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Nursing Mamas - Page 4

post #61 of 87

My nursing aversion is getting worse. I feel angry and pissed while nursing, I count to 30 and switch sides and 30 again. So about a minute maybe 3X a day and it is killing me. I feel so horrible. I bite my fingers through it because I feel almost violent when she is on me. I want to just scream and take a cheese grater to my nipples. My poor little cutie nursling doesn't deserve this from her mama. I think we might not make it to tandem nurse because I don't think I can make it if I'm only 9wk3d and feeling this horrible. I don't think we will make it to when the milk starts coming back in. I almost feel like even if my milk came back in I can't unfeel this horrible aversion. It's like she's chewing on my nipple or flicking my nipple with her tongue instead of suckling like she used to. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I feel like shit for feeling like this. I never wanted her to wean before she was 3 but my real goal was AT LEAST 2 and she is almost 29 months, so I don't feel too bad. :( Sad.

post #62 of 87

:Hug

 

i am so sorry.  i felt this way in one of my pregnancies (can't remember which anymore) and it was miserable.  i felt so bad, so angry, and hated HATED nursing.  but it's been different.  I think w/ my younger babies (like my current 11 month old, and he's my 2nd pregnancy at 9 months pp) it wasn't as bad.  but the kids NURSED.  like- i wake up at 3am and i'm LOOKING for him, and he nurses seriously and helps empty me and we both go back to sleep.  he doesn't comfort nurse.  but he never has.  

 

don't worry about too far out, do what you have to do now.  you've made it to 29 months (i weaned my DD1 at that age for similar reasons, and turns out i was newly pregnant w/ my DD3, but was able to keep nursing DD2 that pregnancy) so for me, my body was saying 'enough!!!!  i can't GIVE anymore!!!!' and listening to that was a really good idea b/c my body was maxed out.  we read books together, did her hair, snuggled as much as ever, i just told her i couldn't nurse her anymore.  she wasn't happy (and talked about missing nursing for a long time) but our relationship wasn't damaged.

 

you're an amazing mama.  blessings!!!

post #63 of 87
Yeah I feel like if I still had a big milk supply like when she was 11 months old it wouldn't be bad at all. I was already slowly drying up because she was over 2 and night weaned not drying up hut demand was so much lower so it really is just comfort suckling so maybe we will end up weaning, it just breaks my heart. But better my heart than our relationship because resentment isn't cool thanks!!!
post #64 of 87

My 18 month old is driving me batty today. She wants to nurse every five seconds and is teething with a runny nose. Fun times.

 

I am hoping to make it through pregnancy and tandem them. Her and the previous one didn't tandem because I had to wean due to the olders special diet that I couldn't keep up with while pregnant. I kinda missed that.

 

Supply seems okay so far. I have gone through some with no dip and some where I dried up completely.

post #65 of 87
I want to give a nightweaning update. ..my son pretty much sleeps through the night now. If he wakes it's only around 5am to crawl over to me and cuddle without seeking boob then goes back to sleep snuggling. So nice. I wish I had done this awhile ago.

I have like no milk now...he is still nursing during the day here and there but each session is very very short. I think having no milk may make him self wean. He's starting to refuse the boob if I offer it.

I don't feel sad about this as he seems even more cuddly and like he wants physical comfort in ways other then boob now which seems natural and sort of a relief.
post #66 of 87
Wow congratulations Othersoul! You give me hope! How many nights did it take you? I'm so nervous to nightwean for fear it will be a all night, multiple nights, cry fest. My 18 month old is awake so often, I feel lucky if I sleep for a solid 2 hours. I need to do it soon. I've considered the Dr Jay Gordon method, but almost wonder if cutting her off entirely at night would be better. Do or did you nurse to sleep? I do and am not sure how to get her to sleep any other way at this point. I have so many questions and concerns about so many things, but am trying take them one at a time, starting with getting more sleep at night...
post #67 of 87

I nurse and rock to sleep in a chair at night.  Then I transfer to bed.  After it's dark out no nursing in the bed, period.  That's our rule now.  

