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Dingo Bells, Dingo Bells, Dingo all the Way!!!! - Page 6

post #101 of 213
crap. I had exactly one hour to sit and catch up, which I did by reading 3 days of posts, then wrote my long post and and it's gone. greensad.gif

In short, hugs all around, rr: 3 yesterday and today, part run and part walk.
post #102 of 213
lofty - I hate when that happens.

Nic - echoing what Real said, have you tried a gluten free diet with your DS? I know lots of anecdotal stores of GF helping ADHD symptoms. Are there any charter school options in your area? Does the public school at least offer gifted services?

Big News ~ Jake the Prodigal Cat has returned! DS saw him in a friend's garage about 5 blocks from our house so I went over there and sure enough, one extra skinny, super sick cat. Apparently he's been in her garage for the last 3 days, but who knows where he was for the 4 weeks before that. He looks like hell and smells worse. He's spending tonight at the vets getting rehydrated and having bloodwork done. And since the estimate is $700, that's my Christmas present.
post #103 of 213
Welcome back Jake the cat!!!!

My flu shot seems to have given me some under-the-weather-ness, and the long dark days and change to rain hasn't helped. I went to faculty retreat brunch today and felt welcomed and excited about the new job. Moved into my office this afternoon- three big boxes of books and binders from my home office with 1-2 more to go. Epidemiology/biostats final exam tomorrow, then I'm pretty free for the rest of the month, save a few hospital shifts and the array of Christmas stuff. Tomorrow will include bootcamp for sure!
post #104 of 213

MelW - I hear you on the unwelcome transition to rain. gloomy.gif  Glad that you got a good vibe in the new office though!

 

JG - Yay Jake!  I hope that $700 turns out to be more than necessary and that he's back up and purring on your lap for a happy holiday.

 

Lofty - I'm still :dizzy thinking about your commute to and fro from different activities!  

 

Nic - Hear! Hear! on the diet modifications (or is it Here! Here!?) Anyway, knowing how wonderful dropping the grains is for so many of us here it sounds like a worthwhile experiment.  I certainly see big changes in disposition in my girls depending on their intake (and mine).

 

Speaking of potential duh.gif moments - I was mentioning to someone how once i wake up I need to get right out of bed because I'm so uncomfortable and my hip pain is so nagging and she said, "Could it be your mattress?"  Um, yeah now that you mention it!  So we'll try switching ours out for our guest bed (sorry guests!) and see if anything changes.  Wouldn't that be nice?  I realized today that I haven't slept through the night without a pm med in ages because my stupid hip wakes me up every time I try to turn over.

Fingersx for results!

 

RR: Boxed but my mojo was elsewhere.  But at least my body was there, right?

post #105 of 213

Welcome back, Jake the Cat! JayGee, I hope he recovers well and doesn't worry you again.

 

Nic, especially if you think some of the behavior issues are sensory...you know yourself the anxiety that is wrapped into gut issues. I just wonder whether a layer could be eliminated or lightened with dietary changes. And :Hug. There is always banghead.gif involved in the school picture. Even with home ed. We're all negotiating trade-offs, all the time.

 

All my good intentions...and I had pizza with the kids last night. At least I went with the good stuff, and not some schlocky Papa John's or something. Still, back to the start here. But dd's bday has been addressed (early), and all is well. Dh is back in the country, I have an appointment to get my passport fixed so I should get the visa in it before having to drive to Oman again, and the kids birth certificates are back, so they should get their visas this week, too.

 

This weekend brings the first application deadlines, and the feedback from my profs has me weighing my odds of getting into a selective program. If I do, then what? Those are fully funded. But also full res. And some are 3 years, not 2. No sense in worrying now, with absolutely nothing in hand, but...it will be in the back of my mind for the next several months.

 

Kids loved the Hobbit movie.

post #106 of 213

Hi mamas.

 

I know that I should get serious with ds about diet stuff (gluten, maybe dairy) and I am altogether loathe to go there because he is so gluten/dairy-centric. and so skinny. I really don't know what he will eat, as we call him the 'noodletarian.' Which is not an excuse not to do anything, just me whining about how hard it would be. Sigh.

