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The Saner TTC and Graduates -- Cold Moon - Page 3

post #41 of 226
Thanks mamablue - I think it a side effect (mum was on the same stuff for breast cancer, and had the temp issues)... No monitoring at all, this cycle is the testing and getting through Christmas break, I think he figures next month is the real start with the ivf... I'm on the letrozole coz I didn't want to waste this month... So opk's it is! I'm hoping this med makes all the difference - apparently 1-10 chance of twins if you get pregnant on these drugs - lol did you know that Oxford?
post #42 of 226

I'm being monitored to check how my body reacts to the drugs. Sometimes it can work too effectively and kick out a load of eggs with a risk of multiples and conversely it can fail to stimulate and I need a higher dose. Yesterday was a baseline scan to check out my ovaries. Apparently I have a small cyst on my right one, but it shouldn't be a problem. No side effects so far, all good. Should be finishing AF tomorrow so DH will be getting some Christmas treats for the next week, bless him!!

Mamablue- great news on your scan. Yay!!!! You must be delighted. I hope you can relax a bit now and enjoy. Just think, next Christmas you will have a babe in arms :-)

Chuord- glad the drugs are working and you are going for it! Hot flushes sound annoying. I guess you don't live I. A climate cold enough for that to be useful!! My drugs have raised my temp all the time. I think that's because it's an anti estrogen and estrogen lowers your temp, don't know whether that's true but seems logical. As we are in winter here, DH is livingy increased temp and is snuggling at night to keep warm!!! At least I am useful for something :-)
What date is your IVF in the new year (hopes you will have your BFP in this medicated cycle)

Ok- international sharing- what do you do on Christmas Day??
post #43 of 226
Oxford - so cute re dh snuggling and enjoying the extra heat smile.gif umm no re me - in aus at the moment we are in summer, there's a bit of a heat wave across half the country and I'm in Brisbane which is semi tropical lol! So yesterday we were out and about in 33 centigrade heat (and about 59-70% humidity which makes it hotter)- so my extra heat is not so fun. Luckily at home we have a slightly over powered air conditioning system so it stays cool... I have never been that good with the heat anyway - I grew up in Tasmania and the climate is very similar to south England lol. It's just funny really!
I love they thought of mama blue and the others with a babe in arms... Here's to it being all of us!
Christmas - my family is from the UK (Durham area) my husband is Taiwanese so he's not fussed except him and my sister love the Aussie seafood Christmas... So last night (Christmas eve) we had roast turkey and roast pork - roast veg, steamed veg, gravy and Yorkshire puddings - soo yum! There's homemade; Chrissy cake, pâté, terrine normally mince pies... Plus loads of cherries (7kg) today (Christmas) we are having cold roast, several salads, fried last nights veg, dh is making sausage rolls, and a prawn feast... Mums making a pavlova and a Black Forest trifle... Oh and Ive been forbidden from getting up too early, you are without children someone has to keep the early morning Christmas alive wink1.gif I see that as my roll! Oh and we made out own crackers... Christmas to us is about getting as much of the family together as we can and we use the food to celebrate that. There's only 5 of us in Australia, plus significant others now - so we are a tight nit bunch.
Merry Christmas and baby dust, and more importantly peace and healing to us all wherever our journey is at... 😊
post #44 of 226

Happy Christmas, I hope you are having a lovely day with your families and those you love.

I want to use this as a place to off load as I can't do it in the real world, not today. I'm so sad. Christmas is all about children and I don't have any. I am so desperate to get pregnant and have a baby if my own, today seems to bring it into focus and highlight the yawning gap in my life. To make it worse, I have my teenage stepdaughter with us this morning. She has come over to get her presents - a new iPhone 5. Now he has it, she has retreated into teenage monosyllabic. My DH is trying to make the most of being her dad and being as close to her as she will allow him. It makes me feel even more isolated.

I'm sorry for the blue Christmas message. I have been positive for the last two months and it has all caught up with me today. I have gone to church to get away from sd and have a cry in peace. I can't tell DH as I don't want to detract from his dad time.

