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HELP!!!! Not sure what to do with our middle child

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

We have 3 kids, the oldest is 6 and in 1st grade. He has no issues whatsoever. Our youngest is 2 and she's a treat. Our middle son, however, is having more and more issues at Kindergarten. He was having behavior issues before. He has settled in and been doing MUCH better. Now, however, he is starting to wet his pants regularly and occasionally poop his pants as well. We are fine with the occasional accident (it happens), but he went from the beginning of school in Sept. to the second half of Nov with 2 wetting accidents. The last month there have been good weeks with no accidents and others where my wife is called to the school daily to bring a change of clothes. Recently he even pooped his pants. We are not sure what to do. We discipline all the kids equally, no problem. He doesn't have any accidents at home. When my wife went to change him today after another accident she asked him  why he doesn't go to the bathroom, there is one in the classroom and the teacher doesn't stop any child from going when they have to. His reply? "I was busy", really? We need to get this under control. Any help/advice would be GREATLY appreciated. We have tried being strict, we have tried rewards/bribes, we have taken him to see specialists (including a urologist). I have no idea what else to do. 

 

 

I know it's rare to find a Dad on here, but hey, we have GOT  to find a solution. We can't keep sending him with a change of clothes or have my wife go to change him everyday. 

post #2 of 8

It sounds like he's not adjusting well to the kindergarten class. There might be a medical reason (not feeling when he needs to go, so he doesn't get there in time.) Or it might be emotional- that's far more likely. If it truly is a matter of "being too  busy to realize he has to go" then the teacher might be able to help. If she gave him a gentle, discreet reminder to use the  bathroom a couple of times a day, this might solve the problem. Try having a meeting with her (or him) and see if the teacher can help out in that way.

post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
 

It sounds like he's not adjusting well to the kindergarten class. There might be a medical reason (not feeling when he needs to go, so he doesn't get there in time.) Or it might be emotional- that's far more likely. If it truly is a matter of "being too  busy to realize he has to go" then the teacher might be able to help. If she gave him a gentle, discreet reminder to use the  bathroom a couple of times a day, this might solve the problem. Try having a meeting with her (or him) and see if the teacher can help out in that way.

Thanks for the reply, I agree, he may be having trouble adjusting to Kindergarten. The teacher is the same one his older brother had last year, but his brother is much more mature for his age. I am not sure she is willing to be much help, however, when we were dealing with the behavioral issues earlier in the year she suggested he may be autistic or have ADHD - my wife took him to specialists for that as well, they pronounced him perfectly normal, but extremely shy. Which he is, he is the type that won't speak unless he actually has something to say. And he doesn't speak much in school. I tend to think that will pass with time in the class as his comfort level grows.  

post #4 of 8

If it doesn't pass with time, you may need to look at alternatives to this particular school. If he's feeling unsafe there, he might do better in a smaller classroom or to be homeschooled, where he can interact with other homeschooled kids in a more relaxed environment. But homeschooling isn't for every family, and he may do just fine after he's adjusted more.

post #5 of 8

First, I would get him tested for a urinary tract infection.  My dd had one once - she didn't seem to be in any pain but was doing a lot of "dribbling."  I felt terrible when it was finally diagnosed.  If there's no medical problem, I would be very gentle and let it run its course for a little while.  I think sometimes growth can mess with their little bodies and they might go through periods when they have accidents.

post #6 of 8
Is he four or five years old? He may not be ready for kindergarten. Are you in the. US? If so you could search online for the law per age for education in your state. Most children in my state are sent early, not at the required age, age six. Waiting until the legally required age may be something to consider so that he has the time to develop another year before taking on kindergarten.
Is it full day or half day?
post #7 of 8
Could he be afraid to pee/poop at school? My son had told me awhile back that he doesn't like pooping at school cause the toilets flush too loudly. If you ask him, what does he tell you? Could he have gotten picked on while using the bathroom? Was there a fire drill while he was going?
post #8 of 8
My dd has pee accidents just at school in kindergarten. After the fourth I asked the teacher why it was happening and made it clear that it didn't happen at home. The teacher let her just go when she needed to pee because she was waiting until the last minute and the problem stopped completely.
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