Husband terrified of home birth
I guess my advice is just teach, teach, teach! Homebirth is just as safe if not safer than hospitals and all their drugs and interventions. Give him lots of time to absorb the idea and usually make it completely clear why you need this for you, why it's so important to you. I basically didn't think hubby was going to come around so I told him this is what I'm doing, end of story...I'd prefer that to be the last resort but I'm not sure he would have come around had I given him the choice. Good luck to you and enjoy your pregnancy!
Interview midwives together. That way he can ask about all of the things he is nervous about and maybe in that his mind will be set at ease (I know that helped with my partner). Do you have any friend who have used midwives or had home births; talk to them about their experiences (and have their partners talk to your DH). Hire a doula.
Good luck! I hope you have the birth you envision!
I believe in homebirth as much as most MDC moms but I ran a new parents support group for many years and I say "don't marginalize the dad or his valuable role". If you do, that leads to trouble down the road.
I think interviewing midwives together is the best idea. It sounds like you've got a good lead on that already.
thats awesome! congrats! of course thats all that it boiled down to...he's afraid of the what if's but get him to do some research and he will see...a midwife can solve most any issue that could arise and because of the fact that it would be a natural birth in a relaxed environment at home the likelihood of a complication lowers as well..I think it's awesome though that he came around and is seeing what is important to you. trust me, when all is said and done and he's holding that little baby in HIS home he's going to be so glad as well that he chose that route!
Perhaps is is scared because of your bleeding ? Maybe you two can visit your old OB and go over the records so OB can show your DH that you did not have a rapture or any serious issues and that would put his hear at peace.
Out yourself in his shoes, he is terrified that you will die and he will be left a single parent of 4 children.
I do not want to be grim, but I believe in open communication between spouses. Outline to his the worst scenario, life insurance you have people who can step in etc.
Look together at the statistical risks of rupture after C-section with the number of births you had.
Men are logical creatures. All that women's wisdom thing does not impress them.
My husband felt the same with our first pregnancy and birth. Our hospital experience was so traumatic, that he was finally willing to watch The Business of Being Born with me. That movie touched his heart and finally made him willing to consider a home birth. I also read a lot of birth stories and shared (told) them with my husband. Those helped build his comfort level as well. And we interviewed midwives together. Our very experienced midwife made him feel very confident in planning our home birth. And, given what he learned about how hospitals operate and the dangers of giving birth in the hospital, he finally became my greatest supporter!
All the studies that show that homebirth is about as safe as hospital birth are based on low-risk pregnancies. All the studies that show a substantially increased risk in homebirth include high-risk pregnancies. A VBAC after an emergency c-section is NOT a low-risk pregnancy.
Does this mean that you shouldn't have a homebirth? Of course not. Every woman has to make this decision based on her own priorities. However, that decision shouldn't be made based on objectively false claims about relative safety.
Extensive reading and research. This topic fascinates me and I've read a ton on it. I'm also very careful about making sure that I'm right before I say something (although we are all human and it's entirely possible that I have made an error at some point).
If you'd like citations/explanations of any of the claims I've made, I'd be more than happy to provide them.
You are mistaken. I don't in any sense oppose homebirth. As I've said many times, I completely understand why many women make the choice to give birth at home. If you had an extremely traumatic experience at a hospital, I completely understand why you might accept a relatively small increase in absolute risk. And I support your right to make that decision 100%.
That being said, I think it's incredibly important that these decisions be made on the basis of accurate information. That means looking at statistics. Statistics are (admittedly imperfect) representations of reality, not a tool to scare you with. Even though they're imperfect, I'll take statistics over simplistic slogans any day.
Your claim that homebirth is safer than hospital birth in these circumstances is based on a slogan. That slogan itself has some basis in fact-- for low-risk pregnancies it is true that homebirth is about as safe as hospital birth. It doesn't apply here, however, since a VBAC after an emergency c-section isn't low risk. No mother in this situation should make a decision based on a claim that isn't true, no matter how often it is repeated.