Backstory: My son's father and I were in a brief relationship (I use that term loosely- if you read my previous posts from 2-3 years ago, you'll know what I'm talking about) and to make a very long story short, my son's father is controlling, was abusive, was harassing, threatened to kidnap my baby, just all all around narscissitic jerk. My son has had supervised visitation with him for almost 2 years now, and the visits are inconsistent, because his father is more interested in tooting his own horn that he's a father than actually spending time getting to know the child and being a father to him. Also note, I haven't received child support from him since last March, and yes, the local DTA is helping me work on that, but it's taking forever, I believe because it's between two different states.
Also note, PLEASE DON'T QUOTE ME, because I'm gonna delete this post for security reasons once I have some opinions.
My son's father emailed me last night. He wants another visit. We do visitation at the halfway point- 2 hours from home- in the children's section in a public library. The visits are two hours long. They have visitation on the 28th this month- the last one was the beginning of October. My son's father added in his email that he got my son a LeapFrog LeapPad Ultra Super Bundle for Christmas. (Note- $150.) While I'm not opposed to this- through an incredible stroke of luck, my some will be receiving his own "IPad"- Y-pad Ypad English Computer Table Learning Education Machine Tablet. (Note- sale price of $14.)- I ma opposed to the sound of his email.
1. He's too lazy to wrap it, so it will come gift wrapped. It will come uncharged, because it will be gift wrapped, and my 2 year old son will have to sit in the library while it charges before he's allowed to use it. My son's begged for an IPad, and his father's gift will be something similar, kinda like bringing a child to Disney World and telling him he needs to watch the rides for an hour before he can go on them. I don't want my son to make his father angry (there will be a supervisor, but there is also a history of abuse, and it's dangerous for my son's father to even get into his head that my son is a "bad" kid, because it may set him up for abuse in the future).
2. My son's father stated that I need to bring it every visit and have it charged every visit, because that will be their activity for visitation from now on. While I'm more relaxed on gadgets, etc, that alot of Mamas on here, that makes me uncomfortable. first of all, each visit is 2 hours long. That's a long time to be on a gadget, especially at almost 3 years old. How is my son's father supposed to learn how to parent if he just sits my son down in front of a screen the whole time? I know 2 hours is a long time to keep a 2 year old quiet in a library, even a children's library, but it's not like they don't have coloring, art projects, books, even toys in the library, for them to play with.
3. It also bothers me that it's a $150 gift for a 2 YEAR OLD and if I have to bring it to "check in" every visit, then that means I pretty much can't let my son use it any other time, because we can't risk it getting lost or broken or the battery too low.
4. Also, my son's father has NEVER taken my lead when it comes to anything for my son- I'll tell him my son likes X toys, and he will intentionally make sure X toys are not used. I will tell them that my son wants to pick out a book to check out of the library, and he will make sure they don't so it. I will tell him my son doesn't like to wear sweaters, and he will proceed to bring him new clothes the next visit- sweaters. The list goes on and on... and then here I am being told that I HAVE to do such and such with this gift, when and where and how to let my son use it?
Am I overreacting and being oversensitive?