Its been almost a year since I was told that I couldn't have children, due to my birth defect. 3 doctors told me that the risks were just too high, and some of my medicines for seizures and spasticity could cause spina bifida or other deformities, so they strongly recommended that I not get pregnant at all. In July of this year, I had an endometrial ablation and my tubes tied to completely prevent pregnancy.
I thought after I recovered that I would feel better, emotionally, as well as physically, but I still feel miserable. I get upset that I was born with something myself that has prevented me from having children of my own. I am the only first generation granddaughter on my mom's side of the family that has never given my grandmother a grandchild. Plus, on Christmas Eve, my Mom joked that she wished she had more grandkids. My brother flat out doesn't want to get married, so he is out of the question of grandkids, and my sister said that Brianna is enough of a handful, so she doesn't want anymore. I told Mom I was sorry I couldn't give her another Tasmanian devil, like Brianna, as a joke, but deep down inside, I was crying.
I have wanted children ever since I was younger and to be told I can't have any, it kills me inside. Because of my income and because I am single, I can't adopt. I have thought about foster parenting, but I don't know if I would be able to let the child go if they were sent to a different home.
Has anyone else who has been told they can't have children felt the same way. Its like no one understands what I am going through at all. Everyone tells me to get over it, but its hard.