 

It took about 5 nights for him to get the message that he wasn't getting milk at night.  I also spoke to him about it during the day and how both of us need more sleep.  It took a lot of time for me to get the courage to nightwean and put up with some crying.  My breaking point came when he was waking every hour at night and would just suck and suck.  I was losing my mind and getting extremely angry and resentful of him.  I hadn't had dreams since he was born due to never getting good rest, and I was waking up severely dehydrated.  So I just decided to stop the night nursing and cut him off, for the sake of our relationship and my health.  

 

Yes, we had about 3 tough nights where he would wake and cry...I would try to cuddle him but it just made him enraged that I was cuddling him without giving him milk.  I just calmly explained what was happening and sang him to sleep...sometimes I would just do audible deep breathing.  Eventually in about 20-30 minutes he would pass out.  ... and even by the 3rd night things were much better.  By the 5th night he was sleeping through, or if he woke it would be a few whines and grumbles then back to sleep.  Now a week in, he is doing great, and accepts that he can get all the cuddles he wants at night without milk.  It's very ideal right now and I foresee things only getting better.  

 

It was very hard at first, not gonna lie.  I have never allowed him to cry like that his entire life.   And I cried with him on a few occasions. I almost gave in a few times but stayed firm.  But I had to cut him off.   It's bittersweet, as nightweaning signaled that he is growing up.  Hearing him cry about it made it seem like a 'growing pain.'  But I am so happy I just went ahead and did it.  I needed to.  I went 2 years without having ANY dreams due to extreme sleep deprivation.  I was never reaching REM states, or so it seemed.  I am so so relieved to be dreaming again every night, my head just explodes with dream after dream, vivid and I remember them with perfect clarity.   Both he and I wake up feeling refreshed and I no longer wake up feeling desiccated and dehydrated.  I feel like our relationship is SO much healthier now, it's unreal.  I really do think for some situations/mamas/toddlers nightweaning is essential. It's not fair to the mama for the toddler to nurse alllll night long, in my opinion, if it keeps her up and brings her to the brink of insanity.  And that's totally where I was at when I finally went through with it. 

 

I thought my son was a difficult sleeper too...now I realize his desire for milk was keeping him from sleeping deeply or something.  In helping him break the attachment for milk at night, now he is a different sleeper and sleeps much more deeply.  

 

Good luck...hope my story helps someone. 

post #68 of 87

:energy

so happy for you!!!!!

 

 

we've shifted baby out of bed most of the night and we've made it to 3 am some mornings.  4 am this morning.  and one morning (after a midnight feeding) 6am!!!

 

i'm so happy!

post #69 of 87
I tried night weaning my FREQUENT night nurser around 18 months and it was torture and we didn't go through with it and tried again at 23.5 months and it was so much easier and now she sleeps like a log but I know now that she was just not ready at 18 months. Bit hopefully if our supply slows down during pregnancy night weaning becomes less of a mom lead thing and just a boob led thing. Good lick and congrats other soul
post #70 of 87
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamsenleigh View Post

Wow congratulations Othersoul! You give me hope! How many nights did it take you? I'm so nervous to nightwean for fear it will be a all night, multiple nights, cry fest. My 18 month old is awake so often, I feel lucky if I sleep for a solid 2 hours. I need to do it soon. I've considered the Dr Jay Gordon method, but almost wonder if cutting her off entirely at night would be better. Do or did you nurse to sleep? I do and am not sure how to get her to sleep any other way at this point. I have so many questions and concerns about so many things, but am trying take them one at a time, starting with getting more sleep at night...

