Do any other SAH mama's out there ever feel stuck? I LOVE being able to stay home with my 18 mo DS3 (since birth- did the same with my older DS1 and DS2 until they were close to 2). I love that I am able to be with my boys before and after school instead of putting them in extended childcare. So it's sort of a conundrum, Because I value being a SAHM and what that means. However, I feel stuck- and maybe it's just letting outside scenarios get to me too much. Maybe there is a solution that fits within my values of being home/ there for the kids.
We have a blended family of 6*- DH, Me, My two from a previous relationship- DS1 & DS2- His child from a previous relationship -DSS- and a child between is, DS3. Our children's respective families are both families of 4*. We have split custody, I tend to have my boys a lot of the time. Out of all 6 parental figures, I am the only SAHP. What this has evolved into over the past few years is that I am sort of relied upon when kids are home sick (DSS in some cases on off days), and drop offs and pick ups. when school is out for summer or holidays I have my boys the whole time and DSS more than usual. Essentially, I am available for the kids so everyone else can work and go to school. Some of this is shifting presently, but it is still more or less the same.
Recently I have just gotten to feeling like I am sitting back watching everyone else move freely- "New job? More school? Back to school? Longer hours? Why not?"- Not that working a lot is glamorous, it is more of the principle of being able to say: "I want to do this, so I'm going to." We are all trying to evolve and grow and do better by our families- a lot of motivation is getting out of the every day struggles, living paycheck to paycheck, and not knowing what the future holds. We want to clear up our debts, buy a house. I want to learn, potentially go back to school, and work again someday, for myself ideally. A bigger house, school, work, business- they all take money we don't have. Putting all of the kids in childcare would cost big. To the point it wouldn't be worth the income I could bring in now (why school would be necessary, or investing in a business etc).
I have brought up taking out more loans to finish my degree, and DH does not like the idea. I had backing to go into a year long training I wanted to do starting in January, but it just wouldn't work out without putting a big strain our immediate & respective families. I feel stuck because for as much as I have gained being home, there is also no financial growth in our household or funding for endeavors I am passionate about. I am not about to demand a change, I am posting this more to see if other SAHM's go through the same thing.
Thank you for listening!