I think the important thing with spacing is to do what's right for YOUR family, which has little or nothing to do with what is right for someone else's family. Irish twins sound really miserable to me, but I have some friends who have more than a couple of kids that close together, and they're happy as clams. You just have to make up your own rules and go by those, and not sweat anybody else's opinion or advice too much. We can all sit around and tell our experiences, and what worked for us, and that's fun & great & good information, but nobody should feel like one way is better than another unless it's YOUR way. For me, I am terrible at multitasking! I am struggling really hard to be in school and work and homeschool- I feel like I'm way outside my personal comfort zone with what I'm doing now, so I really haven't been tempted to add anything else. Now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with my doctoral program, though, and I'm getting the homeschool thing under control a little better, I can start to get excited about having a baby. Plus, I won't be working much, or maybe not at all, once DC3 comes. So, the multitasking gets reduced, and I'm a happy mom again. :) It's all about knowing thyself, as they say.
BIA, congrats on making it this far! And I love the way you put it: "eggs to dodge." That's a great way to think of it. I take it you're a military family? We live in the Norfolk, VA area, where 7/10 of the people are military families, so I have several friends who have gone through childbearing sans hubby. It's hard, and hopefully you have other family or good friends nearby who can help you out and buy you ice cream at 3 am. ;-) Good to hear that you've planned it so he can be there at the end, though. One friend of mine ended up delivering all by herself at Langley when her hubby was deployed. She was supposed to call me to come be with her, but her labor was too fast, and I'm not military, so I got held up at the gate, and didn't make it in time.