I did the Dr Jay Gordon method and we had only nursed to sleep before that. It helped to do a night or two of the nursing for a minute or two and then she had to let go and go to sleep. We really sped things up though and I completely skipped the whole picking her up to comfort her because why would I get up out of bed? Lol. It's also helped for going to sleep for nap and when going to bed. She's allowed to nurse, but I have her let go before she's 100% asleep (though she's pretty close to that for naptime, less so at bedtime). This became a necessity for us with pregnancy hormones. I just couldn't stand getting her unlatched myself. Would make my nipples ache for hours.
post #71 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by lactatinggirl View Post

I did the Dr Jay Gordon method and we had only nursed to sleep before that. It helped to do a night or two of the nursing for a minute or two and then she had to let go and go to sleep. We really sped things up though and I completely skipped the whole picking her up to comfort her because why would I get up out of bed? Lol. It's also helped for going to sleep for nap and when going to bed. She's allowed to nurse, but I have her let go before she's 100% asleep (though she's pretty close to that for naptime, less so at bedtime). This became a necessity for us with pregnancy hormones. I just couldn't stand getting her unlatched myself. Would make my nipples ache for hours.
I may try this same approach. I now have an added difficulty on top of weaning from the boob. My DD has always needed some motion to help settle her in, so I started with wearing her down then nursing in bed. Then it became necessary to bounce her a little more so I had the bright idea of using my exercise ball, which has worked great for naps and getting to sleep at night. However, she's been waking up in the middle of the night requesting to be bounced! She cried saying "night night" pointing to the ball and won't stop until I do. My back had been hurting so much it's becoming a huge problem. The last few nights have been better, I only had to get up once and bounce for a couple minutes vs. the 30-45 of previous nights. Her difficulty sleeping became such a problem my DH had to sleep in our first bed so he wasn't going to work with only a couple hours of sleep. Since he's done that we have all slept better. We don't like sleeping separately but the better nights rest has been good for all of us. So I now think I not only need to night wean from nursing but from bouncing on the ball too! I just thought that would naturally phase out due to my belly getting bigger and it being harder to hold her sitting on it, but that now might not be the case. Needless to say I'm a little stressed about both necessary transitions and the best way to go about them. My DD' s 18 month check up its Friday and am hoping our Dr will have some parts of wisdom to share!
post #72 of 87
Usually when I am ready to stop nursing at night, Daddy takes over. He sleeps with them, and gives them a drink and a snack when they wake up. It usually takes about a week, and they are sleeping all night. Dd just went from 3+ wakings a night to sleeping from 7 to 4-6. He gives her a quick drink.and puts her back down, and she sleeps another hour or two.

Besides the suggestion of giving them food and drink when you are first nightweaning, I wanted to agree that an intermediate step (like weaning to the bouncing ball) is okay. It's all part of the process. smile.gif
post #73 of 87

Still nursing my 3 yo in the morning and at bedtime.

We also nursed during my previous pregnancy (which ended in a loss at 20 wks)

 

I'm at 10 wks now, at it's starting to hurt a bit. Fortunately, she's old (and cooperative!) enough for me to be able to say: "darling, please stop nursing when no more milk is coming out. It hurts mama a little bit. It's not your fault. It's just because the milk is getting ready for your little brother or sister".

 

At some point last fall, I night weaned her gently. She was ready. We read the book "Nursies when the sun shines" together. She loved it. The illustrations are beautiful. I also bought a Gro Clock. A clock (like a "night light" I don't know how to say it in English) that is blue with stars when it's nighttime and turns yellow with a sun when it's daytime/nursing time.

post #74 of 87
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamsenleigh View Post


I may try this same approach. I now have an added difficulty on top of weaning from the boob. My DD has always needed some motion to help settle her in, so I started with wearing her down then nursing in bed. Then it became necessary to bounce her a little more so I had the bright idea of using my exercise ball, which has worked great for naps and getting to sleep at night. However, she's been waking up in the middle of the night requesting to be bounced! She cried saying "night night" pointing to the ball and won't stop until I do. My back had been hurting so much it's becoming a huge problem. The last few nights have been better, I only had to get up once and bounce for a couple minutes vs. the 30-45 of previous nights. Her difficulty sleeping became such a problem my DH had to sleep in our first bed so he wasn't going to work with only a couple hours of sleep. Since he's done that we have all slept better. We don't like sleeping separately but the better nights rest has been good for all of us. So I now think I not only need to night wean from nursing but from bouncing on the ball too! I just thought that would naturally phase out due to my belly getting bigger and it being harder to hold her sitting on it, but that now might not be the case. Needless to say I'm a little stressed about both necessary transitions and the best way to go about them. My DD' s 18 month check up its Friday and am hoping our Dr will have some parts of wisdom to share!

