I thought it would be nice to have a thread where we can recount our blow-by-blow tales of birth to an appreciative and inquiring audience :) I know I'd love to hear everyone's stories and reflections...
My appt on Tue 11-26 I was dialated 2-3 cm and 90% effaced.
I woke up with cramping at 3:30 a.m. and around 4:00 cramps turned into mild contractions. 4:30 I took a shower and afterwards headed to the hospita
l because my contraction were 3-4 min apart. We
arrived at the hospital around 5:30 am and was 6cm
and 100% effaced. Contractions were extremely hard and by the time I got to a room at 6:00 I was so
dehydrated that they had a hard time placing an IV (I so needed an epidural). At around 6:45, while still trying to get an IV in, my water broke and I was completely dialated and ready to push...but
contractions were too strong and I was not able to push through contractions (I know that sounds weird). The OB allowed me to get an epidural, but the mefs they gave me completely numbed me and we decided for me to push when feeling returned...at
about 8:00 nurses rushed into my room because the baby flat lined and they frantically moved the monitor around searching until one nurse looked under the sheets and found that baby was crowning (I had no idea)...Easton was born after a few pushes at 8:15 am. They laid him on my chest and we had an hour or more of skin to skin and nursing before I allowed them to get his stats. Apgars were 9 &9.
We've been home for 2 days and it's been challenging with caring for and nursing an infant and parenting 4 yr old twins...but I wouldn't change a thing.
So a small miracle is happening right now in which both DD and baby are sleeping. I hope it continues long enough for me to write Leander's birth story!
I'll start by saying the birth itself went very well but unfortunately my midwife's behaviour was a disaster.
On Saturday, MW checked me (and I think I posted this here). By then I was having regular contractions for several days but they never picked up pace or strength. They did feel though like there are opening up things. MW confirmed that I was somewhere between 5 and 6 cm dilated. I was so excited to have come so far with no pain but several days of early labor was really getting to me. She suggested induction but I refused.
By Sunday, things finally started to pick up albeit slowly. By the afternoon, the contractions were painful (sorry hypnobabies) but nothing I couldn't handle. There were still every 8-10 minutes but at least they were picking up in strength. We were all very nervous because I was already so dilated and I was scared things might move too fast. So by the afternoon, I gave in and we called my parents in law to come over. MW asked me to come in to the hospital at around 6:30 pm.
FIL drove us and I took my bags just in case (but I knew that we wouldn't be back that day). MW checked me and she said I was by now 7-8cm dilated but contractions were still not so close. I opted to wait. But first we had to do check on the baby so I was hooked to the monitors and that's were things started moving fast. Baby's heartbeat was unfortunately quite high - no one had to tell me anything, I've been looking at his heartbeat all pregnancy and it was definitely significantly higher than usual. After 40 minutes, it did not go down. So the doctor came and took a blood sample. Half an hour later she came back with the results I dreaded - I had higher than usual levels of antibodies and a slightly elevated temperature. Needless to say I was upset and worried. Both MW and doctor told me that we should try to get the baby out ASAP because of risk of infection. I was really crestfallen because I wanted to avoid medications- still the whole infection thing got me more worried about the baby than about getting a natural birth.
I asked a lot of questions and wanted all the risks explained. The doctor was quite nice and sympathetic about it - in contrast to my MW who was clearly starting to get annoyed by my questioning (sorry, my body and my birth - I need to understand what the hell is going on). Doctor assured me that risk of ending up with a C-section is really low because I'm already 8 cm dilated and completely effaced. Baby was really low too. I asked the MW for 15 minutes to recollect but she just curtly said "no time for that".
So by 10 pm, after I received antibiotics, I was hooked up and started receiving oxytocin (funny, they don't use pitocin here - I explicitly asked). Thankfully, baby's heart rate went down to normal after the antibiotics. After this point things went very smoothly. I was quite surprised to see that the contractions were not more painful with the administered oxytocin. They finally got closer and I felt DP and I were doing an awesome job of going through them - I was sitting on the birthing ball and even joking in between. MW was very quiet and constantly leaving the room - I had hoped for more emotional support from her - ah well. Finally by almost midnight, contractions really picked up and now they were taking all my focus to get through them. I had the urge to lie down. I went with it and I lied down on the left side. After a few contractions, a pop sound came up and my water finally broke with a huge gush.