 

Do you know, I feel somewhat bombarded by the overwhelming plethora of information coming at me re: possible helpful (or not) ways to deal with ADHD (diet? medication? chinese herbs? fish oil? vitamins? specific behavioral plans?) and I just am kind of wanting to crawl into my bed and stay there and cry. Which is so, so cowardly. And of course I won't, but I don't really know where to start.

 

And then, my big question also: how do I know what is normal 8 year old boy stuff (behavior, aversion to school/sitting in one place/boredom, wanting to be building/running outside/something besides doing spelling) and what is ADHD-related? Do teachers even know that, conditioned as they are to the paradigm of 'you sit, I speak' without much regard for normal variation? What *is* normal variation? What are realistic expectations of ANY 8 year old boy, and what are realistic expectations of a kid with ADHD for the same tasks?

 

These are things that just make me go :dizzy. And help.gif

 

And also, in my own teaching. Perhaps *I* have been unrealistic, rigid, unhelpful with my ADHD kids, although I try very hard to accommodate (when I know about it, which is not always the case). What can *I* realistically expect from them, and at what ages (because there's so much change physically/emotionally/socially/cognitively between 14-18)? I also don't know this, and that leaves me feeling professionally at sea and floundering just as much as with my boy.

 

Struggling, mamas. Really having a hard time holding it together today. I apologize for the whine fest.

post #107 of 213

Nic, you are amazing! This is hard, hard stuff with a lot of conflicting opinions and information. It's okay to decide what you want to and can do for right now that works for your family for right now. Other people make different decisions, and you may make different decisions in the future, but take whatever steps are the most *right* for your family in this moment. Only you know that. Suggestions that come from the dingoes come out of love, not judgment, and we are all to support whatever choices you make with/for your DS for nutrition/school/whatever. :grouphug

 

Plady, I hope the mattress makes a big difference. I was telling my husband this morning that I just want to sleep all night in my own bed most of the time. He can't co-sleep with the 4-year-old who kicks (his sleep is bad enough without any outside interference) so I've been joining her in the bottom bunk on a crummy mattress for the past 3 1/2 years (minus 8 months when he was working away and I let her co-sleep in our bed). I think we're going to work toward more independent sleep for her for the sake of my hip/shoulder. Funny co-sleeping story: last weekend she had climbed into our bed in the middle of the night and I didn't bother to head back to her bed with her. I ended up sleeping right on the edge of the bed in an effort to have her on "my" side and less disruption of my husband's sleep. Early in the morning she gave me a big shove, so I decided I would go sleep in the spare bed in the office, until I found my husband was already sleeping there. Somehow the 4 year old had taken over the *entire* queen bed and left both of us wandering around the house looking for other places to sleep :lol

 

jo, I'm thinking of all of your applications landing on the desk of an eager committee and hoping that you have a range of excellent choices to make. My oldest is very excited about the Hobbit.

 

lofty wave.gif

post #108 of 213
Thread Starter 
Nic - what sense do YOU get from him? It helps me to try to tune into my intuition/gut (not trying to be punny) about my DS when I have started to feel overwhelmed by possibilities. I have never thought my DS had adhd b/c he is so very capable of persisting in activities that he cares about, and I mean, persistent. So if it wasnt that, then what? Mine has several other characteristics that seem related, but I couldnt figure out how for a long time (and its an ongoing process as he grows and changes). You mention sensory stuff, what about social stuff; how does he get along with peers? How does he communicate (with family and others?). Etc etc. What does your gut tell you about him?

My computer is glitching. Ill have to come back later
post #109 of 213
Back again and this time I'm copying the entire post before submitting, just in case.

Mel and Plady, oy on the sleeping pain! I do hope it's the mattress. My pharmacist friend has exactly 1 mattress that she can sleep on w/o hip pain, some kind of super expensive something. Posturepedic? The right mattress can make all the difference!

