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Dingo Bells, Dingo Bells, Dingo all the Way!!!! - Page 8

post #141 of 213

It's a major Dinglet bday season! birthday.gif My dd turns 10 on Friday too. Our anniversary is a couple days after that.


And yes, Plady, I feel that grief, too. It runs back and forth between me and both kids, and some days, it is so hard. And I also feel like I have to negotiate and soften dh's experience with it (because he clearly doesn't think about it as much as he reacts to it). Some examples? Orthodontics, foreign language aptitude, athletic skills/interests. It seems so silly.


MelW, I liked what you did there. Running on themes this week, huh?


So I think we have the visas sorted. That is, I have mine, and we got the kids' at least applied for, possibly also approved, yesterday. I don't know how it ended, though, because I bailed after 5 hours to get home and help the kids with their work...and then I wasn't going to ask dh how it went when he got home. He's had a ridiculous week, in terms of work, and I like to encourage him to drop that baggage at the threshold. Regardless, I have a visa on one of my new passport pages (yay, even if they spelled my name wrong on it, I totally do not care), and I am sure they are better about grace with kids than with adults, and we are not driving to Oman.


The break in weather is allowing me to focus on school with the kids and still get outside in the afternoon without the weather being too hot for a nice run. Plan is to get out again with the kids this afternoon.

post #142 of 213

Happy birthday to all the dinglets!!


I managed a run today, though not the one I thought I would fit in between work and school pick ups. After school I insisted the kids bike while I run on a warm (8C/46F)  day in the last minutes of daylight. We did 2 or 3 km, so short and sweet and enough to keep me sane. I'm at home with my youngest tomorrow and hoping that I can convince her to ride her smaller bike and hit the trails for a short run.


The washing machine is bailed and ready for the repairman in the morning. I should be able to do the repair myself, but don't have the time/energy to figure it out right now.


Geo, kerc and other STEM-women, have you seen this: http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/11/30/247842138/science-reporter-emily-graslie-reads-her-mail-and-it-s-not-so-nice

post #143 of 213
Originally Posted by kerc View Post

Just mental chewing here, but there is some benefit to having kids perform stuff outside of the "mainstream", no?  Like the whole idea that hey, there is an "other". In the academic world we see the term "inclusive excellence" bantered around -- the idea that everyone/culture/etc is equally important and should be/feel included. Conceptually I get it. In practice, I'm back at what you just said -- is this stuff just lip service or can we do it right? 

I would love love love to see a Native American opening to our holiday concert. Because the largest minority (still tiny) is Ojibwe  where my kids go to school.
This would be good--provided the Ojibwe would like to see that themselves and they oversee the performance. A lot of American Indian groups do not want their music performed in public for historical and religious reasons, among others. I don't know enough about Ojibwe practices to know whether that's the case there, but if such a thing were to happen, the tribe would need to be consulted and probably to direct that music. Without that, a number of questions are raised, including what the source is for the piece. Is it some melody "traditionally ascribed" (read: white person said so) to a tribe? Is it music that the tribe has said can be played for all audiences? Among many tribes, music has literal power to make things happen--like a rain dance, for example. Early [white] researchers ignored this and recorded pretty much whatever they wanted, but there are very strict rules around ethnographic research now for that very reason. So yes, we can do it right but it's not as simple as finding a transcription of an Ojibwe piece, teaching the kids to sing it and in all likelihood, using an accompaniment that was never part of the original song (i.e., piano or a Plains-Indian style drum despite the fact that the Ojibwe were not Plains Indians).

Not all cultures need quite that degree of sensitivity, of course. With African musics, one typically doesn't need permission to perform music, but doing it well requires a pretty good grasp of polyrhythms and enough knowledge to know which instruments are typically used. Our school choir did an "African-derived" song on our winter concert two weeks ago: Tuimbe. This video clip isn't our choir, but it illustrates my point: the text is in Swahili and English, and the accompaniment is piano, clave and what sounds a lot like a conga drum. The conga and clave are African-derived but they're Afro-Cuban instruments, not African. (The piece didn't specify percussion. Also, it is very much in a Western time signature, which any traditional African music is not.) Swahili is a language found most commonly in East African countries, but the clave pattern is derived from the music of West African countries where a bell pattern underlies the time cycle. East African music tends to use xylophones or xylophone-like patterns. In our performance, we used a gourd rattle, a bell (played on beats 2 and 4...which is syncopated but clearly not "African" in any real sense), and maracas--which are definitely Latin-derived and quite possibly indigenous to South American cultures. I may have been the only one there who knew this, but it also means the song itself and most performances of it will casually mix Western (piano, time signature, tonality) with Latin American and African instruments and little to no knowledge that they're doing it. Is that a problem? Not necessarily, but it's a very Western way of doing music from other cultures, and one that might allow us to be a little too easily satisfied that we've been "diverse."
Originally Posted by MelW View Post

