Recently my daughter was subjected to a really unpleasant situation. It happened during riding lessons. A volunteer of the riding center that we had not been introduced to came up to my daughter and I while we were watching little sister have her lesson. This person first asked how long had my daughter been taking lessons. My daughter answered and I then lightheartedly corrected her because she was off by a few months -- immediately this person said to me in a very rude tone: I was asking her, not you. She then began to verbally take my daughter down by criticizing her for being loud and that it was unacceptable behavior around horses.
This is the first time that someone has spoken to my daughter like that and it is also the first time that I have witnessed someone else scolding my daughter. My daughter is 12 and is usually respectful and terribly emphatic. At one point prior to the scolding, she ran around happily -- she loves riding and being out in nature. Her teacher is a wonderful person and very low key. Her teacher did not seem to mind the little bit of noise my daughter made -- and she only did it once -- and it was cheering on little sister. It wasn't like she was making noise repeatedly to the point of being a pain in the a$$ and an embarrassment to herself. In fact, both my daughters have been rather vocal at times throughout their lessons. They tag team each other as well -- setting up jumps and courses -- and it involves some quick moving around at times to get stuff ready and of course they call out encouragingly to each other.
So, I am baffled.
This volunteer didn't even have the gall to introduce herself before derailing my daughter which to me is cowardly.
Secondly, this person refused to acknowledge me as a parent and she should have spoken to me or the teacher first.
Lastly, my daughter learned nothing positive from this woman. When the volunteer finished the tirade and left us there speechless, my daughter turned to me and said: I hate her and I never want to have lessons when she is here volunteering. This last point is sad because my daughter was not confronted in a way that taught her anything. Therefore she lost respect for this adult. I told my daughter that perhaps the volunteer was having an off day.
I wasn't going to tell my husband but then finally caved. He was upset and felt that the conduct of the volunteer was out of line to both my daughter and I. It was so cold during our lesson that we just wanted to get home and relieve the teacher so we left before I could talk with the teacher about what happened.....because she didn't notice. I could have texted her but felt that would be inappropriate before Thanksgiving and that this deserved a face to face meeting.
Do I include my daughter in the conversation or do I have her wait in the car?
Also, do I approach the volunteer and introduce myself since she never did that to us and then tell her how I felt about her behavior towards us?
Either way, this situation needs to be taken care of if we are to continue lessons.
For the record, my daughter did apologize to the volunteer several times.....but it was forced.