Nic, no judgment here. Only you will know what is right and you probably won't know it immediately, but through trial and error. At least that's been my experience. My ds1 is def on the Adhd/odd spectrum but it seems to come and go. When he's in it, he's way in it and drives me batty. When it's gone, it's heavenly. If I tell you what made a difference for my son, please don't think I think you should do the same with your child. Really, it's just a matter of sharing ideas, but I do know how overwhelming even that can be. So research some and observe some. You are excellent at both. Some will make sense. Some won't. Some may be worth considering. It's a process.

Here's a bit of my story, written only to make you feel less alone. I'm wary of being judged, too. Past odd behaviors: lights off & on x no of times. Up and down stairs x no of times. Eye-rolling. Eye-blinking. Throat-clearing (insanely so). Okay, that's a few that happened periodically over several years. Also, he loves the sand on the beach in NY. As in eats it. Meat-eater. I tried simultaneously making diet modifications and reducing his anxiety. Diet - adding fermented veggies and fish oil. Anxiety - reducing transitions, crowds, bookwork. Between 5 &7yo, he hated reading / writing so much that we both melted almost daily. It was the worst of the worst in which we were both miserable. Afraid he would hate reading and writing forever, I stopped trying to coerce his reading and correct his writing, and waited for a sign that he was ready. It was a gut instinct. He needed to live slowly, very slowly. He needed to not "go" like I like to "go." When his odd tendencies return, I look at our schedule and check his diet. I am in the "gut" camp. There may be one thing that his specific gut needs. I am also in the slow-down-and-let-them-be-boys camp, altho that didn't work with my other son. Moral to the story: research. observe. listen to your own gut. There is no judgment here. What works for your son is specific for your son. I know others wouldn't have made the choices I made, but I know I made the right choices for him. You will make the right choices for your son, even if it takes some trial and error.

Have I mentioned how much time I'm driving lately? 6 hours one day, 4 the next, 2 the next, so many long trips - all of them rushed. and all within the new confinements of school hours. Bad news - I'm undoing all my years of being 1- car or car-free in Austin. In other areas, I am f-i-n-a-l-l-y getting some clarity. Clarity that doesn't close like the aperture on a camera. Clarity that stays wide open, lets in more light and stays that way. Finally.

RR: 3 Wed, 3 Th, 3 today. All run/walk. But more run than walk. And my computer is acting wonky, so I'm going to post before it crashes.
post #110 of 213
Epidemiology/biostats exam done this morning, which was the last thing for my classes this semester. My plans to submit final paperwork and finish this semester's teaching work was thwarted by a bomb threat that closed the college campus for the afternoon. Bootcamp was also a fail. I made it through warm-up and some stretching when my four year old pushed her sister off a mini jungle gym play structure (after a first warning about aggressive behaviour) and I bailed before further damage. The oldest is bruised, but okay. The youngest needs a good nights sleep, preferably not with me in her bed. I'm trying to show my disappointment, but not be overly b!t€#¥ about the situation. Lofty, I'm glad clarity is coming. I hope you have some terrific podcasts or music for all of your driving hours!
post #111 of 213

MelW, bomb threats make me so mad. Seriously. splat.gifLike, possibly a little strangely and unduly upset. Still, that sucks and I hope you get around it quickly. Thanks for the positive grad school vibes. I am trying not to play out scenarios in my head.

 

Lofty, I am so happy that the darkness is clearing. That is too much driving for comfort, fo sho. Could you do audiobooks during the times when you're alone and driving? To at least add something you love to the required drive? I think you're brave to add your story to the conversation.

 

Plady, I x-posted with you yesterday. But yes, fingersx on the mattress! Do you remember (not that I'd expect anyone to remember but me) my hip pain of 2011? Well, I do, and in my case it was absolutely radiating low back pain that seemed to be tracing a line down the IT band. It was when I would lie down (finally) to sleep (those were rough months, when we were getting ready to move) that it would hurt, and it was excruciating. For me it resolved through diet and 2+-hour daily barefoot walks on the beach. Whatever path your healing comes along, I hope it comes soon.