TTC is a cruel experience and being a step mother makes it worse.

My sincere hope is that you are all having a joyful day. Best wishes to you and yours. I will be back with a more positive approach later. Thank you for letting me offload. Honestly sometimes I think I would go completely bonkers without you lot!! Thank you :-)
post #45 of 226
Dear Oxford, Being a mother is only one of the many roles a woman is in her lifetime. Today you are a supportive wife with a heart of gold. Today you are patient stepmom. That makes you irreplaceable to those around you. One day soon you will be a mother. Until then, know that who you are now is no less valuable than who you will become.
post #46 of 226
Mamablue that is beautiful and so true...
Oxford - also remember to be gentle with yourself, on top of the need to release you are on hormone changing meds. I was literally crying for no reason on letrozole. Really hear what mamablue said and be gentle and nurture yourself - huge hugs to you! I sorta get it, we had pics sent of my brothers girlfriends 3 children all day yesterday - although they're sweet, it's a constant reminder to me that my parents have to 'borrow' grandchildren.
post #47 of 226
Oh Oxford, I can completely understand how bitter today must have been. Especially with the unappreciative (for now partly because of her age and probably her lack of positive guidance growing up) teenager that makes an appearance to get the latest iPhone and then returns to her old tricks. That must feel cruel. I know how much you want to hold a baby of your own....ttc is a cruel and utterly lonely place when it doesn't go smoothly. Even men don't really understand, which leaves us women and our deep emotions left to sort things out on our own. Which yes is exactly why this group is a saving grace. Big hugs to you. I'm so sorry this wasn't your month...hopefully your body is adjusting to the meds.

And what Mamablue said is so kind and very true....very well said.

I have been off the grid for a while trying to recuperate. It has been tough but also the past few days have been good because all of the pregnancy symptoms are gone so I was able to cook Christmas Eve dinner and wrap presents, stuff stockings, etc. I still have pits of sadness though and find myself crying when no one is around. That's the toughest part....when I am by myself with no distractions.

Anyway I just wanted to pop in and sincerely thank each and every one of you for your sweet words over the past week or so. I have felt you all holding my hand during the roughest times. When I was taken up to surgery alone and hubby had to wait in the room I suddenly felt panicky and then realized that I had so much support and kind warm thoughts from all over the world. I felt calm and knew that I wasn't alone.

I hope that everyone had a nice Christmas today (for those that celebrate).

My DD went to her dads this afternoon so it's just DS and hubby and I for the next couple of days. I am hoping to get out and get some fresh air tomorrow...I feel myself getting depressed. I got back on my Lexapro (anxiety and helps with depression but it is a very low dose so I need all the natural boost I can get). We are fortunate to have had nice sunny weather here lately. Between that and my high quality Omega-3's I am hoping to nip this post whatever depression in the rear. I definitely feel the dip in hormones similar to after having a baby.
post #48 of 226
Wengrin - you made me cry, we love you and are sharing your burden... You are never alone on here. Please can you try magnesium supplement or oil (on skin) it's meant to be great for post part in blues etc... Hugs!
post #49 of 226
It's now the day after Christmas and I hope it finds you ladies doing much better. The holidays always sucked for me more so because we have nieces and nephews to buy for and it was hard to be happy when I am surrounded by what I couldn't have.
post #50 of 226
Wengrin - It is so good to hear your voice. I'm glad your nausea has eased, and I have confidence that your hormones will find level ground very soon. I'm sorry that you and having a difficult time when you are alone. Please know that it gets better. Enjoy your dear family and soak up all the healing sunshine you can.
post #51 of 226
Thanks Chrissy, you are soo supportive of our group wink1.gif do you have any plans for the new year?
post #52 of 226
Thanks so much ladies :-) You are all amazing and I so appreciate your kind words and support. I definitely feel the love.
post #53 of 226
Morning ladies,

Thank you for your support I appreciate it. It's been a tough Christmas and that took me completely by surprise. I think that trying for 14 months and getting the diagnosis all caught up with me. This time last year I was excited to think I would soon be pregnant.

