But I've noticed others who've mentioned that their pregnancies were unplanned too, and I'd really love a place where we could talking about all of our associated excitements and disappointments.
This is my third unplanned pregnancy. I got pregnant once on the pill (never missed a day), once while using a condom and this pregnancy I was using FAM and not sure if it was the pullout method three days before O (DH pulled out a good five minutes before he finished) or the unprotected sex 3 dpo that did us in but obviously something went wrong somewhere! Sorry if TMI but I'm still trying to figure out what happened...
I had been really starting to feel done and like my family was complete. Hubby was sure he was done, and we had started serious research on the "Big V." I was starting to workout again, to write again professionally and was starting to look forward to not having tiny kids anymore. We also just started my oldest (she's 4) at Waldorf and we love it and were hoping to be able to scrimp to afford that for both kiddos down the road...
What's that saying, that when you make plans, God laughs? I am not a religious person, but I consider my surpregnancy with DD 2 to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It taught me that I don't always know what's best and that surprises can be amazing!!!
I'm trying to hold on to that knowledge, to remember that I was a little depressed when I found out about her, too. To remember how amazingly important she turned out to be for our family! I'm trying not to constantly stress about money and stress and energy.
But sometimes I do need to vent a little. When I go to hubby, it makes me sad because he has even more anxiety/ uncertainty about this pg than I do!! And one of my friends was horrified when I told her about my negative feelings. I think you really can't understand if you haven't been there.
I know how blessed I am to never have dealt with a loss or infertility. But I sometimes feel overwhelmed at this burden. I'm hoping you mamas can help.
One thing that has always helped me in the past, that is almost like a mantra for me, is that nine months is a long time, that a lot can change in nine months. With DD2, the month before she was born found me hungry for another baby. I felt so lucky that I wouldn't have to wait.