 

Nic, no judgment. I was chatting with a mom of several kids on the spectrum (in a larger group) and someone brought up elimination diets. I could sense the fear--of trying to find other foods her son might eat, of working through that process of change on top of all the other things she has to manage (more than enough!), that it could be a fraught practice that leads to nothing. Plus, the fear that she was being judged in that moment, for making/not making that choice...on top of the feeling of being judged every time she goes out in public with several children with autism. It's not fair. But I think that the phase of crawling under a blanket and crying has its place in being productive with solutions. Your mind is working through things, even if you feel paralyzed. It's simmering in there, and one morning you'll wake up with the first steps you'll want to take, and it won't all seem so impossible.

 

Did I mention dd and her friend baked cookies? I think the kids will take the rest down to our building reception for the workers. They have to go.

 

I am signed up for more yoga tonight, but dh wants to go to Dubai late afternoon. I'd love to send him with the kids, but he is so irritable that I am afraid it would end badly. He got out of the car yesterday in traffic, after we were nearly T-boned, and that was after two near-sideswipes by @$$wipes. I don't need him getting into it with the wrong person and ending up in jail. We need a break from the city. Possibly also from the Middle East.

post #112 of 213
JayGee--glad the cat is back, but ouch!

MelW--how very exciting to move in to your new office!

Plady--Hopefully the new mattress does the trick. It make ssense.

1jooj--yum, cookies! But I hear you--best to get them away.

Nic--FWIW, my guess that he's "more" is probably accurate. There is a noticeable difference between the intensity and energy levels of most of our third graders and the majority of the kids in our GT third-grade class. It's a spectrum, but behaviors tend to be a bit more pronounced among that population. They're more sensory, more active, more loud, etc. Some of them need more scaffolding, more direction to stay on task, more direction to move from one task to a different one. A school that offers good socio-emotional support may be your best bet for now. Also fwiw, don't beat yourself up about past students. {{hugs}}

lofty--try not to think too much about the driving. It is what it is, and it's temporary in the long run. Clarity is worth the sacrifice.

MelW--sorry to hear about the bomb threat. Apparently it's that time of year. I'll take the bomb threat and raise you another school shooting, here, today.

I don't even know what to say about the shooting, other than it was the second year in a row that I was getting ready for R's birthday party and frosting a cake and praying that kids will be ok, that they'll be reunited with their parents, that these will stop. This one was at a high school in Littleton, not far from Columbine but thankfully not actually in our district (I hate writing that too). Shooter is dead, one girl was in serious condition, one or two others also injured though whether by gunfire is not clear.

I hate the phrase "active shooter situation." I don't want to see any more pictures of relieved parents and crying children. I don't want to think about how agonizing the wait is while they go to the pick-up destination and wait and pray, because I already know that as soon as my sister called and said "I don't know if you heard," my first thoughts before she could finish were "not at HH, please not at HH." And I hate the fact that it took place on a day when my state senator stepped down--because she had resigned her seat in order to thwart a recall effort. Why the recall? Because she voted for universal background checks before gun purchases and also voted to limited the amount of bullets in a magazine. I drove past their signs, encouraging people to "protect their 2nd amendment rights" at least twice a day to get to R's school. The horrible, ugly, stupid irony of it all.
splat.gifbrokenheart.gif

4 miles on the treadmill helped, but not nearly enough. The fact that the school board meeting ran until 11:30 last night and the three of the new members may very well have violated sunshine laws isn't helping.
post #113 of 213

Oh, real. That's all just terrible. I'm sorry. And yes, I think you have it pegged. "More", indeed. Turn the brightness up on the display screen two clicks past 'normal' and there you have him.

 

Thanks for the kind words, mamas.

 

I read a book cover to cover last night and I think it goes right up there with "Raising your spirited child" for being the go-to. For me, it's the tack I'm going to take at least for the time being as far as action plans. I HIGHLY recommend it, even if your children aren't necessarily challenged by attention issues, because it speaks to every kid. http://www.amazon.com/Fire-Child-Water-Understanding-Self-Esteem-ebook/dp/B007CJJBXY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1387026586&sr=1-1&keywords=fire+child+water+child  It was recommended by a fellow MDC mom who is now a holistic pediatric neurologist (with an MD and advanced training in both allopathic and holistic medicine) in NYC. 

