Anyone here who can shed light on what I'm feeling?
I'm having my second - a girl, which I really wanted. But it's been hard for me to get excited about actually having her and meeting her.
My first is almost 5 and I'm so in love with him. Although I really want a family with several kids (I'd like 3 but my partner will take some convincing), it feels like I'm not that excited about actually having this baby, or looking forward to what she will be like. In a way it just doesn't feel real to me yet and I DON'T feel ready to be so close to having a new baby!! And in a way, I'm familiar with all the hard parts of having a baby from the first time, so it feels TOO real and not romantic or idealized in the least! :)
It just feels like our family is so perfect as it is - why mess with it?
I know I want this baby, and I don't regret getting pregnant, I put lots of thought into it and it was very wanted...but I just don't feel that excited about her as an individual yet or bonded with her or affectionate toward her. The novelty of having my first baby, hoping and dreaming about it, was so different.
I should say that I went through a very similar thing before my son was born - specifically, I really was worried that I wouldn't love him. Obviously that DIDN'T happen. :) I remember asking my friends who already had kids about it and them not seeming to really get why I would be thinking of that. I was really worried about it. Then he came out and of course I was like the most bonded parent you could ever picture - but it was a scary feeling to have beforehand.
I KNOW I will love this baby and that the oxytocin rush after birth will make all of this overthinking obsolete and I'll never look back. But I would love to hear if any of you are feeling this way, or if you felt this way with a previous birth.
I do worry that if I don't feel ready to be her mom, I'll have trouble progressing in labor because of that mental barrier to moving forward.