 

My husband has spent time sleeping in another bed too. When both my girls were in the bed, it was just too crowded (even in our California king) so he slept in the twin in DD1's room. Then when DD1 moved into that room, he'd sleep with her to keep her in bed. Now that they're both in that room (in a full now), he sleeps in the bed with me. I think it's all just different phases of night. No one is going to get divorced over JUST sleeping in different beds. Actually, my husband read and article a while back saying that couples who don't share a bed actually are happier (though also not co-sleeping obviously) because they get a better night's sleep. :-P

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by nathaliiie View Post
 

Still nursing my 3 yo in the morning and at bedtime.

We also nursed during my previous pregnancy (which ended in a loss at 20 wks)

 

I'm at 10 wks now, at it's starting to hurt a bit. Fortunately, she's old (and cooperative!) enough for me to be able to say: "darling, please stop nursing when no more milk is coming out. It hurts mama a little bit. It's not your fault. It's just because the milk is getting ready for your little brother or sister".

 

At some point last fall, I night weaned her gently. She was ready. We read the book "Nursies when the sun shines" together. She loved it. The illustrations are beautiful. I also bought a Gro Clock. A clock (like a "night light" I don't know how to say it in English) that is blue with stars when it's nighttime and turns yellow with a sun when it's daytime/nursing time.

 

I've thought of getting one of those clocks for my daughters because ever since they started sharing a bed they've been waking up at 6am (or earlier!). Does it seem to work well for you?

post #75 of 87
Quote:

I've thought of getting one of those clocks for my daughters because ever since they started sharing a bed they've been waking up at 6am (or earlier!). Does it seem to work well for you?

It works well from not nursing, but night wakings didn't stop. she only learned stategies other than nursing to get back to sleep. Maybe this clock can be helpful if you offer other strategies to either go back to sleep or "stay quietly busy" until the predetermined time.

Is this any helpful ?
post #76 of 87
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nathaliiie View Post


It works well from not nursing, but night wakings didn't stop. she only learned stategies other than nursing to get back to sleep. Maybe this clock can be helpful if you offer other strategies to either go back to sleep or "stay quietly busy" until the predetermined time.

Is this any helpful ?

 

Yes thanks!

post #77 of 87

So tonight I'm doing it. My nightweaning journey with DD begins and I am so nervous. She is going to be so upset, this I am certain. I honestly fear that we won't sleep all night. I mean she has to eventually get tired of crying and sleep at some point right? It breaks my heart to know how upset she is going to be, but I have to. I need to get some solid sleep before the baby comes and eventually need to get DD1 in her toddler bed. I started having her nap in it to get used to it and she does fine. I'm hoping once she is weaned it will be an easier transition at night. We currently only have a queen size bed and for such a littler person she takes up so much room. She also gets woken by us moving around frequently during the night and I think she would sleep better with out our movements. Not to mention once my belly gets big I'm going to struggle with comfort and space. We have talked of getting a bigger bed, but we just can't affort it right now. So back to nightweaning, I have a question. For those of you that did the Dr. Jay Gordon method, do they still (if they ever did) wake frequently before 11:00? Some nights I am lucky and DD only wakes up once before I come to bed between 9:30-10:00, but recently she has been waking up every 15-30 minutes. It would really be nice to sit and watch a movie with my husband and actually be able to finish it. I usually give up because it gets late and I get tired and just stay in there while DH finishes to movie. Not to mention it would also be nice to be able to leave the house after 7:00 bedtime every now and then. DD will not accept DH's comfort at nighttime. She literally freaks out if he goes in there and not me, screaming and pushing away from him. During the day is another story, as soon as he is home from work, she is glued to him and doesn't want him out of her sight, but that all changes at bedtime. So I have not been out in the evening since she was born. Soo obviously it would be really nice if that changed. I'm still uncertain at this point if I am going to nurse to sleep then cut if off completely until morning or do the 7 hour approach. Does anyone have any advice either way? Ugh, I'm really dreading this, but I know it has to be done. Wish me luck...

