My husband and I have a wonderful four year old. We are in the process of separating - still living together, but I have hopes that he will move out very soon. I had hoped the process would be amicable (and I have stretched the process out over a year in order to try to bring that about) but ultimately my husband is very angry with me and it isn't going to be as smooth as I would like.
I want only the best for my husband, but I just can't live with him anymore as our relationship is extraordinarily unhealthy for me. My four year old son clearly favors him. This is because they he showers attention on our child, sets few boundaries, and is very fun. Of course, I would love to be so fun and set fewer boundaries and play all the time, but someone has to cook healthy food, limit sweets, and attend to all the administrative, financial, and household needs of the family and that falls to me, so I am less popular. I am extremely kind and engaged with my son, but ultimately, I have to work more (I am primary bread winner) and attend to household (I am also primary household manager, cook, cleaner, etc).
We haven't told my son yet, we plan to have 50/50 custody, but I expect my son will want to spend more time with my husband and be vocal about that. Suggestions on how to handle this? It breaks my heart that my son so clearly favors and adores his dad, while I am clearly just fine but nothing to write home about. I have always wanted children and I absolutely hate getting to spend less time with him and having to insist on "grownup" choices when he would be so much more thrilled if I indulged him like he dad does.
I do not want to bad mouth my husband. And getting my husband to cooperate is out of the question. He will do what he will do, and my goal is to do the best with what I can do.
Suggestions welcome. With so much thanks for reading and support, seekingpeace1