 

Expecting a big snowstorm here later...

post #114 of 213
Thread Starter 
Nic - I could use a book. DS got his semester report card yesterday and greensad.gif Its Montessori, so written as a narrative, and not only was the "social/emotional" part the same as last time (as far as issues) but he is doing worse, and to top it off, the teacher sounded resigned. Literally, I just felt like the writing exuded a huge heaving sigh. Not that I blame the teacher. He has been working with DS for 3 years now on these things and I'm sure he is out of ideas and patience. But to hear that its worse. I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel like there is truly a gap in DS' apprehension of hos own behavior and how it falls among others. He too is more, as you say; louder, intense, impatient, etc. but also more persistent, smarter (or a sharper intellect, 'gets' things quicker than his older sister) etc. We cant talk him through this, as in coach him on how to behave. Carrots and consequences just dont have any resonance. So, yeah, I dont know. And to top it off, the gifted teacher doesnt see these behaviors b/c she is doing fun (challenging) things in there. So she has no insight into what to do. And yeah, he may not be as interested in the mainstream class, but he needs to be able to deal, to compromise, to get along. That's life. Period. And he isent tolerant of that. Its mostly his way or the highway greensad.gif

Lofty - oh may your aperture open wider and wider !

Real - Oh man, that is so awful. Count another bomb threat here last week, that closed several buildings on campus and a few streets (we live in the campus neighborhood, though not on the side this happened). Yes, this country has an illness when it comes to guns

MelW - yay for being done. Sorry about the fail. It will come. Enjoy the break

NRR: must get going. DS' birthday party today. Lots of 9 year old boys at my house. Not incredibly excited redface.gif Especially after the week Ive had. So bad I wouldnt even write it on yahoo b/c I dont want to relive it in any way. Sadly, its not the first time and probably wont be the last. Have I mentioned that this has been the hardest year of my life by miles. Jan. will make one year. Ok, off to get the troupes in order ....
post #115 of 213

Sparkle, :Hug. Hang in there, mama. Read that book, it might give you a little insight. If not, no harm no foul.

post #116 of 213

Sparkle, has the classroom teacher talked to the gifted teacher?  I would ask for help from the gifted teacher.  I suspect this teacher would have see the situation before...

 

We started in a Montessori program at our school, but switched to the traditional, largely because we decided that we wear out a teacher after a year.  After a year, my kids seem to need a new bag of tricks to be successful.

 

My reading on ADHD:  It's real.  It's over diagnosed.  It's underdiagnosed.  It's over treated.  It's under treated.  It's mistreated.  The risks of not treating it can be significant wrt anxiety, life skills, and self control.  It is, in short, an area fraught with peril.   Good data and a doctor who you trust are key.

post #117 of 213
I am so, so grateful for what you all share about your kids. I see my youngest in many of these stories, and though it's hard to separate four-ness from personality/quirks/other, I'm grateful for letting me peer down your various kids and families paths.

Nic, stay safe in the storm.

Sparkle, sending lots of hugs and hope for birthday party survival.

Real, the shooting and associated politics sound terrifying and heartbreaking. Ugh.

RR- 7km flat trail run in the rain. It's the trail I'm contemplating for a DIY trail half next year.

NRR- My four year old is oh-so-four and totally hyped about everything Christmas. I'm counting telling her sister that she's going to hit her before starting swinging as a major success in the realm of "using your words". That said, she was wonderful and sweet whole grocery shopping with me, and told me about feeling guilty for shoving big sis off the play gym yesterday. She also burned her forehead because she couldn't believe me that the advent candle was hot and felt too compelled to run an experiment by dipping her face into it. Ups and downs, often rapidly cycling.
post #118 of 213
wave.gif

As always, grouphug.gif to all.

jaygee~I am so glad that kitty came back and am also hoping that the vet estimate was high.

melw~Congrats on the new office.

