Hello All. This is a real shot in the dark, made in part due to a feeling of isolation, both actual and cultural. I have no idea if my presence here will be welcome as I am not a mother but a parent. I have no idea if it will be useful but I hope so. I hope to gain some insights into what it means to parent a gifted child and share my own experiences with others you might have similar ones.
I am what I call a 'gender variant visual artist' specialising in photography and portraiture as a way of being seen in the world. I photograph those who, like me, are outside the mainstream. I am also an intersex activist, a feminist and a late in life parent of a 2 year old.
My partner of 8 years is a psychologist who is doing a Phd as well as treating clients. We live in a small Swedish city 2 hours west of Stockholm. If you aren't aware of how things work in Sweden what I can tell you that from the perspective of someone who lived in the UK for 25 years and was born in the USA…they work pretty damn well, especially when it comes to having children and equal rights for LGBT people.
Our child, Mika, is being raised with 3 languages. I am the primary caregiver and we speak English together. Mika's mother speaks German and Swedish is spoken by the maternal grandmother, German by the maternal grandfather and in daycare where Mika has gone 4 days a week since the age of 1.
Mika was created via IVF with a known donor who is a friend and who has only donated to us. Legally our donor has no rights or responsibilities. For me/us it was important that Mika has a chance to develop a non obligatory relationship with our friend and know a lot more about him that height, educational level and eye colour. We see our donor/friend and his family 3-4 times a year and Mika has a half sibling that is 3 weeks older.
I won't go into detail here about Mika's possible 'giftedness' because for now I just want to say hello and see what kind of response, if any, I receive.
My questions about parenting a gifted child go something like this: 1. IS our child gifted? 2. If so, why is it important? 3. How can knowing a child is gifted make a positive difference and 4. How does one talk about one's child without alienating other parents?
Thanks for reading this rather long introduction!