OMG - the moment the water broke, the urge to push hit me like a train and I panicked - just like my first birth. It was so intense, I lost my cool and started saying "no I don't want to do this anymore..". I jumped on all fours and couldn't think/see anymore, DP was holding me tight and repeating all the stuff we practiced for this moment. The fetal monitor fell out and I don't know what the $%§$& hit her, MW started ordering me to do this and that so she can put it back on. I told her I can't move because of the intensity/pain and all she said to me was "I have to do my job here!". After she insisted a few more times in the midst of a contraction, I snapped at her (I was really polite until that point) and told her to get her hands off, I can't right now. She got so upset she stood up, and just announced something like "I can't work like this" and proceeded to leave the room . All I remember is DP shouting with a furious voice at her to get back in right this instant. She scurried back into the room. Thankfully the doctor also came in at that point. By then DP's words "relax your hands, relax your jaw, imagine yourself opening up" finally got through, I stopped freaking out and just gave in. I lay again on my side and was screaming "AAAARRRRRRR" - it helped so much. MW for some reason told me not to push - HA, like I was pushing, I wasn't doing anything on purpose anymore. My body took over and he was born five minutes later after only 2 contractions. It was an awesome feeling to see him come out.
Unlike my first birth where I felt so wiped out and exhausted - this time I really felt elated and just so happy (like my mom used to tell me). They put him on my chest and I was in seventh heaven - despite MW's behaviour. She did not say another word to us but did everything so very textbook-like (as in someone making sure they don't do anything wrong).
The next day I have a letter delivered from her and oh my, it was two pages of personal attacks, petty remarks and outright false statements with way too many explanation marks. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the letter is written by a pissed off teenager. I called DP in tears telling him about it. He came, saw the letter and disappeared. He told me later he went to the hospital MW office and called the state MW association. He filed a complaint and sent them a copy of the letter. He said I have the option of filing a complaint against her with the ministry of health but I decided not to in the hope the hospital and at the association will follow up on her. Except for her behaviour, the birth went very smoothly and fast - and I was enjoying my time alone with DS.
Oh wow, this story turned out longer that I thought! Ooops. I was a bit disappointed that the birth was still not drug-free but all-in-all I'm happy with how it went, and I'm happier that baby boy is healthy and no infection set in.
Here's one more picture from his birthday:
It's unfortunate, but midwives who work in hospitals are a different kind of midwife. They are trained to work in hospital, trained to intervene, aren't allowed to use alternative therapies, and often people have the same problems with them as they do with OBs...it's a whole other world with homebirth midwives and people lump them altogether. Of course, there are bad homebirth midwives too but in my experience they are really about supporting women.
Thanks for sharing your story, LilyKay! Congratulations on a smooth birthing process...despite the midwife! (To just walk out! ) Sounds like your husband was great support and an important advocate for you. Go, Daddy! I am also glad to hear the OB was support and able to good good information. Also, very thankful that you and baby are doing well and without infection. Baby Leander is soooooooooooo handsome.
Great birth story Lily and Congrats!!!
I had a pretty awful midwife with my first birth. I was 41w6d, first baby, being induced (they played the big baby card) and she started saying things like "you really need to think about whether or not this baby is going to come out of your vagina" ?!?!?! He and I were both doing fine, everything was just going slow and she was inpatient. I ended up with an unnecesarean a few hours later :(
So glad your birth turned out ok despite the sucky midwife!
Thanks everyone! Funny thing this MW is a freelancer that I hired to support me. HA! Some support. DP was really my rock and he's probably the reason I'm not too upset about her. He acted sort of as a buffer. And the irony was that the hospital staff were so nice and supportive - I actually enjoyed my stay and opted for an extra day. They also helped me find another MW who works directly with the hospital and she's doing the visits now for postpartum.