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What would you do?

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

Hi mamas! ADVICE PLEASE- I practice attachment parenting and breastfeed my almost 2 year old daughter (2 late January).  She is a mama's girl big time.  My own mother (who I have been working on rebuilding a relationship with) just won an all inclusive massively fancy trip to NYC (Broadway tickets too!) and wants to pay for me and my sister to go.  I'd be gone almost 4 days early Feb.  I keep saying I can't, she doesn't listen.  She says its a once in a life time thing, and I agree.  I WANT to go badly, how amazing!  BUT should I?  Honestly I feel guilty just thinking about being gone that long. Oh the other hand, I have been wanting to transition my girl to her own bed or night wean soon(she nurses WAY too much at night while we cosleep and I'm exhausted all the time) and keep encouraging Daddy to be more confident and independent in his parenting.  Maybe this trip would be good for all of us?  Or maybe it'd be torture.  HELP!  I have to decide asap.

post #2 of 6
I can't give advice on night weaning or transitioning from cosleeping (because I haven't done either) but I can tell you about going on trips smile.gif When my DD was 23 months old, I went out of state for a work training for 4 days. I was beyond stressed. DD did fine. She stayed with my parents who kept her busy so she was plenty tired (my mom watches her while I work, so she's very comfortable with her). And when I got back she never missed a beat with nursing (I had to pump to avoid mastitis while I was gone). She's 25 months now, nurses once per night and is starting to cut back on her own nursing during the day.
post #3 of 6

I've got an attached LO who has a hard enough time getting to sleep if I'm out for dinner with a friend (and it's only happened 2 or 3 times in her 2yrs of existence) and she's home with DH so it's def a personal thing - for me it wouldn't work.  I did just take a trip to SC with her and mother that my mother paid for as a birthday present to visit my sister, DH stayed home because of work, slightly different because she was with me, but no way she was staying home for week without me.  But I just couldn't see going anywhere for any length of time right now.  Then again we've just transitioned her to her toddler bed, AND she's potty training, AND she still nurses to sleep at night after waking up to potty AND she's cutting 2yr molars.... she never seems to do any sort of "milestone" one at a time so this is the norm for us to be in a state of chaos, then a few weeks of calm, only to gear up for more changes.  I would try and decide which one you'd feel worse about missing - your LO or the trip.  If one or the other will just tear you apart then go with what your gut says.

post #4 of 6
Just my own experience here, but I started doing 24 hr shifts at the hospital when my DS was that age. I struggled but he actually went to sleep much easier in his own bed when his sitter was there and I wasn't. Now when I'm home, it's a totally different story! So for me personally, I would lean towards going in a 4 day trip without the kiddo. I think he would be fine.
post #5 of 6
I went on a four day trip in August. DS was 15 months. I was BFing several times a day but struggling with supply. DH was terrified that he would be up all night soothing a screaming baby.

Results: I had a rejuvenating trip, DH said it wasn't nearly as bad as he feared and even agreed we could do it again sometime. Now regarding BFing, by the third day I was only able to pump a half ounce of milk. From then until now I only nurse once a day, when DS wakes in the early morning. That is definitely my biggest regret. But honestly, I would do it again. For three nights I slept straight through from when I laid down until the alarm went off. It was heavenly and I needed it.

We did also consider me taking DS and a nanny/mother's helper along. Maybe you could explore that option?
post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 

These are all so helpful.  We are at an empass with DD's sleep right now, and mine.  She is incredibly difficult to get to go to sleep or stay asleep and with how exhausted I have been, Daddy has been stepping up to help.  While he isn't as used to being sleep deprived as I am, (@MLog I didn't even THINK about the sleep I could get!) and gives up and brings her to me for "nanas", he is trying hard to be involved.  So I am leaning towards taking the trip, mostly to empower Daddy and take a much needed break (we've been talking about a second baby!).  I just have to clearly line out what we need to do with DD between now and then and follow through.  Thank you everyone for the advice and stories, they have really been helping!

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