Originally Posted by taichimom
Hi All- I had a m/c in August and now am 7 weeks- this is my 6th pregnancy, but I only have 2 kids. I am hopeful because I feel sicker than I ever had before but I kinda expect to see blood every time I go to the bathroom.
Actually I'm due the day before my mc started.
Just want to fast forward to Feb, when hopefully all my first trimester screening comes out okay and I no longer feel nauseated.
For now, I'm telling no one except DH- I don't really feel their knowing would help if things do go wrong, and once people know all their asking about the pg is just annoying.
Yes, I also expect to see blood, I neurotically check the toilet paper every time!
I also find it impossible to be excited about the pregnancy just yet. I am sure I have PTSD from my first MC in February that was actually a missed miscarriage. So I spend a lot of time worrying and knowing that I shouldn't worry. I'm doing a lot of inner work and therapy to release my fear of being pregnant again but it's not easy, that's for sure! I should start doing some yoga too.
I just can't wait until I can actually feel excited about having a baby. That's what I hate most about having losses, it just robs you of any immediate excitement in subsequent pregnancies. You basically just feel like you have to go, "well, I'll wait and see what happens..."
Don't get me wrong, I am OVERJOYED to be pregnant again, to have another shot at this. I just also feel very cautious and disconnected from it at the same time.
Right now I am in a positive state of mind so I FEEL like all systems are go and that I'm gonna have a baby in August! But I spent the past two days in a rut of being convinced I'd already lost the pregnancy, even though I have no logical reason for thinking that. I think it was just my anxiety getting the best of me though. I am really striving to stay focused on the positive and have trust in my body and in nature!! I want to believe "It's happening" and most of the time, I do.