Anyway, we have to pick ourselves up and continue trying, the only other option is to give up and I'm not ready for that yet! So I surviving clomid and now into bd season. Cd 11 here. My CM is scant so I have ordered some preseed, anyone got any experience? I'm back at the hospital this afternoon for follicle tracking, so hopefully there is at least one good one growing!

We stayed with my family and then my on laws for the last few days and I left my thermometer, oops! My temps have been all over the place do not sure it was helping anyway.

How are you all doing?

Chuord- have you o'd yet? Must be close?
Mamablue- still blooming and glowing?
Mares- did you see DH for Christmas?
Wengrin- did you enjoy your few days with DH and DS?
Hi to everyone else!
post #54 of 226
Oxford - I know, totally understand it all - and congrats for getting thru! I'm glad you survived clomid... The more I've been reading about letrozole is it does the same thing with less side effects, and a lower chance of multiples... (Due to a 48 hr half life) my temps were also all over the place but regulated after two days off the meds... Cd 15 today... I have no idea if the meds will change o day so we are getting better coverage than ever before... Hitting cd13, 15, 17, 19 and if I still don't have cross hairs by then we'll do 21 as well... I'm opk ing the whole week - yesterday (I think) was almost positive - today over a 3 hour period I had almost no line and even the control was faint (I take a lot of fluids) so no idea - hehe I told dh I'll let him know when he's off the hook.
Oxford I was way more emotional while on the letrozole, so your clomid probably made the emotional Christmas soo much harder - you really should be proud.
Wengrin - still sending healing and peace to you, you cope so amazingly well I'm still hoping that you are getting the time to process and enjoy all your other children
Everyone else - what's exciting? Or even boring lol?
post #55 of 226
Hi everyone- I have been disconnected from the Internet world....trying to cope with the season and allow myself time to emotionally heal. I feel physically so much better. No vomiting....I can clean my house and do laundry and make dinner for my family. It is sad though because I miss knowing that I had a baby growing inside of me. I am doing okay though. Just trying to push through.

Kids are out on Christmas break until Tuesday the 7th so it will be interesting trying to keep everyone busy and not complaining of being bored. Hubby was off work last week but he has to work this week...he took several days off to help me after the miscarriage so he used up those vacation days. Anyway we should be fine. I have projects for DD to work on and when she completes the chores then we'll stay busy doing some fun things.

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas if you celebrate that....our kids had fun making cookies for Santa Christmas Eve and my family was in town for Christmas morning so they enjoyed that. I got a Kitchenaid standing mixer that I have been wanting for soooo long. And some nice sheets for my bed. It was a good holiday.

I am already pining to try to get pregnant again...but I am also reluctant to try because I'm worried about my age and also the feeling of sickness that I had for so long....taking the progesterone was torture. So I have mixed up emotions about all of it. I see my OB tomorrow for the 2 week follow up.

Primal, how are you doing? Didn't you get pregnant the cycle after you miscarried? I hope you don't mind me asking. I just thought I remembered someone from the board that miscarried and then tried right away. I was going to ask my doctor how long they suggest waiting, but from what I have read it doesn't matter except for pregnancy dating purposes. Now that they have the ability to scan and measure the exact length they're able to determine gestation from that anyway, I would think.

Chuord sounds like you're doing well! Keep up the "work". You've been a good girl with all the BD. :-)

I can only imagine what the meds do to your hormones Oxford, like Chuord said the med she took threw her for a loop. I was a nauseous hormonal moody zombie on progesterone. That was torture. It is worth it though to have a healthy baby of course.

I hope everyone is doing well and I will catch back up with the personals when I have some time...it has been constant busyness with the kids home all day.

Does anyone homeschool here? I was just curious how that works for people.

Take care everyone. xx
post #56 of 226
Thread Starter 

Hi, everyone!


Oxford and Chuord -- I am very excited for your upcoming cycles.


