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Planning on oopsing?

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
I'm currently 27+ weeks pregnant with my second.

I was originally planning on having a home birth but now I'm considering oopsing. Basically I want the midwife to arrive right after the baby is born, ideally as soon as the baby fully emerges the midwife enters the room. I know it's impossible to get this kind of precision with the timing but I'm wondering how I know when I'm in transition. Also, how long will transition take? I was thinking of calling the mw when transition starts.

Not surprisingly I am considering going unassisted because of a traumatic first birth with a mw that was in a hospital. Am very keen to avoid a repeat and I don't particularly trust mw's after what happened last time.
post #2 of 25

How long was your transition last time?  IMO, it would be very hard to predict how long it will be before you give birth after transition starts.  Everyone is different and every birth is different. If I wanted to "ooops", I'd wait until I started feeling pushy, because then I'd know I have another 10-15 minutes, but that would depend on how far the midwife had to drive too.

post #3 of 25

Strange pattern/lack of pattern starting up in really intense long contractions (varied timing, double peaks, etc), the beginning of feeling pushy, and feeling scared or out of control are pretty typical transition things for me and I've heard in others. Sometimes feeling hot or cold, shaking, or nausea. Transition signs can start awhile before the birth (I had one that happened at 5-6cm, passed, and I went on laboring calmly and birthed 6 hours later) or just before pushing begins, or get skipped entirely. And pushing can take a few minutes to a couple hours. If the MW's drive is pretty short (less than 30 minutes?) I'd give her the heads up you're in labor earlier on and call her to come when pushing just barely begins if you want her to just miss it.

post #4 of 25
Thread Starter 
I was thinking of waiting until I start to feel pushy. Last time I didn't have that experience due to epidural and didn't feel transition. This is all new. I think the mw is 15 minute drive away.

Any good resources for UC (such as a booklet or something)?
post #5 of 25

Inspiring and informative site: http://www.unassistedbirth.com/

An old manual that explains things well and pretty well normalizes a patiently, hands off birth attended by a layperson http://www.theperfectbirth.com/gregorywhite.pdf

post #6 of 25

Have you been seeing a MW so far for this pregnancy? If so have you told her your previous birth story and how you'd like her to be hands off for this birth? Feel her out and see what she says. Some MW's will stay in the other room and let you do your thing, and others aren't comfortable w/that so you need to maybe interview a few in your area if you can. If your choices are limited and your MW isn't super happy about being hands off then an oops could be a good option and I'd probably wait til I started feeling pushy to make the call. 

post #7 of 25
Thread Starter 
Yeah I was wondering if the mw might be willing to wait in th other room. I guess I could ask.
post #8 of 25

In that birth I mentioned with my transition coming and passing early and birthing 6 hrs later? My MW arrived 4 hours til the birth, listened to baby once, asked if she should check me, found me at 7cm, then knitted in my dining room until I was pushing and I called her in. That was my only mw attended homebirth and she was great about letting me take the lead, and staying out of the way.

post #9 of 25

I just typed a long detailed response and now it's gone. I trust that you didn't need to read all that or hear the details of my oopsing attempts!

 

Here's the short version:

 

Baby #1 - MW assisted homebirth. Present were DH, doula, my mom, my mother-in-law, my grandmother and then my sister-in-law who happened to be visiting and just decided to stay. Labor was 18 1/2 hours.

 

Baby #2 - I planned an Ooops. I didn't let anyone know though. Instead of a UC I ended up with a typical HB assisted by a MW. I wanted to be solo with my DH but instead I ended up with my DH on my right, my doula-friend on my left, my mother listening through the door and the MW sitting between my legs -- everyone waiting for me to deliver my baby. It was a fine HB but it was NOT what I wanted. Labor was 4 1/2 really exhausting hours.

 

Baby #3 - I finally got honest with everyone involved and stopped trying to please them. I wanted to please myself. I wanted a UC. The MW was fine with that. She planned a UC for her 3rd baby as well. My DH was NOT fine with UC. We finally reached an understanding that I was never going to phone the MW. If he wanted her for himself, he could call her. She knew to stay away from me. Labor was an easy 90 minutes that I could have gone Black Friday shopping afterwards.

