester, or near it's beginning, is normal - though unpleasant! - not laying down after eating helps. Papaya enzyme helps. Avoiding all trigger foods helps. The good news is ... it often is limited to the 2nd trimester, so by the start of the 3rd, it may be gone.
I'm making all sorts of spice food that I love now, and dreading the day reflux arrives ... although I've gotten to 14+wks now w/o it, so maybe I'll avoid it this time.
Glad you are having better days, and hope that continues.
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 

I'm so confused by these symptoms and my body.  The reflux led to vomiting when I tried to drink water, take supplements and stuff.  Felt better, but could only chase it with a banana/coconut milk mini-shake sipped.  By this time it's almost midnight :eyesroll, NH is trying to get to sleep and my brain cells aren't functioning. 
I crave spice/seasoning in foods, but I don't think there's a balance I'm missing.  Most hummus seems tolerable to great.  Dolmas beckon repeatedly, but need to be avoided.  Every time I have some they get thrown up - hours later, sometimes.
Does this sound normal?  Sorry I'm such a "newb" with this.  Dietary response and sensitivity was a specialty, but I have just hit the big-leagues and I'm a bit confused.  Muscle testing is all over the place, too.  It's mostly cautiously optimistic, but what I have to work with for now. 

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