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Angry and Bitter! (but trying not to be)

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

Maybe this is just a rant but hopefully some other women are experiencing this along with me. It's been a long, tough pregnancy with morning sickness for over 7 months now. It's alleviated some but some days are bad and some are okay. I have had to cancel trips, plans and have in general felt very excluded and left out of many things. Mornings are decent for me so I try to get out and do things like exercise and coffee chats with other pregnancy ladies. Overall I've watched my husband go off to work (which he really enjoys), go out with friends to dinner and parties and social events in general while I stay home not feeling well. It really sucks! I don't give him a hard time about it but just think it's a really unfair aspect of being a woman and the one who bears the children. 

 

I'm normally a social person and have been really missing this aspect of my life during these months. I'm trying to understand that right now it is my "job" to be taking care of myself but I can't help feeling angry and resentful of my husband (and men in general) who have no idea what it is like to grow a baby, much less be so sick the entire time. They probably take it for granted that they can just get up and go do whatever they want whenever they want. I'm trying to get out of this negative thought pattern and see the positive. Anyone else experiencing these types of things? 

post #2 of 5

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, Sparatikness. I can relate to the severe sickness part, at least for almost the first half of my pregnancy. I think it is really generous of you to try not to give your husband a hard time about going out to parties and such....and perhaps this won't be the popular opinion, but I think if I were in your shoes I would ask him to start to focus his efforts on supporting you, and maybe sticking home with you except for the occasional event. This baby is for the two of you, and I don't think it is fair to feel terrible and have to endure it by yourself! I believe if you are in a true partnership, your partner's job is to be supportive of your (or the family) needs before anything else.

 

Also, do you have friends that will spend an evening in with you, that you might feel comfortable just hanging out with when you are not at your best?

 

Not sure my response is what you were looking for...wishing you some relief!

post #3 of 5

I am sorry you are still so sick! I am not in the same boat but if I were I would be feeling the same way! My husband and I are both homebodies so we normally like to stay in for the most part. My DH only goes out occasionally and he lets me too. My problem is more taking turns watching DD or finding a babysitter. Sorry I am not much help other than letting you know that I would feel the way you are. I felt this way after DD was born because she had colic and reflux and cried all the time and wouldn't take my milk from a bottle so I couldn't leave her like ever! So I let him go out but I was pretty bitter at times. Good thing it is only for a short period of time and is all worth it! I really hope you start feeling better. And I agree that maybe you could ask him to at least cut back a little?? 

post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 

Yes he'll tone it down. He's not out whoooping it up every night, just normal social events that unfortunately I can't participate in. He's been extremely caring and loving during my pregnancy. I was hoping to use a few of these last days to get out and have some final adventures but life had a different plan for me. I'm very excited about this during my final weeks, it's just been hard to watch things happen around me that I can't be a part of. But, I'm moving on to do the best/hardest job in the universe!

post #5 of 5

Aw that is good that he has been loving during your pregnancy! Hopefully you will get a chance to get out together before baby gets here. My parents are watching my DD this Sunday so my DH and I can have one last date before baby (won't have another chance with Christmas and New Years right before due date.) I really hope you can feel better enough to spend a little special time with your husband before baby gets here. Being a mom is the most rewarding job, so difficult but so much fun, but it does make things more difficult to get out and have time with DH! 

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