 

Baby #4 - Everyone knew the drill. I'll call my DH maybe. It's his job to call the MW if he wanted her. She knew to stay away from me. Labor was 40 minutes 'till pushing but then he was all wrapped up in the cord and took an hour of HARD pushing. 100 minutes total.

 

Bottom line -- I gave my husband and my children the gift of him being at their births even though he wanted a MW. I gave myself the gift of being honest with everyone so I could birth the way I wanted.

 

Wishing you a beautiful birth and a happy, healthy baby!

post #10 of 25
Thread Starter 
That's so awesome, thank you
post #11 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola P View Post

That's so awesome, thank you


Well, if I could impart just one piece of advice, it's that you learn from my experience with baby #2, because who knows if you'll have the blessing of a #3 or #4. I really should have been honest for what I wanted and needed. When I began my second pregnancy, it was kind of assumed by everyone (me, too) that I'd do the same HB MW plans that we had with my first, but with a few less people (we had a small party in attendance!). And, I went with that idea, until I got closer to the 3rd trimester when I realized that I wanted something else. That I wanted a UC... it's just I didn't tell anyone. I probably could have had my ideal birthing experience with #2 if I had just shared my wishes.

 

So, I hope you can share  your wishes, find an understanding with all the stakeholders involved and have the best birth for you and your baby. :throb

post #12 of 25
Thread Starter 
I don't know what my wishes are at this point. The idea of UC terrifies me at times. I don't know that I could handle being that responsible for the outcome if something did go wrong. Really I'm thinking it would be awsome to be alone - totally alone - in a bedroom with my midwife and dh and mom in the other room, but I don't know if mw are allowed to do that. I don't want to have my choices limited in any way by the presence of a mw, and I think that limiting might be inevitable.
post #13 of 25
Midwives, in general, are allowed to just sit in another room. You just have to find one that is willing to do that.
post #14 of 25
Thread Starter 
Yes I will ask. Thank you
post #15 of 25

It can't hurt to ask in a specific serious way just to see what her thoughts are on UC. Or even if you just share that you're feeling called in your heart to labor by yourself with others out of the room - that will give her the chance to talk about how much of a possibility that is with her birth philosophy. Most MW do seem to be quite okay with that.

 

I think you're really wise to explore your options and 'try on' different ideas. It seems like each baby teaches us a little more about how we birth best.

post #16 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola P View Post

I'm currently 27+ weeks pregnant with my second.

I was originally planning on having a home birth but now I'm considering oopsing. Basically I want the midwife to arrive right after the baby is born, ideally as soon as the baby fully emerges the midwife enters the room. I know it's impossible to get this kind of precision with the timing but I'm wondering how I know when I'm in transition. Also, how long will transition take? I was thinking of calling the mw when transition starts.

Not surprisingly I am considering going unassisted because of a traumatic first birth with a mw that was in a hospital. Am very keen to avoid a repeat and I don't particularly trust mw's after what happened last time.

my transitions were variable w/ each child.

key hints for me-
1. pushy feeling, bearing down heavily w/ each contraction

2. legs get tingly and twitch 

3. fall asleep between contractions (i have done this deep squat WHILE pushing- i have long labors and my body prioritizes)

4. i always just completely give up and decide i'm gonna just die once this is over- transition isn't a wave i can ride, it's like being inside a huge tunnel wave and just praying it will end soon.  and preferably w/out me getting totally crushed at the end.

 

my transition times were as little as 30 min, and as long as 9 hours (baby twisted and just took that long to shift from posterior to not posterior, then 7 min of pushing and he was out) so waiting for an oops seems really hit or miss for me!

 

i really wanted to oops.  but i'm a little too uptight and wanted someone there w/ my husband b/c he is NOT okay being the only one there w/ me!!!  my midwife knows i won't even begin to relax into labor until she gets there, so we have a good understanding.
BUT- recognizing transition is so helpful.  my husband is the best at seeing it in my face and then knowing to come in.  he know's he's not welcome unless that baby is popping out.  

my midwife is a knit in the other room (or play on her iphone) and i took baths alone, slept, wandered the house, and she pretty much was there for me if i needed her, but she didn't have a huge need to be w/ me except for the occasional fetal stethoscope monitorings.


