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baby and public places/strangers/personal space

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

okay!Maybe this just happens to me but it seems every time I take the baby out in public(which isn't often)people touch his hands at the very least.One lady asked to hold him once!And some guy at an event we went to in October apparently tried to kiss his arm!!DH was holding him and the guy bent down so DH stepped back,not realizing what the guy was doing but then he did it again and DH stepped back again...DH didn't tell me until we had left.I was SO mad.

 

Am I alone here?Do these things happen to other people?What do you do?This drives me crazy!

post #2 of 10
I got that a lot and didn't really care. I don't mind people touching my baby unless they're total strangers and seem unclean or whatever. But I noticed it was a lot less when my daughter was in the sling. People seemed to see her as more of an extension of my body in that case, and rarely even asked to touch her.
post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 

these are total strangers I'm talking about and 9 times out of 10,he's in a carrier!

post #4 of 10

I didn't mean my reply to sound flippant.  I can understand why you wouldn't want strangers touching your baby, though it doesn't personally bother me.  Perhaps work on a simple one-line response you can say while pulling the child away that is polite and cheerful but firm.  Something like, "I'm sorry, we're avoiding much contact with other people until he has all his vaccinations" (whether you plan to vax or not). 

 

I always like to remember WHY people touch babies and pregnant women.  People are excited about new life and the potential contained within these little beings is a wonderful wonderful thing.  That's why for me at least I think it's important that if you are going to refuse people, you do it cheerfully and politely so that they're joy in meeting this tiny new person isn't diminished.  It's a matter of seeing both sides, I guess.  You absolutely have the right to protect your child from anyone's intrusions, but perhaps understanding why they want to touch the baby in the first place can help you frame an appropriate response.  

post #5 of 10
It happens to everyone, I think. I've really relaxed about it, because like PP said, people are mostly doing out of enthusiasm for the miracle of life, etc. it's WAY preferable to the anti-baby attitude I also encounter on occasion....

As for me, I just remind myself that these low level exposures to germs and dirt are how we all built our immune systems. Research shows being too clean really sacks out the system.

That being said, if you just cannot get used to it, I think protectively moving away from the person sends a clear message to all but the most socially ignorant people.
post #6 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyTiger View Post

I didn't mean my reply to sound flippant.  I can understand why you wouldn't want strangers touching your baby, though it doesn't personally bother me.  Perhaps work on a simple one-line response you can say while pulling the child away that is polite and cheerful but firm.  Something like, "I'm sorry, we're avoiding much contact with other people until he has all his vaccinations" (whether you plan to vax or not). 

I always like to remember WHY people touch babies and pregnant women.  People are excited about new life and the potential contained within these little beings is a wonderful wonderful thing.  That's why for me at least I think it's important that if you are going to refuse people, you do it cheerfully and politely so that they're joy in meeting this tiny new person isn't diminished.  It's a matter of seeing both sides, I guess.  You absolutely have the right to protect your child from anyone's intrusions, but perhaps understanding why they want to touch the baby in the first place can help you frame an appropriate response.  

I totally agree with this. Although, to be fair, I should say that people touching my babies doesn't worry me either.
post #7 of 10
I don't like people touching my kids or me...it just bugs me.
post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 

It's not even really a germ thing,not completely!It just irks me.I'm not a touchy feely person and I wouldn't just go up and touch someone's hands or face or whatever.I think babies should be given the same respect.

post #9 of 10
That's a good point. I am always taken aback a bit when strangers pat me on the back and such. This seems silly, considering everywhere else his hands had been, but my OB touched mycheek in this tender sort of "there, there" way after a bad news checkup once and I couldn't decide if I loved or hated it.
post #10 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynthiamoon View Post

That's a good point. I am always taken aback a bit when strangers pat me on the back and such. This seems silly, considering everywhere else his hands had been, but my OB touched mycheek in this tender sort of "there, there" way after a bad news checkup once and I couldn't decide if I loved or hated it.


Yeah, that's exactly it. I find that discomfort amplified when people do it to babies, especially newborns, who have far less ability to make their dislike known or to get away. I don't care if you're fascinated by the wonder of new life and babies- pregnant people are still people, newborns are still people, and they have every right to not have complete strangers invading their space and touching them without permission.

 

The other day one of the people who work at a cafe that we go to often enough, so the person is an acquaintance rather than a stranger, tickled my baby's foot- not a big deal- then interpreted the resulting babble as "stop it!". She made this big deal about how my baby was totally talking- then kept doing it to get it to happen again. (my baby was grinning and quite happy with the attention, the babble was just a happy squeal, or else I would have stopped it) If an adult had told her "stop it", she probably would have respected their wishes, it REALLY bothered me that she thought my baby was telling her to "stop" and that became a game for her.

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