JI'm lucky to live in a part of the world that very consistently acknowledges the first nations whose traditional territory that we live/work/hold events on. We also have a small, but strong, multicultural association that works hard to focus on the sharing of culture where each group brings their own traditions to share. We're headed to a multicultural solstice celebration later this week (see, light!!) that involves a sharing of many traditions related to light and this time of year. My girls might bring their fiddles to share their Irish/Scottish heritage.
The bolded is, IMO the ideal situation because each culture group is represented well.

Sorry for the ethnomusicology lecture. I really need a class to teach.

MelW--sorry about the wash machine!

JayGee--that sounds hard. Hopefully it will be a peaceful passing.

Happy birthday to all our December Dinglets!

RR: took the girls to zoo lights tonight because temperatures were in the 50s and fabulous. Pretty much all of Denver thought so too. lol.gif DH had a meeting and was trying to argue for not going to zoo lights this year because he feels stressed, so we went without him and had a great time. :P
Edited by Realrellim - 12/18/13 at 12:11am
post #144 of 213

Enjoying the ethomusicology talk.  Nothing to contribute, except that I think participation in some of these things is important, otherwise multiculteralism is reduced to the category of watching people with different color skin during a school assembly.  Maybe my perspective is skewed by living in 95% caucasian-ville that does 2 assemblies a year watching non-caucasians perform as many of these kids only exposure to the wider world.


So I joined the gym, along with RP and RPIT.  RPIT can't be made into a distance runner, and @#$%$ it's been cold.  Honestly, since PRIT has a parking pass, the gym at the U is pretty cheap.  We went last night.  Warm up, rowing machine, weights. As I was climbing into bed, I told DH to remind me I'd had fun because I knew I'd be hurting today.  So far, not so bad.


Happy b-days dinglets!


I find it interesting to read what makes us morn our kids imperfections.  For me, it's been the social skills that are so obviously lacking.  For my RP last night, it was her youngest's recent diagnosis of dyslexia.  His profile is remarkably similar to DD's, and she can't understand how I almost welcomed the diagnosis (getting DD the services she needed) instead of being freaked out as to the implications. 

post #145 of 213

Hello!  Sorry I have been MIA, just haven't gotten the updates to my email and have thought about checking in when I didn't have time to do so and vice versa.  DH is away and life has been sooooo relaxing.  Last Wednesday we got into an argument and he cut off our discussion and never came back to it to work it out.  Days went by and I approached him gently each day waiting for him to be "ready" and he never has been.  So he left for Colorado Monday night and I'm chillin' like a villan!!  :) He called last night and asked to say hi to me once the boys had all chatted with him.  First words out of his mouth were complaints about the work day.  Then complaints about the level of noise on my end (hello, these are your three kids you know!).  So I quickly ended that call with "well I'll let you go then".  Not going to be brought down AGAIN from a thousand miles away.  geez!! 


RR: been doing the body weight work outs and no time for running.  I do miss it but feel good that I am getting something in this holiday season. 


NRR: class party tomorrow, then on to wrapping presents and making sure we have our ducks in a row.  I'm thrilled that our holiday celebrations are contained to 3 days instead of the usual 5. 

post #146 of 213

RM, I'm glad the time to yourself has been relaxing. I hope you can get some resolution when he returns.


Lest you think I live in a totally culturally respectful part of the world, my daughter's school provides "world music" curriculum which involves playing westernized songs on marimbas and ukuleles and a variety of random African-style percussion instruments. This year involves a new teacher and significantly less Justin Bieber, so I'm happy to see the improvement.


RR- Two days in a row of running with kid(s) biking. Today was a much slower 3.5km with the youngest, except for one mad sprint down an icy street that she was having trouble slowing down on. My bootcamp trainer drove by at the maximum speed moment, making me look much faster and more ambitious than the rest of the "run" where I often had to push her and/or walk.


NRR- Spamming with a super cute Christmas video of my kids. It gives a sense of my oldest's serious intent and the youngest's energy, and most impressively how much they love each other and (sometimes) get along: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBgPixVQ8T8 (I'll probably come back and delete the link in a couple of days)

post #147 of 213
Melw- Adorable!!!!!
post #148 of 213
MelW - that was absolutely adorable! They sing very well.

re: ethnomusicology disicussion - Tuesday was the "2nd grade musical" featuring different countries. Much of what Real spoke about was evident. And they mispelled Israel on the banner rolleyes.gif. DD2 did a nice hula to "Melekeliki Maka" though lol.gif!

