I'm so sorry mama!
That is just horrible, unprofessional and small-minded. I had one loss in 2005 before my DS1, and one in 2008 before DD1 and it was horrible, but at least no one told me i had made it up. i was blessed to get very supportive care both times (the woman who did ultrasounds for my first m/c was hilarous, from Brooklyn, living in Santa Fe, and nicknamed on of my ovaries 'Zucchini Boy' and warned me i could populate an entire city w/ the 14 ripe eggs on that oversized ovary- so encouraging!)
That was my introduction to the world of fertility. before that, i had really no idea that i could even have kids.
and your first birth sounds a lot like mine. it was about 72 hours from start to finish, 36 hours active labor in the hospital. my son was born OP, which was not ideal (vaginally though, by a miracle, and after low-doses of pitocin and an epidural). my 2nd was only 24 hours of labor, but only really 3 1/2 of active labor. 5 pushes. I'd like to say that my 3-5 were that easy, but i have fun w/ posterior babies/and hands up in their faces. So here's voting for a 5 hour wonder birth for you!
I wasn't secure enough to choose homebirth on my 2nd for the same reasons as you. but w/ my 3rd, my LMP was NOWHERE NEAR my ovulation date, so i wasn't ready to lie and try to make a professional work. I found an amazing supportive midwife who has seen my last 3 born at home and is enlisted for my 6th baby.
Whatever you do, get support and labor at home as long as you can. you'll be hearing that a lot i'm sure! it's good advice. my husband is not my best support, so my midwife doubles as my doula, which is wonderful. i always want to say, some husbands are great doulas, mine is not, don't feel bad or expect yours to do that for you! be open and honest w/ each other and prepare the best you can!!!