post #78 of 87
I have had better luck not nursing to sleep before trying to nightwean. Breaking the association between nursing and sleep seems to be the bigger thing. So, we do it in stages. The first step is me nursing them earlier and then them going to get a snack with daddy. I disappear at this point, and he does whatever it takes to finally get them asleep. Then, when they wake up, he gets them and brings them to me to nurse. After while, he stops bringing them to me, and instead gets a drink and a snack with them and goes back to bed with them. No crying, by the way, or very, very little. Eventually, he can just get up and tell them.to lay back down and they do. After that, we reintroduce me, and they don't really think about nursing at night anymore. I can give them a drink, or tell them.to lay down and they do.

So, not Jay Gordon, but that's what works for us.
post #79 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by FisherFamily View Post

I have had better luck not nursing to sleep before trying to nightwean. Breaking the association between nursing and sleep seems to be the bigger thing. So, we do it in stages. The first step is me nursing them earlier and then them going to get a snack with daddy. I disappear at this point, and he does whatever it takes to finally get them asleep. Then, when they wake up, he gets them and brings them to me to nurse. After while, he stops bringing them to me, and instead gets a drink and a snack with them and goes back to bed with them. No crying, by the way, or very, very little. Eventually, he can just get up and tell them.to lay back down and they do. After that, we reintroduce me, and they don't really think about nursing at night anymore. I can give them a drink, or tell them.to lay down and they do.

So, not Jay Gordon, but that's what works for us.

my method has been similar, but has been my MIL over the years instead of my husband.  :duck

 

she was just out for a week and after dinner i'd nurse (only seriously if baby was serious) and then I'd put him down.  he usually goes down VERY WELL at 7:30, especially if he liked dinner (he's a phenomenal eater and i made sure to have a full serving of meat and veggies and starches for him at dinner especially, and a little extra meat from his siblings plate often happened too!!!!)  he'd sleep til around 3 (after a few nights of up every hour or two just to be a grump) and then she'd pick him up, (tried a bottle, but he wasn't hungry at all) for a few minutes, then put him back down.  he'd fuss for 30 seconds or so but gave up.  the first 3 nights were rough, but then they seemed to figure it out.  then he'd wake up between 6:30 and 7:30, but would play happily w/ other kids pretty much til 7:30 or 8 when he'd need to nurse.  

 

So since then, my husband is back, and is having a hard time w/ me refusing to nurse at night.  he brings the baby in and stands there (while baby screams b/c he can feel my milky presence) and says 'what do i do?' and i say 'go back to the living room and sit w/ him for a few minutes and then put him back down.'  now, if he can skip the coming in to ask me part, the baby doesn't scream!!!!  he snuggles sweetly and then goes back down til 7/7:30 each time.  so the next step in night weaning isn't the baby, it's the husband......:dizzy

 

hitting the road for a week on friday and traveling w/ pack-n-play.  but we'll see how it all works out!!!

 

i have to say, the last half a week of sleeping each night has been blissful and deeply healing!!!

post #80 of 87

reviving this thread!!!!

 

any mama's still nursing?  how often?  how is it going?

 

my milk supply has dropped dramatically this last couple of weeks and we're facing the new challenge of HOW DO I GET OTHER FLUIDS INTO MY 14 MONTH OLD?

 

tried bottle w/ water, bottle w/ milk, sippy cup, regular cup, and as of yesterday seem to be finding some balance.  but he was slightly dehydrated (i was too) for about a week as we tried to figure this out.  

 

add to that my breasts are OW, and the hour long nursing sessions (3x a day) are challenging for my other kids, and my poor guy obviously needs more!  he eats a ton of food, that's not an issue.  he has 8+ teeth and can eat meat, veggies, dairy, no sensitivities and a great appetite.  i want to nurse through this til birth, but this one has gotten hard.  

 

support, ideas, encouragement, etc greatly appreciated!

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