Chuord, I've read a lot about people who jump straight to IVF getting pregnant faster with a lower risk of high order multiples. A lot of docs are going that way now. I hope it happens for you quickly now that you're on that path. But maybe this month will do the trick, and that won't be necessary; that would be great. I hope DH is taking his vitamins! ;-)


Oxford -- Fingers crossed for you! I have more than one friend who needed Clomid for that TTC boost, and was able to conceive once they started it. I hope this is the thing that does the trick for you. And I read and really felt what you wrote about feelings about motherhood around Christmas. That must be so hard. I can imagine being tempted to just run away to something tropical until the season is over, but you and DH were around for your stepdaughter... Anyway, it must have been so tough. I hope you can find some relaxation and enjoyment for yourself now that it's done.

Wengrin -- I'm glad you're feeling better. Please continue to feel free to talk about your experience however you need to. It took me a long time (both times) to get past the worst of the sadness after my miscarriages. It really is okay to feel it, whatever "it" is, for as long as it's there. It's so hard mourning something as abstract as an early pregnancy, but it's a very real experience.

I got pregnant the cycle after I lost my first pregnancy, and my first son was the result. I didn't have any problems with that pregnancy aside from some random bleeding. It took longer this time; I miscarried in May and got a positive in November. Yes, I do think the whole "wait a month" advice is about dating the new pregnancy, but early scans can be done. I would maybe pay attention to how you feel and start trying when you feel as though you've healed physically and are emotionally ready to try. Some miscarriages are harder than others and may need more recovery time.

AFM, I'm doing alright. I traveled across the country last week to spend Christmas with my family, and while I'm glad I did, boy is that an undertaking with three kids and a tired momma. I'm very happy to be home. Physically, I am tired and up-and-down with nausea. I got Zofran from my doctor, and it helps when it's at its worst. My insomnia is pretty bad right now. I'm having trouble getting into a good sleep. Very frustrating to toss and turn and then have to get out of bed early for work. But all seems well so far, and I'm grateful for that. This is farther than I got with either of the pregnancies I lost (9 weeks and 3 days today), so I'm feeling more confidence. I did have to stop my prenatal vitamins because of horrible constipation, I think from the iron. I am going to talk to my doctor about what alternatives I have.

I have a crazy week at work this week getting ready for a trip next week and catching up from being away last week. Wish me luck for hanging in physically so I can get everything done.

post #57 of 226
Thanks for the positive vibe primal! I hope it is interesting this month too, but I've also come around to the thought of the egg harvesting, feels like investing in the future. Re your supplements, I'm doing a combination of Percy's powders and vital greens to cover all my bases... I've included links in case anyone is interested. I naturally am the more constipated type, while unwell I spent about two years on laxatives - so I understand... Now I take herbal fibre blend and mainly no worries. Percy's powder has iron in it.
Re dh - yes he is taking them (woohoo) it's a shame he had to wait for a specialist to tell him though... Ranee and I have been trying to give him zinc for 6 months!
I need to post a pic of my chart - I think that I have O'd 4 days early! Very weird as I've always had a long cycle, lucky we started early as instead of fab coverage I've now got 3 days - hopefully that's enough!
post #58 of 226
post #59 of 226
Seven weeks today and the nausea and extreme sensitivities to smells just started! I had a rough Christmas break so far. My husband and i traveled to see his family, which was mostly difficult but we tried to throw in a little fun "us time". I got a urinary tract infection while away and was treated at urgent care with antibiotics. I blame the car trip and not taking enough potty breaks! Once we got home from the trip, my UTI symptoms worsened so i went to the ER. That turned into a two night hospital stay greensad.gif for a kidney infection. I was really worried that the infection and antibiotics could harm the little one, and it was my first time hospitalized so i was a bit shaken but now I'm ok.

I hope you all are doing well.
post #60 of 226
Lovely - hugs on the trauma, but I'm sure all is well with lo.. As long as you told them they would have used appropriate baby friendly meds... I actually think I read that uti's are more common with pg too
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