 

post #17 of 25

I am sorry you didn't feel safe at your last birth, and also do not totally trust your current care. You deserve more and better than that.

Here's some info on the end signs of the second stage of labor (how to know when to call because you are close)

 

Fetal Ejection Reflex & The Urge to Push

The Fetal Ejection Reflex

The fetal ejection reflex is caused by the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin release happens naturally when the atmosphere is carefully guarded and the mother feels safe and confident  As a hormonal response, the fetal ejection reflex is highly sensitive to the environment. Dr. Michael Odent explains:

 

“The passage towards the fetus ejection reflex is inhibited by any interference with the state of privacy. It does not occur if there is a birth attendant who behaves like a ‘coach’, or an observer, or a helper, or a guide, or a ‘support person’. It can be inhibited by vaginal exams, by an eye-to-eye contact, or by the imposition of a change of environment. It does not occur if the intellect of the laboring woman is stimulated by a rational language (‘Now you are at complete dilation; you must push’). It does not occur if the room is not warm enough or if there are bright lights

The strong contractions of an authentic ejection reflex will fill the mother with confidence and energy—she will have a wonderful and irresistible desire to get into a powerful upright position. Part of the reason this upright posture is instinctively assumed is because it helps protect the pelvic floor from tearing.

 

The Urge To Push

The urge to push is a complimentary but different reflex that is caused physiologically not hormonally; and it usually starts to build 10-60 minutes after full dilation. Some mothers experience both, some neither, and some mothers experience one without the other. The urge to push is spontaneous and overpowering. It is most often triggered when the presenting part descends and applies pressure to the rectum and pelvic floor. As the baby’s head descends through the birth passage, the location of any pressure that the mother feels will progressively move downward. Eventually the mother will begin to feel rectal pressure, as if she needs to have a bowel movement. The urge to push usually correlates with this sensation. Pushing feels to many women as though their bodies are already pushing starting at the beginning of the contraction and that they merely joining their breath and attention to the effort. If the mother is not sure, there is no harm done in letting the sensation build until external signs of imminent birth are observed or the urge is irresistible. If the urge to push only comes at the end of a contraction, and not the beginning, the mother can continue to wait and breath through contraction

 

Because this urge is not dependent on the cervix being fully dilated but rather on the pressure being applied to the pelvic floor, it is possible that the mother could start to push before full cervical dilation. The urge to push is dependent on pelvic floor pressure not full cervical dilation. Alternatively, the cervix could be fully dilated without descent sufficient to trigger pushing which is one cause of the common pause in labor between the first and second stages. A well-toned pelvic floor seems to be correlated with a mother sensing an urge to push at the most helpful time for her birth.

 

The common means to confirm that full dilation has occurred is to do a cervical examination. Since the examiner in an unassisted birth scenario may not have trained hands to know with total confidence whether the baby’s head has fully passed the cervix, another option is to wait for external rather than internal signs of progress. The external signs of imminent birth include a distended bulge in the vagina, perineum, and rectum. The external signs of imminent birth include a distended bulge in the vagina, perineum, and rectum.

 

(SB: Signs That Delivery Is Imminent Include:

·       Increase in bloody show or discharge; often the membranes rupture if they haven’t already

·       The mother may experience the desire to bear down

·       Tonally, the mother may grunt during contractions or at the end of exhales

·       The mother experiences a pressure in the rectum similar (and sometimes mistaken for) a desire to have a bowel movement

·       The perineum flattens and then bulges[i])

 

[i] Oxorn-Foot. Human Labor & Birth. 5th Edition. East Norwalk: Appleton-Century-Crofts Publishers. 1986. P 128

 before full cervical dilation. ervical dilation.

 stick with it. But I don'esult in se. the most helpful time for her birth. s

post #18 of 25
Thread Starter 
Thanks!!
post #19 of 25

Great topic, OP.  I've been thinking of doing this.  I've talked with my DP.  Now that I've read some of these replies, I'm thinking of asking the MWs about a hands-off, leave me in the birth room until I request their presence approach and see how they respond...

post #20 of 25
Thread Starter 
I think I'm just going to wait until the end to call, like when I start to feel pushy. Last time my mw was awful.
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