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Wanting But Waiting 2014

post #1 of 309
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone! It is nearly the new year and the last 2013 thread petered out in September, so here is a new one for anyone who needs support or advice.


I am a 32 yo SAHM of three boys, ages 12, 2.5 and 8mo. I thought I should be done, as we have a lovely family and are very active--so DH wants us to be done so we can get past the baby stage and start to travel and camp and do a bunch of fun things together...but, I am coming to the conclusion that I do not feel done yet. I really do want to have one more child if I can. I work from home (freelance writing) and run workshops, so yes I have been enjoying the freedom that comes with not being pregnant and nursing a very young infant...so my story is that I am going to try to wait for two  years to begin TTC. I am starting this thread for support because it will be hard for me to wait that long.


I hope other joining in will find comfort in shared experiences!

post #2 of 309

I am also a SAHM but to 4, 3 boys and 1 girl ages 7 years, 5 years, 3 years, and 14 months. My husband also wants to get past the baby stage for similar reasons but, out of nowhere, he brought up that maybe we should have a baby sooner, rather than in 5 years, to get it over with so he can get a vasectomy (he doesn't want me to get my tubes tied). He just wants to go to Knobles one last time before we "try", not that we need to (fortunately). LOL I have conflicted feelings now. I have been looking forward to 5 years from now and planned on doing a few things before having another baby but, on the other hand, I -selfishly- wouldn't mind another baby if only so that my husband and I can finally have his peace(?) when its all over. I see pros and cons to both waiting and not waiting. 

post #3 of 309

I'm new here but in the same category.  I was initially planning to wait until 2016 when my mirena was due to come out, but I was having nasty symptoms with it in and after putting up with it for nearly 3 years I couldn't handle it anymore and wanted it out.  Thankfully it came out largely by itself last night.


So now the plan is to lose weight (I have 63lbs I'd like to shed) and then go from there.  So I'm here, wanting but waiting, for the long run it seems!

post #4 of 309

Hello, I'm also joining this thread. I have 1 yr old and she is absolutely precious, seeing this I want more like 4 more to equal up to 5. My Hubby and I are saving up for land so that we can invest into our land in the long run and have plenty of space ofr the kids. We're waiting til our daughter is 3 but my BF is making me want one when she is two... I rather wait as I'm planning for a VBAC and I'm trying to prepare for myself for that special day. 

post #5 of 309
I'm in! I am a SAHM to 4. DS1 is 10, DD-8, DS2- 5, DS3 -10 months. And We homeschool.
I would actually like 7 children if I got my way. But I'm not entirely sure DH is going to go along with that. So for now I'm waiting, we briefly discussed TTC in September.The baby will be 18 months then which would give me a good 2 year gap. Plus I would love to have a May baby. I would feel super excited to TTC since all 4 of my babies have been concieved as surprises. smile.gif
So nice to meet all of you ladies. I will be looking forward to getting to know you as we all wait together!
post #6 of 309

I'm the same 3lilchunklins...  I'd love to TTC around September time as I'd really love a May, June, July baby.  I have seven kids and their birthdays are January, February, March, April, August, October and December.  I'd really like the next baby to be in a month where there isn't another birthday and realistically for us, that's May or June.


Don't think DH would go for it this year though...  And I really need to lose some weight first, especially as I tend to have pregnancy complications which cause me to balloon in weight and size.  I'd like to be as small as possible before I get pregnant!  LOL


Plus a part of me thinks, my youngest starts full time school in September, which would mean for once I would be able to just lie back and relax during the day, go to my appointments without dragging small children along...  Just enjoy being pregnant without having to work around it too much. And then hopefully I'd get the first couple of months of just having baby at home alone whilst the kids are at school so I can focus entirely on that.  

post #7 of 309
Thread Starter 

After several weeks of thought about this, I am uncertain about waiting so long for my last baby (and if I do or do not want to be pregnant again). I think there are advantages to both having another child sooner and waiting an extra year. If we do have another, conception has to be late summer to have an early summer baby (essential for us as my DH is a teacher) so either this coming summer/fall TTC or the next. My friend just a had his first baby last night and I am sooooo excited for them. Makes me want to get pregnant this summer (also because I am finding my tow youngest kids who are 23 months apart to be lovely playmates AND I'd be done having kids sooner) but then again, the benefits I can imagine to spacing 3.5 years (rather than 2.5) seem to be an easier time managing them all at once and that the youngest would get an extra year BF and being the baby of the fam...I just can't decide. I have heard the extra year might not really make a big difference, perhaps just small differences. Anyway, thanks for letting me rant on here. I am letting myself wait until summer to check in and see how I feel about it then. DH fully supports me and realizes that my desire to have another baby is hormonal and a little emotional too. I want a larger family with close siblings (I was an only child for half of my life and desperately wanted siblings to confide in and have support me).

post #8 of 309
Can I join?? Our son is 28 months old and I just got my first ppaf yesterday! I knew it was coming because last week I suddenly could not get enough sex... something I've been mostly happy going without since Kai was born! We're going to spend 2014 paying off debt, saving money, competing education programs (IBCLC and DONA), and have a couple trips out of country. I'd really like to scrap all of it and just get to baby making, but I'm the primary bread winner, so that would be entirely too irresponsible!!

