You must know, I am SO curious to know what area you live in. I don't want to invade your privacy, and at the same time, I'm always trying to figure it out!
As for our bedtime, Jasper has super-yucky acid reflux (so did my other two - genetics!) and there is a lot of crying in the evening and at bedtime. We've JUST figured out a system where DH or I walk him around as long as it takes to get him to sleep (10:30/11pm), then DH sleeps propped up with Jasper on his chest. He'll typically sleep there for 3-4 hours, then he's comfortable enough to be brought into bed with me, and we nurse every couple of hours until I get up with my bigger boys at 6. Jasper stays sleeping in our bed until the next time he wakes up and wants to nurse, sometimes as late as 9am. I WISH I could stay in bed until then!