Anyone deal with something similar? I guess I'm just looking for similar stories/ support. I don't want to tell them off or anything. Any tricks/ excuses to try and make things easier?
DaisyMae08 said it perfectly.
I only have a couple of things that you might say IF you think it would be received, particularly the first one.
"Our family's parenting choices are not open for debate or comment."
"My choice to parent differently does not imply your way is wrong, just different!"
Things might not be as bad this time around, since there's still a cute 2 year old to play with while you "hog" the infant. The best thing you can do is have complete confidence in yourself. Do what's right for your kids and don't apologize for it. The adults are adults and can deal with it.
When you have that "no-nonsense attitude" others will pick up on it and are more likely to leave you alone.
And using a wrap will help for sure....especially if you tell them you are nursing in it
I totally agree with everything that's been said here. Also, I just wanted to point out that while older generations may not be familiar with this concept, I'm pretty sure the general present day consensus is that it's impossible to "spoil" a baby under a certain age (which is at least 4 to 6 months depending on the school of thought). You don't have to be an attachment parent to know that the best thing for your baby is to soothe him when he cries. If you want to go into your other more controversial AP parenting practices (such as co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, carriers over strollers, etc. -- all of which I fully support), that's up to you, but I wouldn't let any well-meaning, but misinformed relative interfere with the relationship and the trust that I'm building between me and my infant.
I was in a similar situation with my youngest when he was born. I was breastfeeding him and he ate every 2 hours. My only suggestion to you is to tell them, he needs to eat at whatever time and whoever has him needs to let you feed him. They will get mad most likely, my family did but in the end it is what is best for him and you. Stand your ground and if they don't like it oh well. They've either had kids or have kids and have raised them or raising them they way they want and you are doing the same thing. You can always use the excuse that since he is so little you do not want a lot of people holding him right now b/c there are a lot bugs going around and just keep him in sling on you. Look but don't touch - I did this with several family members.
I just smile and say "I know, it's so hard to give him up, but the doctor wants me to make sure she is feeding enough while we travel." or "We're doing our best to follow our doctor's advice." My family offers respect and patience when I invoke our lovely pediatrician.
Wearing baby helped tremendously too.
It's great to see all of this support for another!
I can say that with my now 8 year old boy, i wish that i could've figured out to ask this question before feeling so alone and in someone else's home! Even in my own my choices were either ridiculed or up for discussion--!
all that i can say is that i agree with all who have supported your loving choices. My son breastfed a lot--often and even friends seemed miffed to see me as such a mommy. . an attachment parent, whatever.
Do what you know to be good, it is not to be rationalized. It is a pretty unevolved and sometimes very jealous person who believes that parenting can all be rationalized and explained.
Just get your quiet breaks and try hard to not excuse yourself. Stand up and like yourself. It will develop into other areas soon.. .such as potty training. and beyond.
Know what your child responds to the best and shut out the jealous people who perhaps did not get enough mother love. It is all that i can figure. You need to REALLY buck up to be a good mommy.
Wish i would've more than i did. My MIL hits my son on occasion and my hubby is so protective of her! He is now 8 as i said, and i tell her that i'd prefer a time out for him. . .etc.
she will reel into an arrogant and grandiose tone about how i am ridiculous to care. the hits are not beatings. . .NO, not at all.. .but, when others do not respect you and you wait too long. . .it becomes a power struggle that is not resolved and well, it can get messy.
Sorry for your situation but so happy to hear of such a great momma!
The Bean Dip Convo. As in "This is what works for our family-- please pass the bean dip!"
Change the topic. Nobody ever notices. "Not now; he's sleeping. Wherever did you get that lovely sweater?" "He's nursing right now. I love your hair, did you change the style?"
See how it works?
And it DOES work, almost every time. We are at my brother's right now for Christmas. He is WAY, way politically conservative, and I am not. I don't talk politics and his views bug the spit out of me, though I love him dearly. He seems to think he's entitled (but he HATES that word, lol) to voice his opinions whenever and however loudly. Yesterday he said something about Obama's health care website, with rolling of the eyes (our mother was in the room, too), and I said something like "Oh, how did you do with <something he was doing the other day>? How did that work out?" and sure enough-- topic changed.
You can do this!
My husband's family makes comments sometimes like, "She's hungry AGAIN??", when I nurse my baby. I just want to say, she's 10 weeks old and eats every 2 hours, get over it! I don't think there's anything abnormal about that. Family is wonderful, but sometimes they make me want to scream lol! I feel your pain. A few members of my dh's family also get irritated with me for not letting them hold my baby when she's crying. If she is upset, she needs her mommy, and they don't like giving her back to me even after I've explained multiple times that I'm not comfortable with letting her cry in someone else's arms. I'll have to try some of these tips!!