I don't know...I have two wonderful, "easy" kids, and I still never feel guilty about spending the money my husband earns. I'm grateful and happy to be home, but full-time parenting is mentally, physically, and emotionally draining, even on good days. There are no-off duty hours, lunch breaks, vacation days, sick days. Unless my husband were an oncologist with a heart of gold, I can't see his job being more difficult than mine. Therefore, no guilt.
I don't necessarily recommend the book What Every Mom Needs, but I love this quote from it:
"SITUATIONS VACANT: HOUSEWIFE/MOTHER
Applications are invited for the position of manager to a lively team of four demanding individuals.
The successful applicant will be required to perform the following functions: companion, counselor, financial manager, buying officer, teacher, nurse, chef, nutritionist, decorator, cleaner, driver, child care supervisor, social secretary, and recreation officer. Applicants must have unlimited energy and a strong sense of responsibility. They must be independent, self-motivated and able to work in isolation without supervision, able to work under stress, and adaptable enough to handle new developments in the life of the team, including emergencies and crises. They must be able to communicate with people of all ages, including teachers, doctors, business people, dentists, teenagers and children. A good imagination, sensitivity, warmth, and an understanding of people is necessary as the successful applicant will also be responsible for the mental and emotional well-being of the team.
HOURS: All waking moments and a 24-hour shift when necessary.
BENEFITS: No guaranteed holidays, no sick leave or maternity leave. No workers’ compensation.
PAY: None. Allowances by arrangement from time to time with the income-earning member of the team. Successful applicant may be allowed/required to hold second job in addition to the one advertised here.”