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Is it normal to wonder if your child is "normal"?

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

I guess I'm just curious how common this is.  I'm a first-time mom, I don't really have much experience with children aside from my own, and ever since my DD was born I've found myself wondering over and over again whether there's something "wrong" with her.  I'm not even sure what exactly I think might be wrong!  Just...a combination of little things. So now I'm wondering...do most parents wonder about this at some point in their child's early years?  Or is the fact the I'm wondering about it a sign that there's something to wonder about?  (If it's not obvious, I think and worry a lot, so it really could just be me :) 

post #2 of 6

Good Question! Around 18 months I started wondering the same way about my DS.  I'm still wondering.  ?  shrug.gif  

post #3 of 6
I think its totally normal to wonder if your kid is normal (lol.) It gets easier when your kid is in group classes like preschool, or even mommy and me groups, because then you can verify that all this stuff is normal (and you can commiserate!)
post #4 of 6

I think trying to be around other families w/ their kids in their comfortable environment would help put it perspective. My oldest is our hardest one and I can see how differently (tempted to say normally) my middle kid is evolving compared to her. He has his own issues too but not the same magnitude of difficulty.  I'm not sure if you are worried about physical abilities or behavioral things...if its physical and eventually she gets to where you'd expect her to be, I'd be less worried but  if its behavioral it might be worth talking to someone about...pedi, child psych, even just a IRL parenting group.

post #5 of 6

You won't be surprised or get much solace from me saying that I wonder this ALL THE TIME about our girl (considering our mutual crazy-3 threads - am just about to update mine).

But yes...I do wonder this ALL THE TIME.


And I wonder if our life together as a little family is 'normal' - or if she is a tough kid (and always will be?), and we're parenting in a terrible way. Lots of doubts. Lots.

I also wonder - why us? why me?

Lots of self-pity too at the moment.


Our kid is sooooooooooo intense, that I just can't believe every kid is like this or there would be NO kids (parents would simply have to dispose of them! or leave them on the church steps or something) and no one would ever want to try and have a child. The only thing that keeps me going some days is the thought that she will grow up....slowly...one day. Until then, we're still trying to survive it all. We're first time parents too, a little older (which does not help, energy is already low) and don't have much to compare with except very recently, preschool. Where I've found that she is most definitely advanced on many levels (vocab, conceptualising etc) - but is certainly not happy-go-lucky like a lot of the other children there.


I don't like to hear/read that my kid is on the 'extreme' end of any particular spectrum (a couple of times that has been the comment in my threads)....that just makes me depressed. I do try (on a good day) to project into the future, where her brightness, crazy-stubborness, wicked wit and imagination, great verbal skills (albeit used a lot for shouting at the moment) will hold her in excellent stead as an adult or an older child.

This is what I LIKE to think anyway. I cling to it even. Cough cough.


What's going on with yours at the mo to make you question?


I could write a novel about why I ask this about mine, but who has time for a novel? Suffice it to say, sometimes she just seems simply crazy. Wondering if there is something 'wrong' with her on a given day, or in a given moment seems to occupy my every waking thought. It's ridiculously tiring.



Edited by Grover - 12/7/13 at 1:57pm
post #6 of 6

Every parent wonders. What are your concerns?



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