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Mothering › Groups › March 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › Starting to freak out!

Starting to freak out!

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

OK. I'm starting to freak out a bit. I made plans early in this pregnancy (when I had clearly completely forgotten what it's like to be post partem and have a newborn and was feeling extra strong from tons of marathon training) to return to work two days a week 1.5-2 weeks after having a c-section. WTH was I thinking? I'm really not feeling confident about this now. The problem is, I don't see what I can do now except follow through. I also teach so I need to be standing and moving for long stretches of time. Also, I do NOT want to have to give the baby any formula so I will be juggling pumping for the first time also (I was home with my first two). I also live over an hour from work so I'm gone for a 12 hour stretch. 

 

Meanwhile, I love my job. It is absolutely ideal for me. It suits my personality perfectly and is perfect in every way. There is no chance of getting another one like it in my area. I will also be off for the summer 8 weeks after the baby is born, so it's only temporary.

 

I hope this works out ok!

post #2 of 16

That.... How old are you?

And I recommend a stool. And a really good quality belly binder.

post #3 of 16

I ask age because younger people heal better and faster ;)

post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 

I'm 36, almost 37 by March. ;)

 

I have to move about so no stool, etc. I need to look into the belly binder. The OB denounced them saying they do little for diastasis recti.

post #5 of 16

They gave me some in the hospital last time, but they were really small. Held in around the incision and my belly spilled over the top - a really good look!
I think a fuller binder would do better and look better, as you're going to have to wear clothes. It's not something I'd skimp on, either. Get a nice one, it'll matter :)

post #6 of 16

If you end up needing to take more time do you think your employer will be flexible?

You could decide not to worry about it at all now. See how you feel after the birth and if needed work with them to adjust hours arrangement when the time comes?

post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 

newmama2b:  I won't be able to change my mind. That would be the worst possible scenario because they will have no one to cover my classes. It would be better to at least help them plan.  Though now I feel like I can't ask for more time.

 

beckily: Do you have a suggestion on the belly binder? I can't tell the difference between any of them. I'm really tall too, if that matters. 


Edited by SugarAndSun - 12/22/13 at 6:29pm
post #8 of 16

Realistically, what do you think is going to put them out more?  You being open about not being sure and perhaps needing to make alternate plans (while giving it your best shot) or not saying anything, pushing yourself too far, and then being forced to not go in at all?

 

Will you be fired if you ask for them to also help you have a backup plan?  Or is this more about not wanting to put people out?  Because if it's the latter, I think the most responsible thing is to be honest.  The last think you or they need is to do something really ill advised because you have left it so long you don't have any other option--and then end up seriously damaging yourself and being out even longer.

post #9 of 16

how long will this be temporarily? aren't you supposed to have 8weeks off or something for disability if you have a c-section??

 

I would suggest talking to them about it now and seeing if they are ok with having a backup plan too. 12 hours gone  from your baby that soon after will not only be emotionally hard on both of you but def physically challenging as well.

post #10 of 16

Have you talked with your OB/midwife/doctor about your plans to return to work so quickly?

 

My biggest concern would be that you push yourself too hard so early and your recovery takes longer than it should. If at all possible, finding someone now to cover you for an extra week or two seems like a better plan than attempting to push yourself so hard that you end up miserable or with complications.

Maybe see what your doctors think & perhaps approaching work with a note from them will make it easier to request the additional time?

post #11 of 16
Thread Starter 

It is about not wanting to put anyone out. I just got a new position and I'm afraid that having to take a leave so soon after assuming the position would trouble the person who recommended me for the position and jeopardize my reappointment. 

 

I have an appointment with the midwife group from my last two pregnancies in a week and a half. I'm going to talk to them and my current doctor and then decide. I think it may be best to find someone for at least a few weeks. I will be super difficult for me to leave the baby and pump so soon, but I think it would be doable after three weeks. 

 

Now I appreciate what a luxury it was to stay home with my other two! 

post #12 of 16
Wow, I would definitely try to work on alternate arrangements ASAP. 1.5-2 weeks is simply too early to be gone for 12 hours at a time!! Even with a vaginal birth, much less with a csection! Of course, people do what they have to do, but if there is any way to avoid it, it would be worth it. They still have a few months to try to find someone else to cover for you. There is a reason typical disability insurance goes for 8 weeks after a csection. I would go with that as the minimum, and back yourself up with the employer citing that period of time--even though it does not cover you for paid leave, it is an amount of time that is reasonable to expect to need to heal after birth.
post #13 of 16

I say this gently but honestly.  You say you are worried about putting people out.  But you are forgetting the most important people in this scenario....your newborn and yourself.  You should still be on your babymoon at that point, mama!!  And a C-Section is major surgery....you need that time to heal and bond with the baby.  Or you will be no good to anyone!  And worst case scenario and you dont feel like you can do it, then you will really be putting your employer out, and last minute.  

I would try to make alternate arrangements and buy yourself more time before returning to work like that.  Just my honest opinion.  Good luck!  I hope you can work it out.

post #14 of 16

I really do think that they should understand. A major abdominal surgery warrants some extra time off. Is your boss nice?

post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mountainsun View Post
 

I say this gently but honestly.  You say you are worried about putting people out.  But you are forgetting the most important people in this scenario....your newborn and yourself.  You should still be on your babymoon at that point, mama!!  And a C-Section is major surgery....you need that time to heal and bond with the baby.  Or you will be no good to anyone!  And worst case scenario and you dont feel like you can do it, then you will really be putting your employer out, and last minute.  

I would try to make alternate arrangements and buy yourself more time before returning to work like that.  Just my honest opinion.  Good luck!  I hope you can work it out.

 

 

This is true and I totally appreciate the honesty. However, this position allows me to spend a lot of time and work from home a lot so in the long run it's actually ideal. 

 

It is temporary. I am finished with the semester at the beginning of May and then I'm home for just about the whole summer except for a few meetings. 

 

Thank you all though... I am thinking they certainly need a back up plan in case something happens and I can't go back right away. It's better to have that set up and not have to use it than have a big issue at the last minute. 

post #16 of 16

It will all work out, SugarandSun :love It has to, right????

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