RM - I hope DH has some time to ponder how difficult he's being while he's away and can discuss things reasonably when he returns hug.gif.

kids imperfections - mourning many things here too. Love them dearly though smile.gif.

Jake is still hanging on, although I have no idea how since all he's done is drink water for a week now.

Lots of baking today, and an afternoon in the library. I really need to get back to a daily workout schedule of some kind. My mood and body are suffering.
post #149 of 213

MelW - They are super cute.  And thank you for the link to the link to Brain Scoop.  I passed it on to C and she's been watching it voraciously (such a welcome change from Peeta Melark pinterest pins and My Little Pony vids!!!)


JayGee - Thinking of you and hoping that you're able to feel okay about Jake.


RM - Glad you're enjoying some down time and hope that dh returns feeling ready to be a good partner.


Real - I just love your posts!  You do need a class though, you've got so much knowledge and you are so good at making clear concise connections.  I suppose you've thought about online classes?


Geo - How's the gym going?


Happy current and belated birthdays to our DInglets!  Hope the celebrations all went as hoped.  Jo, birthday steak sounds awesome!


I'm celebrating our first snow delay (and so no school for A) by soaking my weirdly swollen and incredibly sore toe in epsom salts while I catch up here and sip coffee with eggnog that C made last night.  I do not know why my toe is all of a sudden feeling like it wants to burst at the seams but I'm suspecting my 2 week old pedicure.  Is that unfair?  

I'm a little conflicted, the kids would probably love to get up to play in the snow, but they could really use the extra sleep.  Am I a horrible mom for not waking them up in case it gets rained away really soon?  Or can I wait until it's light out at least?


RR: Boxed, last class until 1/2.  But I am pretty sure my dad got me a heavy bag for Christmas and I think dh got me new gloves so I've slowly been clearing out space in the house to make a little workout area.  I also got the kids Just Dance 2014 so once that's open I have a feeling we'll be grooving out a lot.  Thank goodness too, I've been sugar bingeing like never before.  All year I've had these fancy dresses I needed to fit into out on my calendar every 4-6 months which has helped me keep a handle on my diet.  But right now I don't have anything out there on the schedule so between that and all the treats everywhere? - whoa mama!

post #150 of 213
Taking Jake to the vet for the last time. DH agreed it is best. It am sure the fact that he peed and pooped in DDs riding boots overnight helped him come to this decision. RIP little Jake candle.gif.
post #151 of 213

Sleep well Jake.  :Hug JayGee, it will be a peaceful end I'm sure.

post #152 of 213
Thread Starter 
Rest in Peace Jake candle.gifcandle.gif

NRR: having some major revelations about my kids and my health and life. Wow. This time of life, whenever it happens, is hard core all around.
The gist of the kid lightbulb (which Ive had before and somehow forgot - grrr, why!) is that the older two are insecure. Like, somehow fundamentally insecure. One (DD1) manifests it as self-consiousness, shyness, lack of assertiveness, hiding her strong opinions, etc, while the other (DS) manifests it as offensiveness (as a means of defending against loss of attention, being un-seen, un-acknowledged, maybe unloved). And of course its because of me! I see how Ive parented them to perform, to a certain degree, to be worthwhile insofar as they do and are a certain way, rather than just adoring them for whoever they are, even if they dont live up to whatever idea I had of them. I think I had this idea of what good, meta-cognitive parenting is (which involves teaching my little kids to be meta-cognitive eyesroll.gif), which would break the mold of how absent and not-paying attention my parents were, and yet Ive done it in another way. DD2, on the other hand, has always been special (and I could explain why, and how she registers this way to others as well - how many comments have I heard in her life about there being "something about her"; the most recent being this week) such that I dont expect her to be anything other than who she is, even if this means she gets her GED and becomes a yoga instructor. Why the difference, I dont know. But clearly it has had grave repercussions for the older two that I can only try to untangle now, but I fear its too late for the primal self to be changed greensad.gif Da***t greensad.gif
post #153 of 213

:Hug You're sending him off with love, JayGee. I'm sure he knows that. Maybe he came back just to ask for this nudge. Bye, Jake.


MelW, they are pretty adorable.


Plady, enjoy the sugar and then box and dance it off. You know you will. Also, I once had a toe do something like that, out of nowhere. I won't tell you too man details, but I think basically it was an injury to the side of the nail that led to an infection that got aggravated by cheap shoes + waitress job. Hot soaks worked for me, but abx would have worked faster, probably.