Many, many hug.gif to nic and sparkle and lofty and all those struggling.

It's been quite a week here. Up and down and all over the place. I did, in fact, give in to being sick. I worked Wednesday night, sneezing and sniffling and feeling progressively worse all night long. Slept my usual 6 hours on Thursday and woke up feeling like poo. So, I did something that I almost never do, and called in sick. Slept 10 hours that night, got up, took DS to school, and went back to bed for 3 more hours yesterday morning. After which I felt slightly more human. We had the tri club holiday party last night, which was a lot of fun, but we didn't stay out very late, since C had to be at work at 3 am. For the third day in a row. Have I mentioned that he works for FedEx? And while he's not a driver, it's all hands on deck this time of year. Tis the season. rolleyes.gif Nonetheless, it was a very fun party, and I looked pretty smoking hot, if I do say so myself. Even if I couldn't walk in my ridiculously amazing 5 inch heels. For which the price of wearing was apparently having feeling in the middle toes of both feet. It was worth it. orngtongue.gif

rr~I got a fabulous 7 mile run in this morning with a long-lost friend. We just happened to connect on FB yesterday and she mentioned that she was running this morning and I thought...hey! I can do that! (ds was having a sleepover due to the party last night) So, I had a lovely hour long chatfest while running and getting caught up on life.

And then it was home for cookie baking for the cookie exchange party with girls from work. I have entirely too many delicious cookies in my house, which I will probably eat way too many of. Sigh.
post #119 of 213

So, as the snow started to come down last night we took our pickup truck (in the winter I am glad dh bought this for the triathlon stuff) out to Bright NIghts, which is a holiday light display you drive through in Forest Park (Springfield). It was lovely with the snow falling. I must admit to having an inordinate fondness for all kinds of Christmas lights and decorations and cookies (gluten free of course), etc. and wish I could have them/put them up, despite having no religious/cultural desire to actually celebrate Christmas. I realize that is odd. Alas, I am odd.

I must report this morning that I win the Badass Hardcore Dingo of the Day award (which I will happily share :blowkiss )  My friend Mike and I went running at 6:30 in the 8-inch snow. Granted, the roads were (sort of) plowed. As in, down to an inch or so. And we had to ditch a few times into a snowbank while the plows rolled by. He did 10 (2 miles up and back to/from my house) and I did 6. I felt those 6 were quite the accomplishment.

 

Then I shoveled half my driveway. I wish I could call it a 10 mile workout because it sure as sugar felt like one, but alas, only 6 road miles. 

 

I was pretty layered up and I made a rather alarming picture -- thin knee socks under my wool running socks, my heavier running tights under my 14-year-old-but-still-effective-if-very-large-on-me-and-high-waisted swishy swashy nylon/jersey lined Nike waterproof pants, three layers on top (under armor turtleneck compression shirt, l/s dingo running shirt, and heavy fleece), fleece hat, fleece gloves, fleece gaiter. (It was still snowing and under 20* and windy when I went out). Wore my older (bright purple) running shoes. I was fine (except when the wind blew...yikes) but when I got home, my hat and gloves were totally frozen crusted over.

 

Hot coffee, warm sweats, and a plate of scrambled eggs bag.gif because I had no tofu in the house and was craving protein as if I was starving and it felt so amazingly good that I don't know what I'm going to do with some cinnamon raisin gluten free toast. :yum

 

I have no plans to go out today if I can help it. I have a new book (Sue Grafton), and dh is taking the kids sledding. Wish I could have a Dingo or twelve over for coffee!

post #120 of 213

Subbing :bgbounce

 

Hi mamas, I'm glad I found you all! I'm a 40yo running mama, working on improving my half marathon time- 1:52:34 is my PR and I raced last weekend with a time of 1:56:31. Ugh. Goal is to set a new one this year! I race a few 5 and 10Ks over the spring/summer just for fun and would like to break my 5K PR this year, too (24:43). Looking forward to getting to know all of you!!

 

Hope everyone who wants to is able to get a run in today :)

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