So, we wait. ..
post #9 of 309

I am sort of in this boat, too.  I have one more year of school before I finish my Master's program.  But my sister just had a baby, and I see all the cute pictures and now I have baby fever again!  And to make matters harder, my husband has been wanting another one for a while.  But I really want to finish this degree without distractions!  Gah, hormones.

post #10 of 309

Well 3lbs down, only another 60lbs to go. yikes2.gif


What are the chances I can lose close to 60lbs in 9 months?!  LOL  Probably pretty slim I suppose.  I'd also like to finish the house.  We extended our house last year to add a larger kitchen, and now I want to convert our garage into an extra bedroom and a laundry/pantry room.  I'm also hoping to split the largest bedroom into two bedrooms so our house will go from 4 to 6 bedrooms. 


How's everybody else doing?

post #11 of 309
Well congrats on the 3 lbs! Idk if 60 lbs in 9 months can be lost in a healthy way... but I think improving health and creating new habits is more important than the number on the scale smile.gif
post #12 of 309
Thread Starter 

Seven-- look up a website called mark's daily apple. read the success stories. It is possible to do in a healthy way! I've been eating mostly paleo since DS3 was born 9 mo ago and have lost about 50 lbs, buy I also have fallen off the wagon a few times. I ate strict paleo for a year before getting pregnant with great results. Clean eating feels great too. Good luck.

post #13 of 309
What?! Fo Rizzle?!
What's paleo? ha! idk but I'm definitely interested!
post #14 of 309

Thanks for the link writermama12!  I'm checking it out as I type.


I'm not sure I really expect to lose 60lbs.  60lbs would get me to the middle of my recommended weight, so I could lose less and be happy, but it's an easy goal.  140lbs would be my ideal...  I love the idea of cleaner eating though especially for the kids.  I don't actually have a huge appetite or eat particularly badly but it could stand to be improved and I could definitely do with moving more!

post #15 of 309
Thread Starter 

3lilchunklins- lol...paleo is just the term used for people who eat more biologically (like no grain/flour, refined sugar, processed oils or food...) we eat healthy saturated fats, meat, veg/fruit and I added in raw dairy. It is what the body thrives on at a cellular level. lots of books and research support this lifestyle, especially for disease curing and prevention.

post #16 of 309
Thread Starter 

take a look at the Weston a price foundation website too! btw, this isn't a weightloss diet, that just happens to be a great bonus. I chose to eat this way to optimize my health and to prevent disease, as my mother is dying from severe diseases all diet related.

post #17 of 309
Thread Starter 

oh, one more thing! I actually lost more like 70 lbs and didn't realize it! I don't count calories or even think about it, nor do I own a scale...but I just tried on my size 6 jeans (three pairs) and they fit!

post #18 of 309
Woohoo! I haven't been in a size 6 in like 3 years... and I had an eating disorder. So to hear about a healthy way to drop some weight is really exciting! I had been recently thinking of going on a low carb diet, so that is similar to what your talking about, I think. I still have to muster up the will power to say good bye to carbs LOL
post #19 of 309
Hi all, joining in as a Mama who is not sure how long she wants to wait to try for #2. My menses has returned recently but is not regular yet, at almost 20 months post partum.
My sweet son is just such lovely centre of my attention that I don't want to mess with that connection. I feel that my body and mind will let me know when the time is right to conceive again.
post #20 of 309
Thread Starter 

Welcome Bruna and welcome  Chaika and Mama2,


So I already told you about DH supporting me in my desire to maybe have one more child, but I got so excited last night that DH confessed that he in fact really does want one more that we threw caution to the wind in our state of feeling the love!! So much for waiting until next fall. Now to wait and see. I f I am not pregnant in two weeks, we will not be doing this again. Although I would be surprised if I wasn't since I have always gotten pregnant when DTD without protection. I am trying to be zen about it though. Etiher way, I'll be happy. But it would be better to wait, so I am crossing my fingers for that.

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