RM, I hope the holidays ahead are peaceful for you.


Actually, I hope this for you all. Enjoy the time with family and friends. Dh and I are having a little homesickness this week (both at once! d'oh!), so there have been phone calls and tears and a lot of commiseration. It helps to celebrate dd's bday, because then we have to suck it up because she is also emotional and missing people. She got a tablet for her bday (like a big version of my phone! I am jealous!) and is making some sweet digital art.


And yes, all the passports are back in the house, all with visas smacked in between the pages.


2014 looks like it will be, at least, interesting.

post #154 of 213
Well, great run on Tuesday followed by three days of crappy runs. Blagh.

JG, candle.gif for Jake

birthday.gif for Dinglets!

Mel, I hope I see the viddy before you take it down.

hug.gif for Sparkle

blowkiss.gif to Dingos everywhere!

Busy weekend ahead finding a space among boxes for a Christmas tree. I'm in favor of a small Charlie Brown one on top of the piano. Or even several small ones. All I really want to do is throw out stuff, clean up and rearrange. Before Christmas. Hah.
post #155 of 213

Sparkle - I hear you about the older kid/kids somehow ending up with a tougher job to get that unconditional approval whereas I'm also aware that my youngest has some sort of easy pass.  Everywhere she goes people remark to me that she is just so amazing and I feel it too, she just glows all the time.  Dd1 on the other hand tends to be anxious and unsure, gawky and awkward, tries too hard or not hard enough etc.. Is it just us, our parenting?  Is it their luck or lack thereof to be teaching us how to parent which makes them have to tread more carefully?  more consciously?  And then, I think, no, it's not just us.  My older brother is clearly the less balanced child in my family and I'm the lucky younger who didn't ever feel like I needed to prove my worth to my parents.  But we are aware of this difference, it's hard to look at and hard to know what to do about it so it can be easy to ignore, to forget.  But we do know and we do try to find work arounds for them, so stop beating yourself up - we really are trying to be good moms, and I think that more than half the time we're succeeding. :hug


Lofty - I'm on a purge kick too.  It feels good to clear out the clutter.

post #156 of 213


Jake, during better times candle.gif

I think I forgot to mention, I'm goign to NH to visit my Mom and Dad in January! I am embarassingly excited to be going on a trip by myself bag.gif

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words over the last month as I've blathered on about my Dad and my cat. May the new year bring less sickness and a LOT more running!

post #157 of 213

I'm sorry JayGee. :candle


Sparkle, please go easy on yourself. Please. Your kids may have issues as you say, but it's not just because of you. You have always done the best you know how to do, love them fiercely, and are an incredible parent and person. Please give yourself a break. :Hug


Right now I really, truly, cannot stand to be in the same room with a certain family member. And it's not one of the ones I gave birth to. disappointed.gif

post #158 of 213
JayGee, big hugs to you and your family. RIP, Jake.

sparkle, hugs for you, too. Be gentle with yourself.
post #159 of 213
Just wanted to chime in one more time before hitting the hay.

Sparkle, you are present in your kids' lives. You are present and giving and listening and open and available and there. Please do not beat yourself up. Give yourself a hug for giving so much of yourself, for all the things you do right, lovingly, and positively. Not one of us doesn't experience remorse or regrets over parenting decisions but we are all trying giving it our best effort. As you are. Hugs, exhalations, & peace.

JG, What a sweet face! How lucky for you both to experience so much love. Just this afternoon, ds2 picked up our cat and carried it around like a baby, then remarked how he can't imagine not having a cat. Our pets are significant members of the family. I think so much sorting of feelings happen when I see my boys just petting and petting and petting a pet. My heart goes out to you for your loss. I'm thrilled for you to get the chance to travel ALONE!!! What book to bring?!

So I did it. Instead of decorating and cleaning, I rearranged my office area, both entries, some bookshelves and filing cabinets, etc. I just couldn't handle bringing in a tree amidst the chaos. So I spent 5 hours today moving furniture and cleaning and tomorrow, I'll need another 3 to finish putting books back. But the purge felt great! And it will certainly be easier to bring in a tree now. Tomorrow, 4 basketball games. smile.gif
post #160 of 213
Drive by RR to brag that I made it to Friday night bootcamp despite the snow. 100 burpees later I'm tired, but excited to head back to the gym to try out the newly redone climbing wall with a fresh coat of paint and all new routes. The climbing supervisor tonight thinks I'll make progress toward getting on the ceiling with the changes.
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